Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Another Dad update

My brother is in Ohio on a family visiting vacation. He is the first one of us 3 kids to see dad since he got sick, since Dad is in Ohio, My brother lives in Virginia, my sister is in Florida and me of course in TN.
He was shocked to see the deterioration of my dad's health, he said his arms and legs are very skinny but his belly large swollen to the point that it looked hard. When my brother arrived at 11am, my dad was just waking up from bed, ate a half a crab cake and nothing else the entire time he was there (4-5 hrs). My dad was very emotional, believes he is dying, believes that he has no options, and believes that he is to blame for his illness. He kept telling my brother he has Liver Cancer, when we all know that it's cirrhosis... i think he just can't bring himself to say it.
Yesterday I received a txt from my brother stating that us 3 kids needed to have a conference call. Obviously regarding my dad, but what part... no idea.
Then I received a txt stating that he was going to see dad's dr tomorrow at 9:30 and what question did we have? Honestly, my only two questions are: Can you help him with the pain? How long do I have left with him?
I went to Al-Anon last night. I managed to introduce myself, but that was it. "my name's Lucky" and they said "Hi Lucky" I had a huge lump on my throat the entire meeting, eyes brimming with tears, I didn't say a word and as soon as the meeting was over, I RAN for my car and bawled. A few minutes later, i heard a tap tap on my window, one of the people from inside said "My first 6 weeks, I came to meeting didn't utter a word, and cried in my car afterwards. Keep coming back" Funny, it was exactly what I needed to hear.


  1. My heart goes out to you. I know you are having a hard time with you father's situation. I'll keep you in my prayers.

  2. I am so glad you went... and God bless that person who tapped on your window. Do keep going. AmD