Friday, October 30, 2009
God knew me before he formed me. Right? So after he had figured that all out... he got busy making me just the right person to be my best friend. That could not have been an easy task, as I am not always sensible. I mean... he had to make someone that he knew, would...
1. Not give up when I was (a smidge) self centered.
2. Not desert me when time and paths stretched long apart.
3. Let me ramble on about things that she has NO interest in.
4. Laugh at my silliness.
5. Share their love of Jesus, and have awesome conversations with.
6. Relate to the baggage I carry.
7. Force me to speak truth, when I want to cover things up with half truths.
8. Let me ask hard questions, because I trust her with everything.
9. Love me...
Anyways... I just hope she knows that I feel truly blessed to have her as my friend, and that only the work of God could have created such perfection. She isn't everyone perfect friend, She's my perfect friend.
Happy Birthday... I hope you have an incredible day... I love you.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The best part of this new friendship... Material! I have just been dried out here in blogland.
Friends my own age
The adventures of preteen eye makeup
So what big change would put an old friend in shock? Do tell!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Today MIL called Lucky Wife to tell her that her preteen had forwarded her a creepy picture of a girl holding a knife, with a traditional scary Halloween story that implied "If you don't forward this to 10 people, you will find pictured scary girl at the foot of your bed" MIL's intentions were to "tattle" on the young girl but Lucky Wife - THE MOTHER - had already seen said item. Preteen had showed me the item herself. MIL then proceeded to try and figure out what the child's punishment was (if any) and she was dismayed to hear "it was handled" giving her NO satisfaction to her request. The MIL then told Lucky Wife that she "just feels better talking about it" to which Lucky Wife replied that she was at work and she would have to find someone else to talk to.
Unfortunately this conversation has NOT hindered her plans to visit us in 2 weeks.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
2. Hubby is back to work and has been transferred to the Engineering Dept. which is an awesome thing.
3. Today is my dad's birthday... He's 63, today is also my friend Penny's birthday she's 49, not that any of this matters to you. You may find it interesting that I dread this phone call... Why? Well, it is just such a painful call at times... I will post our dialogue later, you'll see.
4. I completely lost it on my daughter this morning...After I woke her 472 times, she finally dressed and went back to sleep, then I yelled and screamed and she brushed her teeth and hair and went to watch TV, I stomped, screamed, snarled and snorted and she finally put her shoes, coat and backpack on. When I went outside she was REFUSING to get in the back seat because Sissy was in the front (it's a 2 door) It was at that moment that I said:
Monday, October 5, 2009
Hubby took me out to lunch(that should have been my first clue) and toward the end of our meal he said "We need to talk" oh great, I'm thinking, what did I screw up now? "I've been thinking about this for a while now and I do want to have another baby, now I don't want you to make any decisions right away, just think about it" ok sure, I'll think about it...
Here's the problem, my decision changes with the wind. One day I feel all maternal and lovey and we took our girls to the library and hubby picked out a book "Preconception diet, Boy-Diet A, Girl-Diet B" which was fine until I saw that it was written in 1982,and it said "based on recent discoveries about the use of alcohol during pregnancy, we have omitted them from the diet" and the first day mentions Cow Tongue...Sorry sweet heart, I don't love you that much.
Then the wind blows and I remember that I have a (almost)12 yr old and 9 yr old. So that means when the new baby FINALLY starts kindergarten, the girls will be juniors and freshmen in HS. Seriously?
Then, directional wind change... we have 2 girls, and I would guess if we only had boys that I would long for a girl... Would I? Not June, do you ever wished your had gone one more time to get a girl? Stacy? any regrets ladies? I NEED TO KNOW!
Quite frankly, and I know this is might sound strange, but I am way more in love with my hubby now than when we had babies... we were still kids our selves... (I was 22 and 25 when they were born) I think experiencing having a child with this man would be exciting... and completely different from the first two, when he thought I had aliens in my belly and didn't even want to feel them kick...
And then I feel like Lynette from Desperate housewives after she found out she was pregnant... Here watch Hormones
I sometimes feel like I am too old to have more, and then realize that the reason I hang out with woman 10-15 years older than me is because we have the same ages kids and they all started at my age... Started... See I had my two girls at age 22 and age 25, I am now 34... Which I am having a hard time gripping with that I am not too old... I actually had convinced myself that it was too late... Door shut... seems it never got shut all the way...
How does anyone PLAN to have a child? I am a train wreck... My thoughts are scrambled, as is this post (sorry) One day I am ready to just let God bless me in what ever way he sees fit, and then the next I think... yeah right... have you not seen the sense of humor he has? He'll bless me alright, with twins and before you know it, I have have 3 more...
I just can't make any sense of my feelings, hormones, maternal desires... Do I want this, or do I want this for Hubby? Will I resent him? Will I flourish?
I truly don't know what I want.