Monday, May 21, 2012

You want to hear my testimony?

Well, I'm not ready to tell you...

Not yet.

Wanna know why?

I feel (sometimes) like the only reason some people want to hear my testimony is so they can hear about the most awful, shameful things I have done, weigh themselves against that, and then judge me for it.

I mean, let's face it, no one's testimony include a somewhat shameful moment, that was kinda bad. It involves that absolute lowest of low's that you have ever been in.

So if a situation presents itself, in which I think my story could benefit you, I will share it. If you're just that nibby nosey "church lady" then you may get the 4 sentence summary of a 400 page novel. :)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


I had my first mammogram yesterday and I will say it was uncomfortable, but not unbearable. They then did a ultrasound and found that I have several cysts on both breasts. I have been instructed to take 400mg of Vitamin E, and if the giant cyst (the one I found) doesn't go down within 2 months, to call back to have it drained.
The Dr said I would be a great candidate for an MRI considering the density of my breasts, the family history on my maternal & paternal side, and the considerable amount of cysts I already have, but that fate is in the hands of my insurance company.
That made me recall something I had read about Christina Applegate, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at 36, of which was found by an MRI. She was appalled that early detection resources were not available to all women, like an MRI... Her story never really hit home until now.
Hubby was right, you could say I won the lottery yesterday, and I need to start taking better care of myself. I know that cancer doesn't discriminate, but I don't want to encourage it either.
I need to take a stand for myself, for my health, my future and be an example to my daughters.

Monday, May 14, 2012


Today is the big day. I go not only for my first mammogram, but a diagnostic evaluation. Do you realize I just turned 37 on Wednesday? I am not post menopausal! This isn't supposed to be happening!

I am nervous, but had my mini melt down last week, now I just want the results so I can Move On!

I did have a nice weekend, flew to Florida to watch my sister get married. I was a small intimate wedding and super enjoyable.

I will keep you updated... appt is at 3:00 pm today.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

My Humps

3 weeks ago I was getting out of the shower and saw a towel fuzzy on my R breast... I went to brush the fuzz off and I felt something weird. So I felt my breast again, than I felt my left breast to see if it felt the same way. It did not. I stood in the bathroom for at least 15 minutes feeling, poking, prodding trying to digest what in the world I was feeling. 
When I finally emerged from the bathroom, I said to Hubby "I need you to feel my breasts" I got the strangest look from him, but he complied. "Do you feel it?" He looked at me and said  "Your making a Dr appt first thing tomorrow morning" I didn't disagree.
That next morning, I called an OBGYN and made an appt for and annual check up and mentioned my recent discovery. First available appt was in 2 weeks. Everyday leading up to my appt I would wake up and check to see if the lump was still there. Then I'd check again, and again and again everyday. About 30 times a day.

Appt Day! Finally! I was hoping I'd go in, and the Dr would say "Oh That? Silly girl, that's just a "whatever" no need to worry" Instead she said "I am scheduling you for a diagnosgtic mammogram" and I have to wait another 2 weeks. This time, time is not passing by quickly. I am completely freaking myself out, going on to web md and I need to STAY AWAY from those sites.

To add to the torture I have been VERY selective as to who I've told about this. Because, my little sister is getting married this weekend, I don't want any of her much deserved attention diverted away from her. I figure, I don't know anything yet, so if I'm fine then there is no sense in worrying everyone, and if it is something... then we will have plenty of time to worry after the wedding.
My appt is monday, May 14th at 3pm - feel free to send up prayers for my health.