Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I should write...

Last week I received an e-mail from a new member in our Small Group at church. She is new to the area, (I know how that feels) a new Christian (again, I can totally relate) and feeling really inadequate in our group (totally know that feeling too). So I composed a nice e-mail, which I will share in a moment, but before I sent it I called my SG leader to make sure what I wrote was "ok". This person seems fragile right now, and my honesty can come off harsh at times... Some people love me for this, others, not so much.

Ok here is the initial e-mail I received all names have been removed to protect the innocent. It's long so I am going to edit it a bit..k?

I have something that I have attached to my desk that is good for me to read each morning, night or whatever. I am going to send it to you, Anyway, it is this...

Good Morning
I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems.
Please remember that I do not need your help.
If the devil happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle,
DO NOT attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFJTD (something for Jesus to do) box.
It will be addressed in MY time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, DO NOT hold on to it or attempt to remove it. Holding on or removal will delay the resolution of your problem.

LuckyWife, it's me again, we have a SFJTD box and it may sound silly but my whole family uses it, even my children, and sometimes just having it reminds us that God is in control and we just have to give it to Him. anyway, I know that I am not near where the rest of you are, and this may seem imature to the rest of you, but I just thought I would share some of what I am learning, I am really sorry I don't have the guts to speak in group. I am not sure I will stay, I think I may be in a whole different place than the rest of you, but anyway, thanks for listening to me at times and I think you are a really neat and sweet person. I will still read the next book and I will make sure to pay you for it, but please keep me in your prayer, I thought is was kind of neat, you got my card this week, I was actually thinking about you when I wrote it, I knew if anyone understood some of what I am going through it would be you. Just think though, mine are living with me permanently until, who knows, please pray. and thanks again.

So my reply:

Hi Small Group Friend,
I love that letter, I OFTEN need reminded of just that, I am not in control, and I need to let go of things so that Jesus can take care of it. The only problem with a SFJTD box at my house is that I would be tempted to read everything my kids write and then try and "help" Jesus by taking care of them myself, lol.

Wether you speak up or not, I would hate to see you leave the group, what makes our group so special is the very fact that everyone there is in a different place in their walk with the Lord. Imagine, a group of woman, in the same place, with the same knowledge... How would they grow? If they strayed, there would be no one with more experience, to guide them. And as they grow, they then woudl be given the opportunity to help someone else grow.

THink of it like this... Six woman all standing on a ledge of a mountian. Do you all reach for the next step at the exact same time? What if that next step was a tricky one? You all would slip and fall together.
Or six woman all standing on a ledge together, one person has been there before, and knows where the best step is... She can guide you and then you can help the next person to come along.

If you aren't comfortable in our group, I understand and take no offense, but consider that you might be exactally where you are meant to be.

Love Lucky Wife

Ok, yes, this is getting long, but the POINT of this story, YES I have one, was that my SG leader, the person I read this too before I hit the send button, she said, I should "write or something, like one of those on-line things" A blog? I asked, yeah, she said, I think that's what they are called...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Ugly Truth

Height 5'9"
Weight 194 lbs
BMI 28.6 (over 25 is overweight, over 30 is obese)


So this morning I drug my sorry (extra large) hiney outta bed and walked up and down my drive way twice... Yeah, I know whoop de doo, but it's a long driveway, at least 2/10 of a mile, and it's up a hill. It was 5:30 am, pitch black, and surrounded by scary creepy forest trees and my sorry excuse for a guard dog had to be bribed to go with me... So I walked down the hill, when I got to the bottom , my dog took off and left me in the dark, I jogged up the hill, I looked up and saw a shooting star. Woo hoo... That was cool. Then, feeling slightly empowered, I went another go, walked down the hill, got totally creeped out and ran back up. Then sucked air for at least 4-5 minutes before I could compose myself and get in the shower...

It's a start... BTW- Due to last years illness, and possible depression I am about 22 pounds heavier than my 15 yr average at 172... I just want to see 172 again... That's all.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Full Pout Mode.

I am feeling pouty today… I believe this could be HIGHLY induced by the roller coasters of hormones raging through my body my "cycle". If you don't care to read along and listen to me whine like a spoiled snot nosed snob, then here is your warning to get out.

So Hubby and I cleaned out our closet Saturday, we have a huge closet that also doubles as the "catch all". In this cleaning out process, I also ditched any clothing that I hadn't worn in the past year (ok I maybe kept 3 things that I couldn't part with yet, but you get the picture) So there is currently a pile about 4x4 ft square and at least 4 ft high of clothes and shoes that were discarded by me and hubby.

On to the pouty part, I own exactly 3 pairs of dress pants (I work in an office 5 days a week, do the math) Only one dress shirt does not have either a stain or hole in it. The holes are from my idiot dog precious canine greeting me when I come home, poking an unnoticeable claw through my shirt only to be fully exposed after it has been washed and dried. Yes I scolded, the dog for jumping up on me only to have hubby come home 30 min later in his grungy work clothes and encourage the dog to jump up on him. Ugh.

Then I found the offer letter to Hubby from the company that he works for, the one offering him a nice comfortable salary to up and move to Tennessee… the same one that they retracted 10 minutes after we pulled into the driveway of our new home (IN TENNESSEE). It makes me angry that hubby feels like he isn't providing, when at the same time out of 1000 employees only 120 are left, 120 that include him. I am grateful for employment, period. So I guess I should quit pouting, huh.

What else? Well my 12 yr old car needs fixed, shocking, right? There is NO money for that, but instead I spend a few dollars every couple days putting more oil in… yea, oil leak. And I leaky tire, and I broke the cup holder this morning, my seat doesn't move forward anymore.

Have I mentioned lately that I'm fat? Fatter? More plump than my body has been used to other than two pregnancies, 10 and 12 years ago? Every night I lie in bed and think, Tomorrow I am just gonna get dressed and go outside and walk up and down the drive way a couple times. (It's really long and down a hill…) Then the next morning I wake, and drag my lifeless (fat) body to the kitchen for that cup of joe and then the thought of lugging my body outside, in the cold… well that thought just dissipates into thin air.

I will have the exact same thought tonight when I am lying in bed.

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Friday, November 13, 2009

A Family Gift...

Hubby pulled me aside last night and said that he'd been thinking... Maybe this year instead of buying each other a gift for christmas, we could purchase something together and we want.

We have done this in that past and I thought it was a grand idea... I was dreaming of :
New Couches!

New Bedroom Suit!
New Dishes!

He was dreaming of :
A laptop :-(
This may be harder than I thought.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

It doesn't fit!!!

Preteen A asked me to make her an icecream cake... I found a way to make it on line that looked super duper easy...

First bake two round cakes (from a box mix, duh!) like normal and then put a 1/2 gallon of softened ice cream in a spring form pan (perferably the same size) and let the ice cream harden overnight
When you are ready to assemble, flatten your cake, unless you are betty crocker herself and it doesn't have a big dome on top. (I use thread or dental floss)

Pull out the flapjack of ice cream from the freezer and it will magically pop off the base of the pan, seriously I promise.

Put the second cake on top and...

I did use 2 jars of icing to seal in the ice cream...

It was completely iced and i had 3 hrs until the party, I turned to place the cake in the freezer and .... Clunk. The plate hit the sides of my side by side fridge/freezer.


So I called my neighbor who wasn't home but her husband was, she said I could place the cake in her freezer and she'd call the husband... So I ran to the car and drove down the driveway with my left hand, cell phone in my lap, and cake in my right hand balanced like a waitress bringing drinks to a table. When all of a sudden I hear "Hello, hello.. Are you there" It's my MOM! I butt dialed her!
What my mom doesn't realize is that I had lost my voice for being sick that whole week, so when I picked up the phone and cradeled is under my chin I replied with a voice of a 90 yr old chain smoker, who had all their teeth pulled and had a sore throat...
Lucky - Mom, I can't talk, I gotta go.
Mom - Are you ok, What's wrong.
Lucky - I lost my voice I gotta go mom!
Mom - Are you sure your ok?
Lucky - Yes, I butt dialed, I'll call you back, I gotta go.
When I arrived at my neighbors, the fence across the drive was still locked (I live in the country remember?) So I parked my car at the end of the drive and walked up the quarter mile drive cake in hand... all the while praying that he asks first who is there before he shoots. This was a serious, valid concern!
I bang on the door, yelling "It's me, Lucky! You there, It's just me, Lucky! Don't shoot!"
Relief, his wife JUST got ahold of him and he opened the door.
When I called my mom back she was so worried that I was in the mist of a crying fit, or something, I'm lucky she hadn't dialed 911!
This was all that was left, it was really good and everyone loved it. Just make sure you have freezer room BEFORE you make it.

Friday, November 6, 2009

So lately...

I have noticed that when my mom has been sending me e-mails, she is using a huge font. They appear and I almost feel as though she is yelling at me, but I think it is just so that she can see what she wrote without using her glasses. I am an evil child at times so I do the opposite... our e-mails look like this:

Mom - Did Pre-teen get the birthday package I sent her?
Me - Yes, got it in the mail today.

I wonder if she is running off to CVS to grab the higher voltage reading glasses yet? Tee Hee

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Preteen A turns Twelve

Look at that face...

And this one on vacation?

When did it become this face?

Happy Birthday Preteen A...
Gosh you are georgous...
Better load the shotgun.

Monday, November 2, 2009

A Pain in the Arse...

Figuratively and Literally.

My husband's brother and wife came to visit... And hubby's mom and dad as well... Why do you care? Well you probably don't really except that my sister in law and mother in law are in a bit of a tiff with each other... They each claim not to be mad at the other but before our meal, MIL began to eat and I asked "Did you pray for everyone?" She replied "I prayed for myself the rest of you can die" Wow, Great example MIL, what a good Christian spirit there... And you wonder why Sister in law wants NOTHING to do it (Chistianity that is)
Sister in law locked her self in a bedroom to hide... don't really blame her there...
We went trick or treating, in the rain, and on a hay ride, in the POURING rain, and now my body aches, I have a sore throat... and for the literal part of my title, I think I have Hemmroids... Sorry was that TMI? I am dying here! Preperation H works alot better on my puffy eyes than it seems to be doing on its intended purpose.

Insert pouting face and tears.

ps - No my MIL does not live with us or even near us, it's just that she flies for free and "visits" WAY TO OFTEN!