Wednesday, February 25, 2009

To facebook or not to facebook, that is the question.

I have been receiving alot of peer pressure lately to create a facebook page (michele) The problem is that I am afraid that my internet addiction may be just one social network away from needing a 12 step program. I have blogger, msn spaces/e-mail, myspace, cafemom (which I should delete, haven't used it in forever) and even (also, could delete that one as well)

Am I just resistant to change? I mean I didn't have a myspace until a GOOD couple years after it was out. I resisted the boot cut jeans 10 years ago and now that I have fully embraced their wonderfulness, they want to bring in "skinny jeans" Come on? NOBODY looks good in skinny jeans, not even skinny girls and especially not boys - oh don't even get me started on that trend!

I had finally grown out my bangs only to have bangs be "in" again and have to cut them.

I suppose this is what I get for making fun of my supervisor with her mullet and clothing that reminded me of the band Heart. You know Ann and Nancy Wilson... Barracuda?

Anyways... What was I talking about... oh yea, facebook... Yay or nay?

Stalker - The ultimate form of flattery

I have a new blogger friend I would like to introduce you all to. Her name is Cassie and her blog is titled EUG . (Click here to check it out, she has pictures of cute boys up there right now) I realized that I don't know what that stands for, and it is possible that I just haven't read back far enough. I mention her for a few reasons...

First, she is having a contest on her web site, go check it out... There haven't been too many participants yet and this fact is making her very sad, it also makes our odds of winning really good... wink wink.

Second, she speaks tween. I can talk about how HSM is SO yesterday, and how we all hate Demi Lovato because she got Joe Jonas in the movie Camp Rock, and, well Joe is the cutest Jo Bro. Selena Gomez, is the greatest actress/singer on the planet, and could kick Demi's rear any day. (these opinions are the opinion of my 11yr old tween)

Third, and most importantly, she admitted to wasting a considerable amount of time reading my ENTIRE blog all the way back through the beginning in spaces!!!!! You just can't imagine how that strokes my ego. WOW, I mean I know I've done that, on a couple blogs... but me? WOW. Maybe if my head swells up just a bit more, my butt won't look so fat.

So if she is hooked to the literary masterpiece that is this blog. She will comment and tell us all what eug stands for... Cassie?

And GO check out her contest already!!!!!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Juvenile deliquents

Yep, that's right, my two honor roll kids were sent home today...

Why? Oh well here I'll show you.

*Gasp * Shock! The horror....
I know what you are all thinking... How in the world did someone like me ever get the license to raise children? Oh that's right, I didn't need one whah hah haha hahahahhhaaaaa.....

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Got Dust?

I don't dust.


I hate dusting, and having a thin layer of dust has become such a useful tool...

See below the very unsuspecting living room

Nothing out of the ordinary... until you zoom in just a bit...
The evidence is then revealed...
This stinks for 2 reasons...
1. One of my children has been standing on the furniture
2. Now I actually have to dust. :-(

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Molding Young Minds

It's unofficial. I am about to be a substitute teacher... You know because life wasn't miserable enough as it is, so i thought how can I make things even worse... hmmmm (fingers drumming on desk...) What could possibly be the lowest of low in careers...

Ditch digger? Naw they have back hoes and unions... easy.
Garbage truck picker uper? Riding on the back of a truck... wind in my hair... awesome.
Hmmm what person do all people hate and loathe... tax collector? naw. repo man? I don't know how to break into cars...

Oh I KNOW!!!! Substitute teaching!

Monday, February 16, 2009


A little over a month ago I decided to sign up to be a substitute teacher. In Tennesse you only need a high school diploma, clean drug test and finger printed to qualify. Hey I'm not teaching phsyics, I'm a sub. So I scheduled my training, for february 17th, which is tomorrow, which is a teacher in-service day. Great. So my girls are home, I have to find a sitter. I really hate asking anyone.

Why? Even though they are dear friends, they are new friends. All they know is what they have seen in only 6 months, or should I say allowed them to see. They haven't know me for years, seen the ugly side of me and decided to be stick around and be my friend anyways.
Do they know that I am SO competitive that I push in a game of twister, or get a little ugly when I lose? Do they know that I am not a long stable mature christian? That I was only saved 2 years ago and I still feel really lost most of the time? How about the fact that I never talk to my brother and sister, mom or dad. Typically I don't care, and am glad that I don't ever have to deal the family drama that most people endure, but sometimes I grieve for the relationships that I wish we had. What would they think of me if they knew Hubby and I divorced several years ago, or worse yet, why we divorced... Would they still want to be my friend then? What about when I get upset? I get the mouth of a sailor... (I know I know)

Thing is, when I lived in Florida... I had lots of different friends, People I could talk to about my faith, friends I could cuss in front of, friends I could (gasp) have a drink in front of, friends to talk business, friends who I could cry with etc. The only people I know here are the few ladies from my small group at church and since they are church ladies and new friends I feel very restricted, as though I can't let me hair down and just be myself. (I feel very much like a toddler learning to walk with my faith, every time I get up to walk, I fall flat on my face again and again)

I know one person here in TN that I have known for over 5 years, sadly right now she is making some stupid choices, and honestly I can't hardly stand to be around her, at the same time I miss her so much I cry about it. I don't have to filter anything about me when I am with her.

Making new friends stinks.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Beauty secrets - we can all look like super models!!

This morning I was lying in bed have the Great Debate in my head, the one I have every Sunday morning. Do I get my lazy rear out of bed and go to church, or do I skip it and wish I had gone all day. Which is exactaly what happens...

So while I was lying there I watched a comercial for Luminess Air. The comerical says that all the really georgous women from the hit TV show Desperate house wives, their make up artist uses Liminess air on them, and now all of us common woman can have flawless skin and look 10 yrs younger too. Ok so that's step one...

Next comercial was for Proactive for blemishes so that I can be as beautiful as Jessica Simpson. Check got it, that's step two.

Last commerical was for The Contour it is an electric belt that makes your muscles do crunches while you veg out in front of the TV... Now that is what I call progress... Step three.

Maybe I should get the WEN hair care system while I'm at it... I mean if it's good enough for Laura Ingalls then I want lucious silky hair too!

So lets see, I've got the cleanser for blemish-less skin.
Perfect foundation air brush to look 10 years younger..
Rock hard abs with out working for them
and hair cleanser, not shampoo...

If only I had an extra couple hundred bucks I could look like Jennifer Aniston in a matter of weeks!!! Anyone wanna sponser me? I'll test it all out for you!

Friday, February 13, 2009

totally safe safety seal... yea right!

Oh My GOSH... the whole reason I got on the computer a few minutes ago was to tell you this story and then I forgot, or maybe ripped it from my memory in hopes to never ever recall it again...

Think that safety sealed food is safe?

Not any more.

Hubby and I were at a particular discount store that focuses on the FAMILY and saving a DOLLAR... wink wink get it? I know, I'm so stinkin clever. We walk up to the check out when an employee was standing there with a pepper shaker, the cap unscrewed and off, and she was using Elmer's glue to reseal the paper. Yes, you saw that right. She was gluing the I promise this food hasn't been tampered with seal back on the the pepper shaker and then screwed the lid back on.

Hubby put back the canister of pringles and we left with only detergent and drano.

Good grief Charlie Brown...

My little P should have been a Charlie. In fact I think I mentioned the name Charlie for a girl to hubby which was quickly vetoed. Anyways... Her writing grade is on a down slope and alot of it is from simple things. No capital when there should be, a capitol when there shouldn't and no punctuation. So I sat with her to have a little talk and discuss how we were going to practice... She then told me that she usually writes her story and then goes back and put in periods. *sigh* She than began giving me all her excuses, and new complicated ways to change things and that she "really likes long sentences"

I told her that was not an option, she would miss periods and nothing would be capitalized.
She than began to cry her face off and told me a story about a famous writer that didn't know how to write in the 7th grade... I guess she had dyslexia and she wrote the book Thank you Mr Faulkner about over coming difficulties. Anyways, she is a blubbering mess and I then PROMISED her that I would not let her enter 7th grade with out knowing FOR sure that she could read and write.

On another note my oldest A is mad Mad MAD at someone. I had a really great story here, but then realized that if some idiot put 2 and 2 together, that it would be considered a threat, blah blah blah.... She asked me if she could strangle her but not to worry she would wear latex gloves. She would never get caught unless Abby from NCIS worked the case and then she would be busted. Me being the ever so responsible parent that I am denied her that permission... But I think I am seriously gonna have to cut her off the crime scene shows.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

dreams and cornflakes

Had a strange dream last night.... Many of you that read my blog also read The Pioneer Woman's blog as well... so I had a dream about her last night.

I dreamt that I had won a contest, 5 people were pick to come to the Grand Opening of The Lodge... I was totally stoked to go there, to meet her and just be. So all of a sudden my Mother shows up??? Remember this is a dream so it doesn't have to make sense... and I say to my mom...
ME - Mom, This is Ree, she is the owner of The Lodge
(note: in my dream, my mom and Ree look exactaly alike only Ree is 3 in taller, I don't know if this is signficant)
My mom then gives her an obvious look over turns to me and says
Mom - "Not interested" and walks away...
I then shrivel down into a little blob like in the movie "the little Mermaid" when Ursula makes merpeople her prisioners.... That is exactally what happened to me.
(I just google searched for about 10 minutes of the image, CAN NOT FIND IT)

Hubby has a nasty cold... You all know how men are when they have colds... He asked me to shoot him, if he's not careful, I just might. :-)
ok ok not really, i adore the guy and he actually tries to care for himself... that was me just being goofy.

My little P has THE thickest Hair ever known to mankind. Seriously. Uh, I think maybe 2 or 3 people actually know her that read this and can vouch for that. So she has a hard time shampooing her hair and getting all the shampoo out. From time to time she get little globs of dried shampoo in her hair and needs "a mommy scrub" as we call it. She told me this morning that she is in need of a mommy scrub bewcause she is tired of..... Drumroll please...........

She is tired of the cornflakes in her hair.

Where does she get this? How does she come up with this stuff? She seriously kills me.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Leonardo who?

P - Mommy
Me - Yea?
P- I learned who painted the Mona Lisa
Me - Oh? Who?
P - Leonardo... (thinking) Leonardo... DiCaprio!
Me- Da Vinci
P-Oh, I was close!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Totally Drained

If you followed me here from Spaces, you will know that I take a little boy to and from school everyday. His mother is very poor and has no car. They live too close to the school to catch a bus but to far to walk. So Little A, as I will refer to him has gained and all access pass right into my heart. I try and support him in any way I can... He is such a sweet child.

His mother has made a mess for herself and is being evicted today. She has nowhere to go, not her mother or sisters, no one can or will take her and her 2 kids in. Saturday she called me and asked me if I would take Little A. At first the mother in me screamed yes. Then the reality of the situation sunk in and hubby and I started talking to just about anyone who would listen.

What do I do? Well, we are studying the book of James in small group and I had just finished reading James 1:5-8 and it says

5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

So I prayed long and hard for wisdom. Wisdom did not agree with my bleeding heart. The reality of the situation is that we have not been financially bountiful and are struggling to make make ends meet. We have let go of our last worldly token of pride and I believe since we finally humbled ourselves Hubby has been granted some over time that will help us make ends meet. Wisdom doesn't say to take on another debt.

Wisdom remind me that even if his mother's intention are for him to stay with me for a couple day/weeks, she only has custody of 2 out of 5 of her children. Nothing tells me that she wouldn't disappear knowing he was well taken care of. Then what? the child isn't legally mine, I have no insurance for him, I couldn't enroll him in school, the state would take him or she would come back a year or so later and crush my heart.

I thought that once I made this decision from the wisdom I asked for that my heart wouldn't ache anymore, but that's not true... All I have done is cried for this boy and today I have to tell him that I think it is better that he stay with his mother.

Lord give me strength

Thursday, February 5, 2009

90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper

It's book report time...

Title: 90 Minutes in heaven

Author: Don Piper

Summary: The author is in a terrible car wreck, he dies and is pronounced dead on the scene. He goes to heaven, then a preacher climbs in the car and prays for him. He comes back to life and has a long painful recovery. He struggles with WHY god would allow him to experience something so awesome, and then return him to earth to suffer.

What I learned: I learned about the gift of receiving/gratitude. Receiving you ask?

Here was a man completely helpless, and people constantly wanted to do for him. He, not wanting to be a burden, rejected everyones efforts. Finally a dear friend of his told him, these people love you and care for you and are trying to show you love that you have shown for them and you are denying them that blessing. Denying someone the gift of giving. He finally started allowing people to give, and learned how to gratefully receive.

Well let's put it this way. I am a giver, I love to give, my time, my friendship, my prayers, my money, my everything. You know that feeling when you give to someone, with NO strings and how it fills up your heart until you think you are going to burst? I love that feeling, so I keep giving, even when I have nothing left to give, I give. Now think about that incredible feeling and how you would feel if each person you gave to rejected you. It would be saddening at best.

So this is all good until you are on the receiving end. I have given to others, but have never been given too. (without asking for help, without strings) When my small group showed up at my house with all the fixings for a Thanksgiving dinner, I wept. Not over the relief of having spared the cost, but I wept because I felt genuinely loved. Loved by someone how doesn't have to like me, not my mom, husband etc... When hubby said " I think your friends really like you " I wept again. This a a group of women that had only known me now for a few months. I thought I had done really well of hiding our financial dispair, and maybe I had on the surface, but somehow those ladies heard my prayers.

I wanted to reject it, declare that it should go to someone even less fortunate than me. That was mostly pride talking, but I thought of this book, and realized that by denying their gift I am denying their opportunity to give.

Think of this the next time someone offer to help you. These people are expressing their love to you, don't deny them that opportunity. Think how dejected you would feel if they rejected your offers to help them.

There are probably a lot more messages in this book, it really was good, but for me, this was the lesson I learned.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Are you kidding me?

Stupid stinking school...
My alarm goes off at 5:15am... I get up, get my coffee, say hi to hubby before he walks out the door at 5:30 and then I settle in for 30 minutes of coffee sipping and blog reading. At 6am I shower, and at 6:30 I wake the children.

So this morning at 5:15 my alarm goes off and without opening my eyes I say to hubby "Is school closed" No, he replies. So I drag my sorry butt out of bed for my coffee and I am slightly disappointed that I didn't get to sleep in (I have a bit of a head ache) and I also glad the children are going to school, because it seems my patience has run out, and the ground is frozen, so I can't hide bodies. ( you know I kidding right, kinda?)

So at the appointed 6am I head to the shower, after I get out, dress, and turn on the TV, I am about to go wake my little demons angels when I hear that out county is now closed. Now? Are you kidding? I am awake, coffee'd, showered, dressed and NOW you decide to closed the school. Did the superintendent SLEEP IN? What took so long to make this decision? I mean the entire eastern part of Tennessee is closed... Yet you waited until until WHEN? the very last stinking second to realize you didn't want buses sliding off the road on your conscience?

UGH. Now I have to find a way to entertain my little spawns while nursing a serious headache.

Shoot me.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

My FAVORITE kitchen utensil

Humor me here... I know you don't come here for my culinary greatness but I have been really breaking out of my cooking shell, especially since I can't find a job to save my life (Walmart isn't even hiring) So when I discover something awesome, I want to share it with my closest friends, and since they never answer the phone when I call, I am sharing it with you. (totally kidding about that part)

I have stainless steel pots and pans... I Do NOT have a non-stick skillet. SO I have learned many things.

You must lubricate before cooking. Pam DOES NOT WORK, it burns. Particully when I make my morning eggs, I use butter (real butter)

And this spatula gift of the kitchen gods.

Check this out, it's flexable and THIN, super thin...
So it can bend and get under the eggs and they won't break.
Also works great with cookies... It is made by OXO and I bought mine at Target... I don't know how I lived all these years with out it, oh wait I do know... we never had a dippy egg in our house.
While we are talking about kitchens.... Any suggestions for the small container #4????
I have Sugar, Flour and popcorn... Tea bags maybe?

Monday, February 2, 2009

holy butter calories batman

I think I have mentioned that I have experienced a bit of a weight gain... (I instantly think of Chris Farley in the movie Tommy boy and he says "I have a bit of a weight problem" Tee hee hee) anyways... so yes, I have gained some weight, I have been stressing over the camoflauge of hiding my muffin top (you know that fat the spills over the pants) Well my super fattyness has reach a new level or should I say, new pant size. Muffin top isn't even an option anymore in my size 12 Levi's, they have screamed Uncle and demanded I put them away until I drop 20! Pounds that is... Not push ups.

Well I am not going to whine anymore, starting nowI am going to watch my calories and figure out what I am putting into my mouth...

So I decided to examine my breakfast

1/2 tsp butter (I have SS pans, not nonstick) 50 cal
2 eggs 140 cal
2 slices of american cheese melted 140 cal
2 slices of white bread 100 cal

2 open faced egg and cheese sandwhich = 390 cal

Holy snikies, is that alot? how many calories am I supposed to eat in a day? I'm better off eating 3 eggs and forgoing the bread and cheese, which I guess deep down I knew that... :-(

This blows.


My hubby proclaimed that his life is now complete. Not only did they announce yesterday during the Superbowl that there was a GI JOE movie coming out, but Star Trek as well.

yay me :-(

I am going to have to go online and check out the commericials, My kids have been trained to only speak during commercials, of course years of training can not be undone for one single event... So I missed quite a few...

I re-arrainged my living room yesterday... Picture to follow (the camera battery is D E A D)

Gotta go, must shower, I actually have to work today -gasp-