Monday, December 12, 2011

Tragedy & Sadness

Tragedy - Sunday after Thanksgiving, I ventured to the Sunday night service... the youth pastor is speaking tonight about letting God's love shine through you. 5am the next morning, hubby calls to say our friend's son shot himself, he is alive. These friends are more like acquaintances... they are not always easy to love. As I race to the hospital I pray... "God, let them see your love through me, let them see your mercy and grace and use me to show them your unconditional love... God let them see your love through me..." The entire family goes to see him almost every night... They say, you've done enough, you don't have too, and I know that, but it's not me showing them this love, like I said, I find them difficult to love sometimes, but God doesn't. He has simply answered my prayer and so I go with a loving heart that I am not capable of. He is healing physically, I hope spiritually as well. 2 1/2 weeks later, he may get to come home Tuesday... Pray for him and his family.

Sadness - The sadness has been a bit overwhelming lately, I thought I was healing, I wasn't crying over the loss of my dad daily anymore... but then, it crept back in and took hold. Only it's not daily, it's multiple times a day... I can't explain it. Hubby doesn't understand it, or... or is the sadness more than grief? I can't tell... I feel "ok" when I deliberately set my mind on other things, but at the slightest memory, my eyes fill with tears and I began deep breathes to hold it in... Am I grieving loss? Regret? Guilt? Or is it just the first Holiday?

Monday, November 28, 2011

Who's Buying?

Over Thanksgiving weekend we were decorating for Christmas and my Little P (Age 11) says to me:

P – Mommy you are just gonna have to tell me whether or not Santa Clause is real because one day I am going to have my own family and I need to know if I need to buy toys or if Santa is going to bring them.

I’ll give you a minute to roll on the floor cracking up

M- Is there something you need to tell me???

P – NO!

M- When you stop believing, Santa stops delivering.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way!

Give thanks, even for the fleas. (The Hiding Place)

The very thing you are seeking deliverence from could be the same thing that is delivering you!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Christmas Sale!

There is a HUGE sale going on at Blessings Unlimited... Check out the amazing deals and Christmas gift ideas...  The Cake platters are 8" 10" & 12" all the pillows are Covers and the apron has the same pattern as the vase next to it. You can contact me on my website at:

Monday, November 14, 2011

Moms - could you weigh in here?

Does anyone else randomly burst into tears at the memory of picking up your smiling, drooling, chubby baby even though she is 11 yrs old? Or cry the entire way back to the office after you pick up your 14 yr old from school and drop her off at home, only to here her say "pooey"when you have to leave?
Or when your teen plays "Mary had a little lamb" on her flute for the first time? Or cheers at her first game?

I burst into tears when my daughter got a Birthday Card from my step-mom and I saw that my dad's name was excluded. Not that I expected it to be there, but then at the same time, it's absence was overwhelming.

Is this residual grief from losing my dad?

I've always done this, but not to the extent I am experiencing it now.

Just trying to figure out if this is relativly "normal" or at a"seek counceling" phase...

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


I wake up in the middle of the night, blink open my eyes and look at the time 3:16am… My brain foggy, and my eyes closing, I faintly recall thinking to myself “For God so loved the World…”

Up again a couple hours later and I am in the truck while my husband drives me 10 hours to my dad’s funeral. Nothing seems real, the highway passes by in a blur, tears escape from my eyes and I can barely eat. I can’t think about it, I have to set my mind on other things just to function.

 A week later and I am home, back to work and back to school as though nothing has changed. I wish I could wear some sort of ceremonial ribbon, or veil so that the outside world could understand that I am broken… Instead, when acquaintances asks “how are you?” I struggle with how to be honest, without breaking down, or without sounding like I am looking for some sort of pity party. Sometime I can manage to say “I lost my dad recently”, some days I can’t say anything and just nod that I’m fine. I sit in my car preparing myself to walk into the bank and respond to those pleasantries, I look at the clock, 3:16 “…that he gave his only begotten son…”

A month has passed already, I have been an orphan for a month now, or at least that how it feels. Incomplete. Broken. I just can’t come to terms with the fact that I will NEVER get to talk to him again. WHY was I such a chicken, why didn’t I just come out and ask him… “Dad, are you going to heaven, you know we are all sinners, right? No one better or worse than anyone else” I lay awake at night praying for his eternal life, I have to believe that he was saved, I couldn’t bear to think otherwise. How long have I been awake? The time taunts me 3:16 “that who so ever shall believeth in me…”

Two months now have passed; I am defining time between before dad died and after dad died. Will I count time like this forever? Just one last chance to tell him I love him, that’s all I want. Just one last chance to tell him that Jesus loves him. I walk out to another office at work to ask a question, when I turn the corner displayed on dual screens in huge 10 inch letter reads 3:16 “…shall not perish but have everlasting life.” It hits me like a brick wall… All this time, he was trying to tell me, your dad is with me.

I sleep all night for the first time.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

2 things

There are 2 things that even after 16 years of marriage my husband and I will never agree on: napping and the thermostat.
Napping: My husband is a napper, he like to nap from time to time... I am NOT a napper, but over the years have accepted the notion that an occasional nap is something that he enjoys. The problem is, location, location, location... He want to fall asleep and nap in the middle of the living room, ok fine, but then everyone else in the family (including the kids) are supposed to tiptoe and whisper during the napping process. Then, if we speak too loud, he grumbles... GO TO THE BEDROOM! lock your self in, noone will bother you, noone will talk too loud, noone gets ice from the freezer in there, we don't let the dogs in and out of the house from there... but for some reason, that ruins the napping experience...
Thermostat: That man is always COLD! Yes, I said it right, HE is always COLD. I am always hot, and miserable, he is cold and his bones hurt... so he says. Do you think I am exgagerating? In the winter, I have compromised in keeping the thermostat at 74 degrees... yes 74. Me?? I would like it at 70, hubby would prefer it at 78, and I have caught him inching it there from time to time.

I don't see this as a point of conflict, I see it as a balance... because this past sunday, he fell asleep in my lap, and I was forced to slow down. I tend to make the house so cold that peopel are uncomfortable, he would keep it bathing suit temp, so we balance...
On things I am strict, he is lax and vise versa... I am so thankful for him and all the things we don't agree on.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Blessing Gathering #1

This gathering was #1 for a couple reasons... It was officially my very first gathering ever and ONE peson showed up. I was a little bummed, but it actually ended up being a nice evening. My neighbor stopped over, I told her it seemed she would be the ONLY one, and we proceeded to visit, I went through my presentation, worked out a few bugs and feel ready for the BIG one on saturday morning.  Then, not only did she place an order, she offered to do a book show and take it to work where it will be exposed to 30+ woman. When she told her work friends where she was going they all said... Ohhh what's Blessings Unlimited???  She said " I have no idea, but will find out!
As for my Saturday pary, I expect about a dozen people to show... I know what bugs I need to work out and am excited.
Have you checked it out?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Sorry I haven't written in a while...
Last Friday, the flood gate opened and I cried for HOURS... It was the first time I let myself cry since my dad died. I spent the weekend catching up on all teh house work that had been neglected from having guests the past 2 weekends. It started raining Monday and hasn't stopped yet.
Now I am fighting off a cold... yuck.

My first Blessings Unlimied Gathering is tomorrow... wish me luck!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Blessings Unlimited Announcement

It is offical.
I am an independent consultant for Blessings Unlimited.
Blessings Unlimited was founded in 2006 by DaySpring© Inc., the world's leading producer of Christian greeting cards and gifts.
The name Blessings Unlimited is based on this Scripture from John:
From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another. John 1:16 NIV
Blessings Unlimited is still not widely known, which means, I am the only consultant in East Tennessee. Finally a new product on the market!!!!
Check out my personal Blessings website, look through the catalog, and email me to set up your own gathering (party) September's hostess incentive is double rewards!!! There isn't a better time to schedule! You could decorate your home, or use all your free and 1/2 product to start your Christmas shopping!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

siblings - business - kids

Sooo... what's been happening? I am unsure of what i am gonna write about today so, bear with me as I babble along until I come up with something interesting...
My hubby's brother, his wife and 3 yr old boy are coming to visit today. I am surprised and excited. Surprised because I am always inviting them to come down and leave the inlaws behind, not that I don't love them, it would just be nice to hang out as siblings but never have in 6 yrs. Well, they called up and said "how about this weekend?" and we said "Great!"
I have about 15 different ideas on things we could do... I'll just have to wait until they get here to decide... my ideas are :
Take the whole family on a train ride through the mountians
Head out to Cade's Cove
Take the sister in law painting, or all 4 of us and let my girls babysit!
Have a cookout and invite a bunch of people...
Ok, so really 4 ideas...
Teen A is starting cheerleading which I think is great!
Preteen P (formally known as Little P) is going to play the flute in band... (I loved band, so excited)
And I am considering on venturing into a new business, I am fact gathering about a couple of them right now... soo no hints. But when I decide... it will be a grand anouncement.

Monday, August 22, 2011

BFF, Painting, MaryKay and no tears!

What an awesome weekend, and just what I needed.... Several weeks ago, my BFF planned to come from Ohio to Tenn to visit for a weekend... Due the the changing circumstances, we talked about postponing the weekend, I consuled hubby and he said "Have her come, you need it" He was SO right!
She has recently started selling Mary Kay, so first thing Saturday morning we had a MaryKay party which was alot of fun, and she did a fantasic job. I only wish I could've provided her with more sales!

Once that was finished we headed downtown to Knoxville's Market Square... It's a pedestrian area of entertainment, reasaurants and boutiques. It's also my favorite place in Knoxville.

Then we went to Sips and Strokes For a VERY reasonable price, you are given a 16 x 20 canvas, all the supplies possibly needed and a step by step walk through to creating a beautiful oil painting. It was an absolute blast! You can bring any beverage/snack of choice... the instructor was funny and every painting there looked different and beautiful all at the same time.

She left on Sunday morning and I spent the entire day in my nightgown watching movies and doing laundry. Hubby and I watched the movie Country Strong and I bawled at the end, I thought it was just heart wrenching.

I then realized that the day I spent with BFF on Saturday was the only day I haven't cried since dad died.

Friday, August 19, 2011


Yet another reason why I love my husband:

The day we returned to work after my dad passed one of hubby's co-workers approached him and said "Sorry to hear about your father-in-law... Did he leave you anything?"

My husband looked at him square in the eye and said "Yes. His daughter"

I can't even type that without tearing up, don't worry dad, I'm in good hands.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

My dad.

I am back home, and back to work. Everything regarding my dad's funeral went really well. Everything was beautiful and all 6 of us kids/step & half got along beautifully.

I feel like there is a piece of my heart missing. I cry all the time. I miss him so much.

I am finding out things that I never knew, that I am sure he found insignificant, like the fact that once a week he went to the local F.I.S.H. food pantry and bagged groceries and carried them to people's cars.

I am sure many of you are OVER hearing me grieve my dad, but you are just gonna have to suffer for a while... One of these days, I be back to my silly, sarcastic self.

I will leave you with this... a letter written to us by someone who knew my dad:

Please pass my sympathy along to Joe Owen's daughter.
I cannot express enough my fond feelings and memories of Joe and the calmness that he was able to bring my busy life while I was at Hill International. Joe was a truly a man that I respect for his professionalism as well as his true concern for others. On very stressful days Joe was able to spot this and knew the right thing to say or do to assist me thru these times.
Once on a day where I thought I was near the end of my rope, Joe said to me "wait right there, I have something to help you". He then left my office for a few minutes and returned with a plaque that had the serenity prayer on it. Joe advised me to read it whenever I felt that the stress to go on was overwhelming.
Well, it now hangs in my home office a forever reminder of this great man whom passed thru my life's journey.....never to be forgotten. I am sure there are many stories of how this wonderful man touched lives that his family never knew and only kept alive in the hearts he touched.
With heartfelt respect,
Joe M

Monday, August 15, 2011

Couponing Class

I am thinking of holding a little couponing class, get together... So far I've had 2 friends ask me to help them get organized and figure it all out.
So if you are in the S. Knoxville area, or within driving distance... would you want to come over and set up your coupon binder?
I am actually thinking about doing it tuesday night.
If you want to come, email me at (i"ll give you my address)
Bring the family, the men can watch tv, the kids can play... and us women (or men) can get our savings on!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


My dad lost his battle on earth yesterday. I am trying to rejoice in his arrival to the arms of our Lord, bu I really just want him here.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Prayer Request for my dad

Last month my dad was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. His health has been spiraling downward at a rapid pace because he has continued his unhealthy lifestyle. If he would change, the disease’s progression could slow down or stop.

Wednesday, August 10th at 11:30 he has another Doctor’s appt. His Dr is planning on explaining that he is NOT a “Dead Man Walking” as he proclaims. He does have options, there is help, and there are programs available.

I feel like this is could be the last opportunity for my dad to be rescued from this addiction. He is going to need to overwhelmingly feel the spirit of the Lord, and together, with your help, I believe we can do that.

I am asking all my Brothers and Sisters in Christ to take just 1-5 minutes (on Wednesday Aug 10th at 11:30) and pray with me for my dad. We may not be united physically, but we can be united spiritually. Please pray for his salvation, for a friend for him, for his heart to soften and hear the doctor's plea, for courage and strength to fight, for respect for his own life...


Sunday, August 7, 2011

Back to school... and Dad

EEK! My kids come home today! I know they had a blast in Florida the past 2 weeks with O'ma, and hubby and I had a great time reconnecting with each other, but oh I have missed them and and can't wait to have them home.

Went to a new church yesterday... we loved our old church, but it was so far away we couldn't get involved... So we started looking at the small community churches close to home. OF COURSE, there was a guest speaker there today... but I am looking forward to going back next Sunday.

It seems my dad is deteriorating quickly... He doesn't eat, he only drinks, he has lost a ton of weight and I am told he is very skinny, his belly is swollen, he sleeps 11-15 hrs a day and as of this past Thursday his eyes are showing signs of jaundice. He feels as though he is a "dead man walking" the damage is done and he has no options. He has a Doctor's appt on Thursday and the Dr. is once again going to try to explain that he DOES have an option, he HAS to stop drinking and there are programs and facilities to help him.

SO Thursday's post is going to be a prayer for my dad. For his salvation, for a friend for him, for his heart to soften and hear the doctor's plea, for courage and strength to fight, for respect for his own life...

What I am asking is for everyone who reads this, pray for my dad Thursday, email it to you prayer warriors, link it on your blog, call you best friend... He is going to need to overwhelmingly feel the spirit of the Lord, and together, with your help, I believe we can do that.

Thursday, August 4, 2011


It's thursday...

I've been in real estate class for 2 days

I am officially a REALTOR.

I am not prepared to write Couponing: Lesson 3

So I am going to share some pictures of the German Shepard we adopted from the animal shelter, Juliet.

I had some pictures of her now, all 70lbs of her, trying to wrestle a 10ft stick, but the internet bleeped as I was trying to upload those pics this morning, and then I had to run to work...

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Another Dad update

My brother is in Ohio on a family visiting vacation. He is the first one of us 3 kids to see dad since he got sick, since Dad is in Ohio, My brother lives in Virginia, my sister is in Florida and me of course in TN.
He was shocked to see the deterioration of my dad's health, he said his arms and legs are very skinny but his belly large swollen to the point that it looked hard. When my brother arrived at 11am, my dad was just waking up from bed, ate a half a crab cake and nothing else the entire time he was there (4-5 hrs). My dad was very emotional, believes he is dying, believes that he has no options, and believes that he is to blame for his illness. He kept telling my brother he has Liver Cancer, when we all know that it's cirrhosis... i think he just can't bring himself to say it.
Yesterday I received a txt from my brother stating that us 3 kids needed to have a conference call. Obviously regarding my dad, but what part... no idea.
Then I received a txt stating that he was going to see dad's dr tomorrow at 9:30 and what question did we have? Honestly, my only two questions are: Can you help him with the pain? How long do I have left with him?
I went to Al-Anon last night. I managed to introduce myself, but that was it. "my name's Lucky" and they said "Hi Lucky" I had a huge lump on my throat the entire meeting, eyes brimming with tears, I didn't say a word and as soon as the meeting was over, I RAN for my car and bawled. A few minutes later, i heard a tap tap on my window, one of the people from inside said "My first 6 weeks, I came to meeting didn't utter a word, and cried in my car afterwards. Keep coming back" Funny, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Couponing: Lesson 2

So... Did everyone have fun putting together your binder? Clipping your coupons, and organizing them? Well.... I DID!

The pencil pouch is a great place for scissers, calculator, and store coupons.

The pile is getting big!

Make sure you fold you coupons so that you can see the important information...

The next thing you need to know is... what IS a really good rock bottom price for something?

Click here for an excellent guideline... and put it in your binder.

Now if you heeded my warning, you didn't run to the store with your coupons yet...

If you DID, let me guess what happened....

Wisk laundry detergent for 6.99 with a 2.00 off coupon makes it $4.99 but the generic is only 3.99! ARGGHHHH Couponing is stupid!

Am I Right?

This is where patience comes in... and a change to your ways of shopping...

I had 2.00 off 1 bottle of Wisk laundry detergent coupons... and they sat in my binder, and sat and sat and sat until one fateful day when they were on sale for $3.35 per bottle less my 2.00 off coupon and wha-lah I paid 1.35 for a bottle of laundry detergent!

Now - THIS is when you do NOT buy one bottle, you buy as many as the store will allow with as many coupons as you possess, why? Because you USE laundry detergent, and in 2 weeks when you need another bottle, it will NOT be on sale and you WILL pay 5-7 dollars for it. If you buy several, then by the time your stock has gotten low, something else will be at a rock bottom price. Get it? I was able to buy 5 bottles of detergent for what someone would normally spend on one!

Your goal this week, do your regular shopping but find 3-5 totally amazing rock bottom deals and by enough of that product that will last you a few cycles. Then next week do the same, as time goes on and you start learning how and when to buy certian products... You will get more bang for your buck.

Helpful sources:

Friday, July 29, 2011

Couponing: Lesson 1

Ok Folks... Do you really wanna learn how to coupon?

Things you MUST have to get started...

One 3 ring binder
One set of baseball card holders, found at walmart with the pokemon/baseball cards.

There will be 4 coupon inserts in this Sunday's paper... Get MORE than ONE! If you are in a single house hold, at least buy 2, if you have a family of 4, buy 5.

Download these dividers to organize the coupons... You will spend the the MOST time setting up your binder the first time and then less and less there after. (if you happen to be of the Male persuasion, You can create something a little more masculine)

Sunday, right after church, and your belly is full, Cut clip and organize... One tip, take all the like coupons, (page one from each insert) Line then up and cut once... You follow me?

Ok, Once that is done, DO NOT run to the store yet... We will talk again on Monday. Have a great weekend!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Mom, Dad, Kids...

Somethings going on right now...
Talked to my Dad, asked how he was doing... "not great, I hurt all over, and am in a lot of pain". At the same time he is elusive about the cirrhosis, almost as though if he admits to it, then we will find out he drinks too much. I really think he doesn't think we know.
So hubby's upbringing is that of a story book, so I sent him a text (yes a text) asking if he had ever heard of al-anon, he replied, "WHO'S that?" sigh... I explained that it was a support group for family members of alcholics, and that I was thinking about going... I'm not sure he quite understands.
Funny thing is, I wouldn't have even told him if I didn't need to explain where I was going... Telling him that I wanted to go, took me weeks to get the courage to mention it. I also realized if that was that hard for me, I can't imagine how hard it would be for my dad to try AA.

Enough of that for now...

I broke my pinky toe Sunday, I WILL spare you pictures. I was reaching for something on the back of the kitchen counter, pulled my arm forward and knocked my hubby's foot log, 37lb mag lite flashlight on my toe. It was swollen and purple in 60 seconds. I still can't get shoes on and have been wearing flip flops to work... Really wish I had a pedicure recently!

My girls are in Florida with O'ma (my mom) she took them to the mall for some school shopping and texted me and asked
O'Ma - "What happened to my princesses? They want ugly clunky shoes"
Me - "The princess spell was broken when they hit puberty"
O'Ma - "That's why they kept the Disney princess locked in the tower for so long"

Haha YES! I just want to lock mine in the tower 1 week a month... Good Grief!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Hey ladies... One of my fellow bloggers is having an amazing giveaway!

It's an entire set of goodies... If you comment, or follow her (she is trying to reach 100) you will be entered to win. Hurry up, you only have a few days left!

Click here to enter.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Monday, July 25, 2011

I'm Back!!!

I was on vacation last week, I should have told you guys... but on top of getting ready for vacation, my in-laws blessed me with their presence up until the DAY WE LEFT! I was getting work stuff ready and still digesting the news about my dad's health.

Enjoy some vacation photos... It's Monday, my first day back and I am running behind...

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Worthy enough?

In January 1984, as my parents were tucking me into bed, they announced that they were getting a divorce. It was the first time I saw my dad cry. The next day it was the first time I realized that not all dad's drink.
In April 1984 my mom was remarried and we moved to a new town.
In July 1984, Not to be outdone by my mom, my dad remarried and moved his new family into my old house.
In Septemeber I entered the middle school, and on top of going through the normal pains of adolsence, I was the first person I ever heard of who's parents got divorced and remarried, and had step-parent, step-siblings, new grandparents and aunt and uncles... the whole thing was quite confusing.
I received a flyer to sign up for big brother/big sister... OH how I wanted someone to talk to, other than my m - o - m. I mean really, what could she POSSIBLY understand??? Unfornatually, it required a parents permission to sign up. When I mentioned it, my mom was appalled! I was told my life was not SO BAD... there are alot of people out there with it much worse than you... I can't say that I disagreed, but it didn't make the hurt I was going through any less. I believed that I could be taking the place of someone who "really" needed it.
Fast Forward 7 yrs...
My step dad was drinking and driving and killed in a car accident.
Fast Forward 20 yrs...
I have looked up alanon many times over the years, but could never get myself to actually go... The same feelings from 1984 emerged, that i didn't have it AS bad as some, and my grief/saddness wasn't worthy of attending.
The desire to connect and attend is stronger then it's ever been. I have looked up meetings, mapquested the locations, checked my schedule... but, what if I show up, share my story/grief/experience and the others, the ones who REALLY need it look at me and say... "That's it? That's all you got? Please sister, you don't know HOW good you had it" and once again my feelings are dismissed as invalid.

Monday, July 11, 2011


Just to let you know, I finally heard from my friend in Qatar... She has had no technology access, and when she finally got email access, she had a million to go through... So she is there, safe and sound...

Just when I though I could breathe easier about that... I got a sucker punch to the gut.
Juy 1st - May dad called, he wanted to tell me that he had a bunch of tests and surgery/procedure done the week before. He wasn't going to tell me anything until he got the results of the test, but my step-mom slipped and mentioned something to my brother. He knew I'd be upset if I heard second-hand (and he was right) so he wanted to let me know that it took place, but he was not going to tell me what he had done, not until the results came back in another week. Since he's 64, I'm thinking prostate...
July 8th - I waited all day for his call, at 5pm on my wayto show a house I decide to call. He won't tell me, and hands the phone off to my step-mom. He has cirrhosis of the liver. He is already coughing up blood, and...
...and unless he makes and extreme lifestyle change, the disease will progress very quickly.
I can assure you he has no plans to make any changes, and more than anything in the world, what breaks my heart more than anything...I just wish he valued his life as much as I value his life.

Thursday, July 7, 2011


I'm not really prepared for 2 posts in a row...

Since yesterday's post was "reflective" today will be not so deep.

My friend moved to Doha, Qatar, her flight left on July 4th, and I have yet to hear from her. All I want is a simple "Yes we landed" "yes we arrived safely" SOMETHING!

We haven't lived near each other in years, but we have always had the same schedule, so we talked in the morning during our commute to work at least 3 times a week.

Now she is 7 hours ahead of us, so at 7am, when I am driving to work, it is 2pm there and she'll be working, at 5pm when I am driving home it will be midnight her time.

I miss her more than she knows. Sigh.

Ok ok ok, I'm whining...

My babies come home from Ohio on Sunday, I am excited to see them... In fact, they even made me laugh today...
It seems Little P left her facebook open, so Teen A updated her status to " I like poop" Several hours and tons of strange comments later Little P Wrote "Sister, Im a gonna kill you!"

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Long weekends...

I completely missed my monday post, and then let tuesday slip through my fingers as well. So you get to hear from me today and (hopefully) again tomorrow! Yipee!

So... I only had ONE person respond to my "What's the most amazing thing you ever saw?" question. Wow... Did you read what she wrote in the comments? You should.

I have seen some amazing sights in my life, historic buildings, natural wonders, and the birth of my babies. But while I was thinking about my own question, it came to this... What have I had an opportunity to see that most others have not. The answer then became clear.

2003, I worked at Kennedy Space Center, I watched my first Shuttle Launch from work, the closest you can get... It was spectacular. Unfornatually that same shuttle never returned. Months and months after the recovery and investigation, employees were given an opportunity few people could imagine. You see, each piece of the shuttle was returned to KSC and placed in a warehouse where a grid was taped out on the floor, each piece was retured to it's original location within the grid. We got to tour the wreckage. It was very emotional.

As you are walking around the grid of wreckage, there are notes to explain what you are looking at, and then as I came around a corner, I saw something that I will never forget, and brought me to tears. They displayed the whiteboard where the children and spouses wrote notes to their loved ones. I can't remember the specific words, but there was adult handwriting to "Be Safe" and childrens handwriting "I'll miss you daddy"

The sight of the Shuttle Columbia left me speechless, the haunting words of the surviving family members brought me to tears.

- Rick D. Husband - Commander
- William C. McCool - Pilot
- Michael P. Anderson
- David M. Brown
- Kalpana Chawla
- Laurel Clark
- Ilan Ramon - first Israeli in space

Thursday, June 30, 2011


What is the most amazing thing you ever saw?

Was it one of nature?

Was it of the miracle of life?

Was it a historical event?

Share with me your stories... I want to know, What is the most amazing thing you ever saw?

P.S. Irrational fear #4 - I have crazy wicked allergies and often can NOT breathe even the slightest bit through my nose. So, my crazy fear... is that some crazy maniac, will gag me, assuming that I'd be able to breathe through my nose and then I'll suffocate accidentaly. Yea, I'm nuts, I know.

Monday, June 27, 2011

A Neeewwww Car!

Well, new to me anyways...
If you've been reading a while, you'll know that I have had a love/hate relationship with my car for some time. On the love side, it's paid off. On the hate side, it's a 2 door and a whole laundry list of cosmetic and mechanicial "hick-ups" and 170K miles.
So one of my very best friends is moving to Qatar, yes, quite literally half way around the world. She had to sell her car, and since I really needed one, she offered it to me at an incredible price. She currently lives 5.5 hrs away, so this weekend we both drove 2.5 hrs and met half way to pick up the car... I probably won't see her again for at least 3 yrs.
Oh ohohohh... Sorry, it's a 2005 Kia Sorento, silver, less than 100K miles and less than 5K dollars...

Yesterday I went to another friends house to help her organize... she has a cat, which I am allergic too, I took a claritan and headed over... 3 hrs later, I am an absolute allergic mess. Turns out I am NOT allergic to cats, I am HIGHLY allergic to cats... (my nose is still running 12 hrs later)

Thursday, June 23, 2011


It's thursday already???

Well Tuesday night we had a major wind storm come through, knocked our power out at 8:30pm, we set our cell phone alarms, plugged them in and wished for the best.
When we awoke the next morning, still no power.
Hubby and I went off to work when hubby's friend called to say that his salt water fish were dying. Hubby has a salt water tank as well, and he was honestly having a panic attack about his tank. For a moment, I was worried about the fridge and freezer, but really... there is more $ in the tank than in food.
Luckily Hubby's dad was in town, he went to Home Depot and rented a generator. We lost 2 fish and a shrimp... Could've been worse.

I have been working on remodeling a house... which means... I have a valid excuse to wear my hot pink tool belt!!!!!

My babies leave today for Ohio, going to visit grandparents and cousins and hopefully have an absolute blast.

Gotta get ready for work... Have a fantastic day!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Contract writing

It is Sunday night, and I thought of roughly 437 interesting things to write about and share with you monday morning... I currently can remember zero of them...

Why? Probably because I made a deadline for myself, from invisible to visible contract to you... If I don't have something for you Monday morning, you won't come back on thursday.
So I found out today/yesterday that my MIL is coming tuesday and taking the kids back to Ohio for a couple weeks, as she does every summer...

Why is this one stressing me out? For one, the girls just returned from camp and I have roughly 37 loads of laundry to do, I have been working like crazy, saturdays too which means my own house has been neglected, and after the Ohio visit my MIL wants to fly the kids to florida and meet hubby and I there when we take our family vacation. She keeps pushing and pushing to fly there verse home here in TN, hubby is too polite to explain that we are taking a family vacation, just the 4 of us. Even my mom, who lives in Florida, will be out of town. I think it would be easier to just tell her the truth...

Ok I have a question for you...
When company is coming... not company but say, your best friend, does that mean you have to spring clean, to an excessive dregree to make them feel special?
Or if you are the BFF do you expect your BFF to do that? Do you want to feel like that is necessary for you to come visit?
Yes... of course this stems from an event.

It would seem that a couple summers ago when my cousin came through there was a ramdom apple core that one of my kids left somewhere... Well, this "random" example has been used to explain to me how a guest should feel special.
I look at this completely different, if my cousin feels as though every thing needs to be perfect, then I feel like a "company" or a guest... an unwanted guest.

I like my house tidy and clean, but there is just gonna be an apple core around once in a while, we live here. The sheets are clean, rugs swept, and toilets scrubbed... but there is also a dish in the sink, shoes in the living room floor, and a hamper full of clothes.

So do you forgo having a friend over if the house isn't perfect or do you invite them in despite the condition?

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Invisible contract

I was reading a blog about successful blogging... tee hee.. Anyways, the point of the article was the "invisible contract". That you may or may not know it, but as you develop a pattern of posting, your readers begin to depend on that pattern, or invisible contract. You may not even know you have a contract until you break it.
This past year, has been an adventure, my posting sporatic and my readers vanished... I am going to make a visable contract with you to post every Monday and Thursday. Yea, I know it's only twice a week, but I need to get back in the rythmn... It very well could increase in time, who knows.
Well there you have it, come back on Monday.

I'll leave you with this:
Irrational fear #3 - Dehydration. I have roughly 3 glasses of water around the house, in my car and at my office at all times... I'm like the little girl from the movie "Signs"

Anyone else have a ridiculous fear/quirk they want to share? Please, so I don't feel SO silly alone!

Have a fantastic weekend!

Lucky Wife

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Time - Irrational Fears - Other randomness

Let's start with something ridiculous...
My irrational fears.
The biggest one is that I will be wearing the wrong shoes for a tragic event... example: My car breaks down on a dark county road and a hooked killer comes to the door and I need to RUN! I can assure you I will have on flip flops, and they will the the source of my demise.
The next one? That I will undoubtly have on the most uncorfortable/elastic lacking/wedgie giving panties I own when I am shipwrecked/airplane crashes on a deserted island.

I consider my time to be valuable, if not to you, it is certainly valuable to me. SO. When we make plans to do something at 7:30, and you find at 5:30 your propane tank is empty, and then go to the store to swap it, and then decide to get groceries while you are there, and only then start cooking dinner for your family at 7:15... Don't wait until 8:30 to finally call me and say you can't go. You knew by 6 o'clock you weren't coming. Grrrrr.....

Other randomness - My babies are at church camp and hubby and I are paralyzed with excitement to have a couple nights to ourselves!
Also, I just bought a Colgate 360 toothbrush and LOVE IT! The tongue cleaner tickles my mouth while I brush my teeth. It's totally awesome.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

feeling a little lost

Do you ever feel like a lamb that's wondered so far from the flock, that you just aren't sure how to work your way back in?

Hubby and I are struggling with our church/attendance/functions... We LOVE LOVE LOVE our pastor, he is absolutely incredible, straight forward, like it or not, humorous... all around fantastic.

The problem? That accessability of any functions other than sunday morning service. Children's/Teens/Small Group starts at 5:45 on Wednesdays. I work until 5pm, then drive 40 minutes to home, and then another 25 Minutes back to the church. Assuming that traffic is a dream, that I don't need to eat, and my children are standing on the porch ready to jump in the car, we will be, at a BARE minimum 20 minutes late.

This was all FINE when I worked part time, but since I began full time work, I have had to quit small group and the kids had to quit wednesday church... then that small wedge has been driven even deeper by interferring with sunday service attendance...


I don't like feeling disconnected like this... It just seems that everyone waits around for me to make a stand/decision but then once i do, it's challenged as well.


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Finally June!

The inlaws are gone, the parties are over and school is out!

Can I get a A-Men!

On the other hand, now that I have finally had a chance to breathe, I have noticed that my garden is a joke, the weeds have out numbered the flowers and I never even got around to planting some pretty annuals this year...

The north side of the house looks grungy, I want to paint my shutters and front door, and I def need to clean out my closet! Yikes.

My oldest daughter is becoming a total drama queen which difficult, I want her to share with me, but the over exaggerated extreame-ness of each situation is challenging.

My baby is not much of a baby anymore, heading to middle school in the fall. I am noticing quite a difference in her maturity lately (for the better)

That's about all, other than, did I tell you hubby and I celebrated 16 years of marriage the other day? I am proud of that accomplishment, being all the mountian tops we have climbed and valleys we have drudged through...

til next time...

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Are you out of Gravy????

So as you may or not know I have been couponing... I feel like it has been hugely successful being that currently I am spending a hair less then normal, but have WAY more supplies than normal.

So I was telling my in-laws about my success, to which they were all "ohh" and "ahhh", "clever girl"!

Then yesterday, while I was at work, my MIL kindly prepared dinner for the family. When I unsuspectingly arrived home, I was surprise attacked by the MILwith "ARE YOU OUT OF GRAVY? I looked and looked for gravy, in the pantry and in your stash, and I couldn't find GRAVY anywhere!" when FIL piped in "She didn't have a coupon for gravy! If there is no coupon you don't get to eat GRAVY!"


You would think I forgot to buy a supply of oxygen to keep the children alive for the next week.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


Japanese Birthday
that is my daughter's request
let the stress begin

Monday, May 16, 2011

Wake me up when May ends...

I have been meaning to get back here and share my couponing tips and successes... but May totally blows. I should love this month because so many special things happen in May, but for that same reason, I am totally exhausted. Let me show you..

1 - Hubby birthday
2 - Girl Scouts
3 - Essay Award Dinner
4 - Claim adjuster to fix truck
5 - Cook desserts to Teachers
6 - Teacher appreciation Lunch
7 - PTO Yardsale
8 - Mother's Day
9 - Girl Scouts/My Birthday
10 - Choir Concert
11 - Shop for dress for "big meeting"
12 - Big meeting - Middle School open house
13 - Wash Clothes and pack for over night trip
14 - Leave for Georgia 5.5 hr drive
15 - Return home 5.5 hr drive
16 - Girl Scouts
17 - Band Concert
18 - Clean house
19 - In Laws arrive
20 - Little P's birthday
21 - Friends Birthday party
22 - Little P's Birthday party
23 - ??? Free day? Can't be...
24 - 5th grade party, awards ceremony
25 - last day of school
26-27 - Free
28 - 16th wedding anniversary
29 - ?
30 - Memoral Day
31 - Dr appt.

Whew I am exhausted!!!

Thursday, May 5, 2011


I am sure you have all heard of the Extreme Couponing show by now... I am NOT an extreme couponer, as I do have a full time job but with and hour or two spent on sunday afternoon clipping and organizing, I am saving on average 25% of my cost, and buying extra at the same time.
My first shopping trip total was 337.00 - 87.00 coupons = 250.00 total
My second shopping trip (2 1/2 weeks later) total was 223.00 - 52.00 coupons = 171.00 total

I carry around my reciepts and coupon binder like trophies! Bahaha

I mention how much time span there was to show you that I didn't buy all razors and deodrant. Also, not everything I bought was on sale. I stocked up on good deals, and bought the minimun of full price items as possible...

My goal? I'd like to be able to create a nice "stock pile" and then be able to start helping others, women's shelters, homeless shelters, diaster relief...

Anyone else staring to coupon? I can reccommed some good sites for beginners

Monday, May 2, 2011

I'm just gonna say it...

Regardless of how evil someone may be, I still don't feel comfortable in rejoicing over their death.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Open Mouth...

Insert Foot.

Hubby's birthday is coming up... His birthday ALWAYS catches us off guard because it's on the 1st of the month, so by the time you flip your calendar... you're too late.

Hubby is feeling a little distraught about his birthday this year, as he will be turning 39, in preperation of that, I texted his mom and said "Not that I think you'd forget, but Hubby's b-day is Sunday"

She replied that she had NOT forgotten, and...

Wait, let me interject that we had just received a box of easter goodies with cute lunch sacks for me and the girls, some chocolate for hubby... He was joking about ALWAY getting the shaft when it came to gifts...

... the even though his sister made the chocolate egg, it was really from her! That she isn't mad the we didn't send her anything...

At this point, i told her that I had no idea what she was talking about, and would talk to her later...

This is exactaly why I don't call.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

No Space

This is only a test.... If it were a real emergency, instructions would follow... Please forgive my last couple posts... For some reason all of my spacing is removed at publishing, making it unbearable to read... I do not know how to corect this problem, but will try. Bleeeppp - This is only a test....

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Friendship formula

Does friensdship require a certain number of calls/texts/emails/stupid forwards per month to mantain it's defination? I never thought it did... I have BFF's that I can go months with out talking to and then pick up the phone and chat as though not a moment has passed. I have friends that I email, some that I call, some that I text and some are simply sustained by playing "Words with Friends" and talking smack to each other. Of course those friendships weren't forced, nor did they happen over night, they took years of give and take. Oh there were lots of other people that came acroos my path, but not everyone is destined to be a lifer, you know? I have "phased out" friendships just as I am sure someone has phased me out too. The difficult thing I am facing now, is someone who after a short period of time, and of an odd circumstance (the new girlfriend of our favorite couple who are now divorcing) wants not only to be my BFF, but without any effort on her part and assuming I will choose between the ex-wife and her. (that may not be entirely true, but I do feel pulled) She sent me a CRAZY long email the other day of 95% rambling and 5% wanting to know exactally where she stood in my "friends" line... How do you answer a question like that? Let me rephrase, how do you answer a question like that without hurting their feeling AND without lying? I told her that it wasn't awkard that our favorite couple has a new girlfriend, what is awkard is that it's as though he brought in a new quarterback and we are all just suppoed to pretend we didn't notice and nothing changed. The reality is, it's a new team, with a whole new dynamic... and even if the quarterbacks are equally skilled that doesn't mean that the team will be equally successful. Only I was super sick, with a fever and was a bit more abrupt... she never responded.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Fear is the path to the dark side.

In 5th grade students are required to write an essay. They are allowed to choose a "maxim" which is a list of 70 different quotes, or words of wisdom. Included are everything from Abe Lincoln to Confucious to Homer Simpson. Here is my 10 yr old, Little P's maxim and essay... Prepare to be blown away, it's deep. Maxim: "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." Yoda, in Star Wars: the Phantom Menace When I heard the phrase “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” I thought how my own fear has lead to hate. Fear is the path to the dark side. When I think of this, I thought of when we have free time and I sit in the dark room and just think about how my friends life is way more exciting, while I am afraid to try something new, get it wrong and then teased. At least they always have something to do all the time while I just sit on a computer. Fear leads to anger. When I feel afraid I take it out on everyone because I don’t want people to know I’m afraid, so I become angry. I use my anger to hide my fear. I’ve always been the toughest girl and I don’t want that to change. Anger leads to hate. I remember when I am really mad at someone I say that I hate them and I know at least everyone, at least once has said they hate their parents. Hate leads to suffering. Now that my fear as lead to hate, I am suffering alone because no one wants to be around someone who hates everything. This makes me realize that if I keep living my life like this I will end up with no friends and no one will like me. My fear is keeping me away from reality. I really want to change my life and it’s gonna happen soon. I just hope that I don’t get too far into my sadness and stop.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Insurance, can't live with it, can't live with out it

So... I may have mentioned once or twice or 3,482 times that we were robbed last year THREE times... No, I haven't mentioned it? Hmmm, Could have sworn that came up in a conversation or two... Anyways... friday, when I can come from work and was going through the mail, I noticed that our annual home owners renewal envelope seemed a little, shall we say, thin. Thin as a college rejection letter... you know the one, thick package means they want you, thin envelope means "We regret to inform you..." Sorry, got a little side tracked there... I open the letter and it says they are not renewing out policy due to "Risk Characteristics and increased exposure to Loss" Well ain't that a kick in the ribs!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

for who's glorification?

I read something today... Something profound. It was from a Christian Fiction book I was reading... character A was commenting on Character B's huge home and abundant blessing...
Character B said, all their blessings were for God's glory, not their own. The home was used by youth fellowship, church gathering... all to glorify God.

So I asked myself... that ridiculous prayer I prayed to __________ (win the lottery, get a raise, get a new car, magically lose weight, make my children succeed...) all of which were not answered, I wondered to myself...

Did I ask for these things as a mean to glorify God, or myself?

Well, that question was simple to answer, it was for myself, I shamefully confess. I didn't ask for a better vehicle so that I could pick up extra kids for youth group. I want a nicer car than the one I have.

I didn't ask to lose weight to be healthier and more fit to participate in more activities, I simply wanted to be prettier.

I didn't ask to win the lottery to build an orphanage for children, I just didn't want to have to worry about finances anymore.

It's time to make over my prayers...