January 2nd

Ah a new year... New hopes & dreams and challenges & joys.  There are so many exciting things going on in January and I want to be apart of ALL of them. Unfortunately for me that would mean total burnout so I narrowed it down to accept two challenges for January.  

What are they? hang tight I will get to that... first i need to share my 14 Goals for 2014. Sharing them with you - random stranger - actually does help me be more accountable.  So if you see me slacking, please call me out on it!  So here they are:

1.  Make a Quilt

2.  Start writing again! You love writing, make time for it. Minimum twice a month.

3.  Get healthy already! You are almost 40! No French Fries! Time to be 170lbs again. Track, Track, Track on Weight Watchers.

4.  Run 2 5k’s, Beginning of the year & end. See how much you’ve improved!

5.  Make a new DETAILED budget, get your hubby involved!

6.  Create Master Meal plan

7.  Pay off Medical expenses… You are almost there!

8.  Write Grandma 1 letter per month.

9.  Send more cards for no reason. 2 per month.

10.      Plant a Garden

11.      Hike 2 new trails in the Smoky Mountains

12.      Read a Classic novel

13.      Make a Genealogy book for Grandma

14.      Visit a new city.

 So, what do you think? Hubby said it seems aggressive, but doable. I agree.  I want to challenge myself, but make it attainable as well.  In reality I have a 40/50 hr a week career, two teenage daughters a husband that I adore and an amazing church group.  I am a busy woman. So what challenges am i beginning with? 

Challenge #1 www.acuff.me To start, I am apart of the Jon Acuff 30 day hustle... Day one, define what you are gonna hustle on in January. So i thought and I thunk and decided that the first thing I needed to do was dust off my financial peace training and get back on a solid budget... Being on a budget provides self esteem, security, and the freedom to dream and do. Day Two, why did we pick what we did? Well I kinda already explained that, but basically it can set the pace for the entire year. Since I plan on this year being spectacular, my financial world needs to reflect that as well.

Challenge #2 - www.Goinswriter.com Write 500 words a day for 31 days... Ooopps! I think I was supposed to start that yesterday.  What I like about this challenge is that I really love writing, and wanted to get back in the habit. The other part is we weren't challenged to write/edit/re-write and submit perfect essays.  No editing just write... about the recipe you made yesterday, the struggle you had with your teen, a funny story, whatever.... Free your thoughts and write something! This feels so liberating.  At work I write, and edit and re-write emails and letters and memos until every and, an & but are perfectly so. Here I can add my irrelevant prepositions at the ends of questions without being scrutinized. Example: Do you know where my coat is, at? haha, Sometimes you havbe no idea you do those weird thing until you move to a new region.  

Challanges I declined - Empty Shelf @ acuff.me - Empty a book shelf and fill it up throughout the year.  Made to Crave bible study on Proverbs31.com and I think I had a few more in my email from Weight Watchers, biblegateway and flylady.com

Challenge yourself! 

 

The Girls & Travel

It seems I may have friends.  I mean not just a friend that lives in one place and a friend that lives in another, but a group of women, from my sunday school class, outside church friends. I think the last time I had a group of friends was early high school, I belonged to a group of 3.  Now, 20 yrs later, I think I belong to a new group, and I try not to be an idiot about it, but sentimentally, I really need a support group right now.

My husband has been flying back and forth to Brazil, for work since September. It stinks. He will gone 4 weeks, home 2, gone 3 weeks, home 1 week. I have been thrust into the role of a single mom, with a household for a couple.  It is stressful, it has been stressful on our relationship, mostly because we are just tired. Tired of being apart, tired of the traveling, tired of being left out & tired of being left behind.

On the bright side, we have been emailing like crazy and have really opened up our communication as well. I just miss my friend. (name that movie)

Have a great weekend! Chat soon.

Getting there...

What do you think of this layout?  It seems a bit crowded to me.  I think if I could figure out how to reduce the side bar FONT size, I'd be golden. 

I have lots to tell... The big one being that my husband has been in Brazil most of the past 6 months and will be for the next 4-6 months... But I'll leave that for another day.

Right now I am at work, with nothing to do, and 7 hrs to fill... I think it's time to clean out the file cabinets!

Woot woot!

Hey, you. Have a great weekend, ok?

Opps

Ha ha..
I was playing with the different template options and I have completely jacked up my blog. Great!

I hope to provide a more visually appealing site in the near future.

Hugs! 

And Happy Valentine's Day!

How are you?

So it seems my Twitter account is linked to my blog, which is fine... I'm not a big twitterer, tweeter? So SOMEONE  who happens to be a bit tech savvy figured it out. Which BTW is totally cool with me.

I have missed using this as my outlet to whine, share, celebrate and record our family, but Facebook is just SO easy to drop a line and you're off. You know? But that's all it is, a clever line to answer the social protocol "How are you" but not actually wanting to know.
Have you ever HONESTLY answered a casual "How are you?" from someone... It's actually quite hilarious to see the expression on the check out lady's face when you say "Actually, my shoe broke and I locked my keys in my car, I found a distant relative in England and all I want to do is call my Dad and tell him about it, but I can't (insert rogue tear) it's been a pretty rough day."
It will be the fastest check out you have ever experienced... 

But why don't we? Why are we so afraid to share emotions, and struggles, and REAL LIFE? Not just with strangers but people who we consider our friends, or acquaintances that could be friends if you'd just open up a bit? Rejection? Maybe, but you'd probably most likely find relief, because your life looked SO perfect on Facebook. 

I'm not afraid, because my struggles and flaws and emotions are what make me who I am, don't tell me "Fine and you?" Tell me what is going on with your life? How can I pray for you?


Tell me, 

How are you? Really?

You want to hear my testimony?

Well, I'm not ready to tell you...

Not yet.

Wanna know why?

I feel (sometimes) like the only reason some people want to hear my testimony is so they can hear about the most awful, shameful things I have done, weigh themselves against that, and then judge me for it.

I mean, let's face it, no one's testimony include a somewhat shameful moment, that was kinda bad. It involves that absolute lowest of low's that you have ever been in.

So if a situation presents itself, in which I think my story could benefit you, I will share it. If you're just that nibby nosey "church lady" then you may get the 4 sentence summary of a 400 page novel. :)

NO CANCER!!!

I had my first mammogram yesterday and I will say it was uncomfortable, but not unbearable. They then did a ultrasound and found that I have several cysts on both breasts. I have been instructed to take 400mg of Vitamin E, and if the giant cyst (the one I found) doesn't go down within 2 months, to call back to have it drained.
The Dr said I would be a great candidate for an MRI considering the density of my breasts, the family history on my maternal & paternal side, and the considerable amount of cysts I already have, but that fate is in the hands of my insurance company.
That made me recall something I had read about Christina Applegate, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at 36, of which was found by an MRI. She was appalled that early detection resources were not available to all women, like an MRI... Her story never really hit home until now.
Hubby was right, you could say I won the lottery yesterday, and I need to start taking better care of myself. I know that cancer doesn't discriminate, but I don't want to encourage it either.
I need to take a stand for myself, for my health, my future and be an example to my daughters.

Squish

Today is the big day. I go not only for my first mammogram, but a diagnostic evaluation. Do you realize I just turned 37 on Wednesday? I am not post menopausal! This isn't supposed to be happening!

I am nervous, but had my mini melt down last week, now I just want the results so I can Move On!

I did have a nice weekend, flew to Florida to watch my sister get married. I was a small intimate wedding and super enjoyable.

I will keep you updated... appt is at 3:00 pm today.

My Humps

3 weeks ago I was getting out of the shower and saw a towel fuzzy on my R breast... I went to brush the fuzz off and I felt something weird. So I felt my breast again, than I felt my left breast to see if it felt the same way. It did not. I stood in the bathroom for at least 15 minutes feeling, poking, prodding trying to digest what in the world I was feeling. 

When I finally emerged from the bathroom, I said to Hubby "I need you to feel my breasts" I got the strangest look from him, but he complied. "Do you feel it?" He looked at me and said  "Your making a Dr appt first thing tomorrow morning" I didn't disagree.

That next morning, I called an OBGYN and made an appt for and annual check up and mentioned my recent discovery. First available appt was in 2 weeks. Everyday leading up to my appt I would wake up and check to see if the lump was still there. Then I'd check again, and again and again everyday. About 30 times a day.

Appt Day! Finally! I was hoping I'd go in, and the Dr would say "Oh That? Silly girl, that's just a "whatever" no need to worry" Instead she said "I am scheduling you for a diagnosgtic mammogram" and I have to wait another 2 weeks. This time, time is not passing by quickly. I am completely freaking myself out, going on to web md and cancer.org. I need to STAY AWAY from those sites.

To add to the torture I have been VERY selective as to who I've told about this. Because, my little sister is getting married this weekend, I don't want any of her much deserved attention diverted away from her. I figure, I don't know anything yet, so if I'm fine then there is no sense in worrying everyone, and if it is something... then we will have plenty of time to worry after the wedding.

My appt is monday, May 14th at 3pm - feel free to send up prayers for my health.

Tragedy & Sadness

Tragedy - Sunday after Thanksgiving, I ventured to the Sunday night service... the youth pastor is speaking tonight about letting God's love shine through you. 5am the next morning, hubby calls to say our friend's son shot himself, he is alive. These friends are more like acquaintances... they are not always easy to love. As I race to the hospital I pray... "God, let them see your love through me, let them see your mercy and grace and use me to show them your unconditional love... God let them see your love through me..." The entire family goes to see him almost every night... They say, you've done enough, you don't have too, and I know that, but it's not me showing them this love, like I said, I find them difficult to love sometimes, but God doesn't. He has simply answered my prayer and so I go with a loving heart that I am not capable of. He is healing physically, I hope spiritually as well. 2 1/2 weeks later, he may get to come home Tuesday... Pray for him and his family.


Sadness - The sadness has been a bit overwhelming lately, I thought I was healing, I wasn't crying over the loss of my dad daily anymore... but then, it crept back in and took hold. Only it's not daily, it's multiple times a day... I can't explain it. Hubby doesn't understand it, or... or is the sadness more than grief? I can't tell... I feel "ok" when I deliberately set my mind on other things, but at the slightest memory, my eyes fill with tears and I began deep breathes to hold it in... Am I grieving loss? Regret? Guilt? Or is it just the first Holiday?

Who's Buying?

Over Thanksgiving weekend we were decorating for Christmas and my Little P (Age 11) says to me:


P – Mommy you are just gonna have to tell me whether or not Santa Clause is real because one day I am going to have my own family and I need to know if I need to buy toys or if Santa is going to bring them.

I’ll give you a minute to roll on the floor cracking up

M- Is there something you need to tell me???

P – NO!

M- When you stop believing, Santa stops delivering.

Happy Thanksgiving

Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way!

Give thanks, even for the fleas. (The Hiding Place)

The very thing you are seeking deliverence from could be the same thing that is delivering you!

Christmas Sale!

There is a HUGE sale going on at Blessings Unlimited... Check out the amazing deals and Christmas gift ideas...  The Cake platters are 8" 10" & 12" all the pillows are Covers and the apron has the same pattern as the vase next to it. You can contact me on my website at:

www.myblessingsunlimited.net/jordan

or jnframpton@hotmail.com

Moms - could you weigh in here?

Does anyone else randomly burst into tears at the memory of picking up your smiling, drooling, chubby baby even though she is 11 yrs old? Or cry the entire way back to the office after you pick up your 14 yr old from school and drop her off at home, only to here her say "pooey"when you have to leave?
Or when your teen plays "Mary had a little lamb" on her flute for the first time? Or cheers at her first game?

I burst into tears when my daughter got a Birthday Card from my step-mom and I saw that my dad's name was excluded. Not that I expected it to be there, but then at the same time, it's absence was overwhelming.

Is this residual grief from losing my dad?

I've always done this, but not to the extent I am experiencing it now.

Just trying to figure out if this is relativly "normal" or at a"seek counceling" phase...

3:16

I wake up in the middle of the night, blink open my eyes and look at the time 3:16am… My brain foggy, and my eyes closing, I faintly recall thinking to myself “For God so loved the World…”

Up again a couple hours later and I am in the truck while my husband drives me 10 hours to my dad’s funeral. Nothing seems real, the highway passes by in a blur, tears escape from my eyes and I can barely eat. I can’t think about it, I have to set my mind on other things just to function.

 A week later and I am home, back to work and back to school as though nothing has changed. I wish I could wear some sort of ceremonial ribbon, or veil so that the outside world could understand that I am broken… Instead, when acquaintances asks “how are you?” I struggle with how to be honest, without breaking down, or without sounding like I am looking for some sort of pity party. Sometime I can manage to say “I lost my dad recently”, some days I can’t say anything and just nod that I’m fine. I sit in my car preparing myself to walk into the bank and respond to those pleasantries, I look at the clock, 3:16 “…that he gave his only begotten son…”

A month has passed already, I have been an orphan for a month now, or at least that how it feels. Incomplete. Broken. I just can’t come to terms with the fact that I will NEVER get to talk to him again. WHY was I such a chicken, why didn’t I just come out and ask him… “Dad, are you going to heaven, you know we are all sinners, right? No one better or worse than anyone else” I lay awake at night praying for his eternal life, I have to believe that he was saved, I couldn’t bear to think otherwise. How long have I been awake? The time taunts me 3:16 “that who so ever shall believeth in me…”

Two months now have passed; I am defining time between before dad died and after dad died. Will I count time like this forever? Just one last chance to tell him I love him, that’s all I want. Just one last chance to tell him that Jesus loves him. I walk out to another office at work to ask a question, when I turn the corner displayed on dual screens in huge 10 inch letter reads 3:16 “…shall not perish but have everlasting life.” It hits me like a brick wall… All this time, he was trying to tell me, your dad is with me.

I sleep all night for the first time.

2 things

There are 2 things that even after 16 years of marriage my husband and I will never agree on: napping and the thermostat.
Napping: My husband is a napper, he like to nap from time to time... I am NOT a napper, but over the years have accepted the notion that an occasional nap is something that he enjoys. The problem is, location, location, location... He want to fall asleep and nap in the middle of the living room, ok fine, but then everyone else in the family (including the kids) are supposed to tiptoe and whisper during the napping process. Then, if we speak too loud, he grumbles... GO TO THE BEDROOM! lock your self in, noone will bother you, noone will talk too loud, noone gets ice from the freezer in there, we don't let the dogs in and out of the house from there... but for some reason, that ruins the napping experience...
Thermostat: That man is always COLD! Yes, I said it right, HE is always COLD. I am always hot, and miserable, he is cold and his bones hurt... so he says. Do you think I am exgagerating? In the winter, I have compromised in keeping the thermostat at 74 degrees... yes 74. Me?? I would like it at 70, hubby would prefer it at 78, and I have caught him inching it there from time to time.

I don't see this as a point of conflict, I see it as a balance... because this past sunday, he fell asleep in my lap, and I was forced to slow down. I tend to make the house so cold that peopel are uncomfortable, he would keep it bathing suit temp, so we balance...
On things I am strict, he is lax and vise versa... I am so thankful for him and all the things we don't agree on.

Blessing Gathering #1

This gathering was #1 for a couple reasons... It was officially my very first gathering ever and ONE peson showed up. I was a little bummed, but it actually ended up being a nice evening. My neighbor stopped over, I told her it seemed she would be the ONLY one, and we proceeded to visit, I went through my presentation, worked out a few bugs and feel ready for the BIG one on saturday morning.  Then, not only did she place an order, she offered to do a book show and take it to work where it will be exposed to 30+ woman. When she told her work friends where she was going they all said... Ohhh what's Blessings Unlimited???  She said " I have no idea, but will find out!
As for my Saturday pary, I expect about a dozen people to show... I know what bugs I need to work out and am excited.
Have you checked it out?
www.myblessingsunlimited.net/jordan

Blah

Sorry I haven't written in a while...
Last Friday, the flood gate opened and I cried for HOURS... It was the first time I let myself cry since my dad died. I spent the weekend catching up on all teh house work that had been neglected from having guests the past 2 weekends. It started raining Monday and hasn't stopped yet.
Now I am fighting off a cold... yuck.

My first Blessings Unlimied Gathering is tomorrow... wish me luck!

Blessings Unlimited Announcement

It is offical.
I am an independent consultant for Blessings Unlimited.
Blessings Unlimited was founded in 2006 by DaySpring© Inc., the world's leading producer of Christian greeting cards and gifts.
The name Blessings Unlimited is based on this Scripture from John:
From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another. John 1:16 NIV

Blessings Unlimited is still not widely known, which means, I am the only consultant in East Tennessee. Finally a new product on the market!!!!

Check out my personal Blessings website, look through the catalog, and email me to set up your own gathering (party) September's hostess incentive is double rewards!!! There isn't a better time to schedule! You could decorate your home, or use all your free and 1/2 product to start your Christmas shopping!

www.myblessingsunlimited.net/jordan

siblings - business - kids

Sooo... what's been happening? I am unsure of what i am gonna write about today so, bear with me as I babble along until I come up with something interesting...
My hubby's brother, his wife and 3 yr old boy are coming to visit today. I am surprised and excited. Surprised because I am always inviting them to come down and leave the inlaws behind, not that I don't love them, it would just be nice to hang out as siblings but never have in 6 yrs. Well, they called up and said "how about this weekend?" and we said "Great!"
I have about 15 different ideas on things we could do... I'll just have to wait until they get here to decide... my ideas are :
Take the whole family on a train ride through the mountians
Head out to Cade's Cove
Take the sister in law painting, or all 4 of us and let my girls babysit!
Have a cookout and invite a bunch of people...
Ok, so really 4 ideas...
Teen A is starting cheerleading which I think is great!
Preteen P (formally known as Little P) is going to play the flute in band... (I loved band, so excited)
And I am considering on venturing into a new business, I am fact gathering about a couple of them right now... soo no hints. But when I decide... it will be a grand anouncement.