Thursday, April 23, 2009

Why have you picked me to be Job?

Dear Jesus,
I read somewhere that you don't hear, or acknowledge or answer our prayers until we confess out sins. Have I missed something? I thought I got it ALL out that day, you know? I'm not sure if I understand all this so just in case I forgot something...
I'm sorry for spelling S-w-i-m-m-i-n-g in front of my little sister so I didn't have to drag her along.
I'm sorry for letting everyone believe that billy farted in 5th grade gym during sit ups when it was really me.
I'm sorry for dumping my good friends in a faint hope of being popular and liked by the cool kids.
I'm sorry I rejected you when my step dad died.
I'm sorry for being an all around teenage putz.
I'm sorry for ignoring you for my own self gratification for the past 10 years.
I'm sorry it took me SO long to get my head out of my (you know what) and finally give it all up to you.

So now, when I feel like I am learning your word, and understanding your message, and promoting my belief in you, and truly feel like one of your children, why do I feel like... Why have you picked me to be Job?
I went back to work, because I prayed about it and you opened that door for me, now hubby's work is only working every other week! I suppose this job was so we could meet our needs, not our wants.

I know you won't give me more than I can handle, but come on already... Does it always have to be pushed to the brim? I have only had 2 months of reprieve, out of the 2 years of ridiculous stress. I'm tired. I'm tired of this. It's too much. My plate of full. What more do you want from me?

Still praying and trusting in the Lord.


  1. Hang in there, girlfriend. I know the feeling. Trust me! *sigh*

  2. Bookaholic,

    This post is breaking my heart. Hang in there! *hugs*