Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Wardrobe Malfunction

Ever have one of those days?

Yesterday morning as I was attempting to dress for work, I came to the horrifying realization that I actually had nothing to wear... I haven't done laundry in.. uh.. forever and a half... leaving me with that one pair of crumpled panties in the back corner of your underware drawer... You know the ones, the ones that you pull out, think *gee, these are cute, wonder why they are shoved clear back in the corner of my drawer* So, like an unsuspecting victim of a horror film, you walk outside to find the noise, I mean you decide to wear the panties, instead of... what do girls call it when they go with out panties? We don't exactaly "freeball" it... Anyways, you get my drift...
Then the LAST pair of dress pant you own are hanging there, laughing because they know you are about to be forced to wear them. Why is this so bad? These are the pants that Preteen A put in the dryer, shrunk up, and now I roll up to create the illusion of cuffed capris. Not that I think I am fooling anyone... which is why they were the last pair of pants hanging there.

So as it is pouring down rain, I throw on my heals and run off to work.

About an hour after I arrive, I realize the errors of my ways... The reason the panties are clear in the back of the drawer... NO ELASTIC! Every step I take, every move it make, they are falling down around my hips, which is leaving the oddest bunched up ring around my body. Oh and lucky me, guess what else, the zipper of my pants seems to be faulty and has a new phobia of heights! Yes, I was in a constant XYZ situation ALL DAY!

But, I have a moment of light... I have to go to the store to get water, and tape for work. While I am in there, I am gonna buy a pair of panties and little sock peds to wear with my heels, as my feet are freezing!

I bought the wrong size panties, in a thong, and the socks were too big.

I COULD NOT WAIT to get home and strip! My nightgowns was on at 6:15pm

Monday, October 25, 2010

Once a cheerleader always a cheerleader...

Yesterday we were in the car going out to buy halloween costumes... I asked preteen A use her phone to find the halloween store "Spirit"

Preteen A: Mom, how do you spell spirit?
Me: S-P-I-R-I-T *clap clap*
Preteen A: Wait, what? How do you spell it?
Me: S-P-I-R-I-T *clap clap*
Hubby: Stop cheering....

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


So, I recently found out that my daughter had a secret facebook account...
She called herself "Billy" based on a character in her favorite book....

Her "About me" said... "Aren't I SO smart, I'm not allowed to have a facebook account so I made one up. My mom doesn't know about it, I'm so kewl"

So I started randomly calling her "billy" it would make her jump a little, but no confession and she kept posting on her fb account...

One day, I had had it and sent her a friend request that said "busted" in the message... She grounded, we were the worst parents ever... blah blah blah... but the bust part?

The best part was this on her fb wall:

Taylor(her bff)-Yea so smart, just like when she walked by and said Hey Billy, hahahahaa
Billy(my daughter) - ik :(

That was funny...

Out of Commission

I have been out of commission for a few days, corn maze, work followed by an allergy attack...
Will bring you up to speed soon.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dr appts...

Today is Dr Appt day... Preteen A has to get anouther round of vaccines, no biggie.
Little P however is another story... My sweet Little P has had bowel problems since she was born... It has been a LONG frustrating journey, and I wish I could say I feel hopeful, and maybe I do, a little... but history tells me not to get too excited. I will spare you details since most of you are reading this during your morning coffee, but I did write about out plight a few years ago here. Well since then, she's been tested for diabeties at least once more to come back negative, I was asked to read a book called "Sugar Busters" which I have, and changed about 75% of our eating habits... Nothing has changed.
When I try to discuss the problem with a peditrician... they assume I have her on a McD's/BK diet. Reality is we eat fast food maybe once every couple weeks.
Or they will yell at me to "give her some fresh vegatables!" before they ever thought to ask about her current diet.

What's different about today??? We are going to a Pediatric Gastroenterolgist. So a little prayer that they may do more than make assumptions and discard us.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

what a week so far...

Monday, had to cater and do a huge presestation to about 20 people... and then we completely tore down the office aquarium. Then Little P had her "crossing over"ceremony from a Junior Girl Scout, to a Cadet.
Tuesday, At 7am (5 minutes before I leave the house) I realized that I never washed the cleaning ladys rags and towels. Yes, I know it's odd, but one of my assumed duties... In my feeble attempt to wash them, then throw them in the dryer, drop the kids off at thier schools, then swing back around to get the dried towels... well they weren't dry at all and the ONLY thing i accomplished was being late for work. That day was crazy, only to rush home to go straight to PTO fall festival planning meeting...
Today, I am driving hubby's truck because I am buying 2 more hens today... Which means I need to get ready, get a container for food and water, grab some straw... Stop by a friends to borrow a dog crate... and I have NO obligation after work!!!!!

ps. Hubby found the battery charger for the camera... which means pictures for you!

Monday, October 11, 2010


Well, I had to work this weekend, another open house... That is quickly losing it's charm...

I didn't allocate much blog time this morning, actually I didn't allocate any at all, (I'm at work)

So all I have time to say is "Good morning, may your Monday not suck"

Til Later...


Friday, October 8, 2010

FRIDAY at last, oh how I've missed you...

To all of you out there fretting about my hygiene.... The water is back on...



Well anyways, it's Friday, and that means I get to spend 5 hours hosting an Open house, that also means "bring a good book".

Is it just me or do you sleep better getting in to a well made bed? I mean, I know I sleep better when the bed has been made and everything is tucked in and smoothed out just right... what I can't figure out is if it's a mind over matter kinda thing...

Oh, my boss recently revealed that he majored in psychology in college... If he was ever trying to figure out a way to shut me up... he found it!

I'm excited that it is Friday and can't compose more than 2 sentences that are related... Hence the randomness...

I took a sign language class last winter and loved it, loved it SO much, that I mentioned to the boss man we should make that our real estate "niche" and cater to the Huge deaf community in our area.

ok, that is most of the crap on my mind today...

Have a Fabulous Weekend!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

desert land

Well... like a total bone head... I forgot to pay the water bill. Not that it would be a big deal, but around these parts... 5 days after your late notice they shut the water off while you are at work, only to come home to hear your hubby say "Are there any other bills you didn't pay I need to know about?" Noooo. The Preteen A, " I have a fieldtrip tomorrow and "you know who" is in my group... I have to wash my hair, I need to look goood" We'll wash your hair, don't worry. Little P rejoiced "Yes! I don't have to take a shower today" Me? I ordered a pizza and tried not to play with my hair and make it greasy...
Well I am off to take my "slut" bath...
Have a good day..

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Unrulely kids and parents

Last night was preteen A's choir concert. They did an excellent job. What surprises me is the blatent disregard the parents display toward the teachers and students.

1. First off, as the chorus director is trying to tell us how great our kids are, all the parents and talking among themselves... It's actually embarrassing to be sitting among them.

2. The family behind us... It would seem that grandma was holding the 3-4 yr old child and she wanted down! I know this because they were directly behind hubby, and the child, in her attempt to get down squirmed, kick and cried. If you can't control the kid take them out of the room, there are other people there too.

3. In between songs, another 3-4 year old girl finally spotted her sister on stage... To which she cried out "Sissy, you having fun?" the audience giggled, the director raised her arms to start the song and... She yelled to her sister again, and again... all in all about 9 times, it stopped the concert, and it wasn't until then the mother actually thought to do anything about her antics.

I've had toddlers, I know sometimes they can get a little... unruley... but really? Parents, step up! If your kids want to act like that at home, fine. when other people are there trying to watch their children as well, get a grip on your kids or take them outside.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Deadly Women

There are three things you need to know for this story to be funny...

1. My husband has a barely receding hairline and a thinning crown.
2. My husband bought his first pair of reading glasses.
3. My husband's arm is bruised from elbow to sholder.

Ok, with those facts in mind, my hubby was watching a show called "Deadly Woman" about murderous women, duh. So there was this granny lady that was slowing killing her husband with rat poison... His symptoms? Thinning hair, vision loss, arm pain.

My hubby is starting to wonder if I am poisoning him. I reminded him that I am NOT a patient woman, and if I were so inclinded, if I ever decided to "off" him, it would be quick.

I bet that makes him sleep a lot better at night.

Hoarder next door

I think I may have an unhealthy addiction the the two shows on TLC and A&E, Hoarders and Hoarding: Buried Alive. That show is like a car accident... It completely grosses me out, but I can NOT stop watching. The kids run in fear when ever I watch, because they know things are about to be thrown away... So the benefit is their rooms seem to stay a little neater...

From watching this show, and putting a name to this... chaos. I noticed that there is a hoarder that lives down the road from me... We first made fun of the fact that they mowed (once a month) around the scooter in the front yard... then we noticed things appearing on the front porch. Then one day as we drove past, someone was walking out of the house and 1-they couldn't open the front door all the way and 2-We could see a nano second of a glimpse inside.

A am dying to get in that house... I know it's gotta be disturbing, but the organization nut in me is fascinated by it. If you or anyone you know want am amateur organizer/therapist to help them clean up a hoarder home... Look me up!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Real bonafide fresh eggs

This past spring I finally talked my husband into letting me get a couple chickens... I know you all probably think I am completely nuts, but I live in the country, on several acres, amd I thought chickens would be a good beginner live stock to own...
Aren't the adorable?
Well, now they are big, the rooster scares me sometimes and black and white was killed by a neighborhood dog. So that leaves me with "Rudy" the rooster and what I like to call "the twins".
Yesterday, one of the twins, laid her first egg!!!! I am SO excited! They are finally giving back...

Friday, October 1, 2010

Meanest mom ever... That's ME!

So this morning, after I dropped off Little P and after I dropped off preteen A at her bus stop, 5-10 min later she sends a text saying "Stop at the school and drop of 14 bucks for field trip"
I reply "I can't" (why can't I, you ask? It's called the drop off line and then momma is 45 min late for work) and then call her...

At that moment I was in a place that I could turn and possibly intercept the bus, I asked her where the next stop was after hers, she got snotty and said "you've never been on this road" I assure her I know where she is going if she would just tell me... She says "forget it, I have my own money" I said 'GREAT!" she said "FINE!" I know, I know, I fine example of maturity...

So I turn back around and start heading to work... 5-10 minutes later I receive this text "Never mind, I don't have enough money" I said"Sorry, I am too far away now" She "whatever'd me and will be losing her phone and party privilege this weekend...

Can I Scream now?