Happy Birthday BFF

Today is a very important day for me... No it's not my birthday, but it is the birthday of my oldest friend (Not her age, the time WE have been friends) See the way I look at it is like this...
God knew me before he formed me. Right? So after he had figured that all out... he got busy making me just the right person to be my best friend. That could not have been an easy task, as I am not always sensible. I mean... he had to make someone that he knew, would...
1. Not give up when I was (a smidge) self centered.
2. Not desert me when time and paths stretched long apart.
3. Let me ramble on about things that she has NO interest in.
4. Laugh at my silliness.
5. Share their love of Jesus, and have awesome conversations with.
6. Relate to the baggage I carry.
7. Force me to speak truth, when I want to cover things up with half truths.
8. Let me ask hard questions, because I trust her with everything.
9. Love me...

Anyways... I just hope she knows that I feel truly blessed to have her as my friend, and that only the work of God could have created such perfection. She isn't everyone perfect friend, She's my perfect friend.

Happy Birthday... I hope you have an incredible day... I love you.

Change...

Do you ever run into someone, someone that knew you but haven't seen in YEARS and find that they are in shock over how you've changed? This summer, and old friend from school whom I lost touch with almost 18 years ago, moved back to my small home town and we got in touch... with some urging from my BFF, since we used to be 3 amigos. When I was 16, I was a model, my family was wealthy, we traveled constantly, I had expensive clothes, handbags... I was a city girl. Flash forward 18 years, I have acerage, a garden, ugly black walmart wellies (rubber boots)a snazzy hand bags from Penny's that's 3 yrs old, dreams of owning chickens and possibly a goat, and the most expensive article of clothing I own? My Levi's. Of course this transformation didn't happen over night... But for her it did. When I mention something about an apron... she howls, when she sees I sewed a bonnet for my daughter... she wants a DNA tests to make sure I'm not as robotic clone...
The best part of this new friendship... Material! I have just been dried out here in blogland.

Upcoming Topics:
Friends my own age
Babies again
The adventures of preteen eye makeup

So what big change would put an old friend in shock? Do tell!

News Article - Must Read - Woman's Head actually Explodes

Woman's Head actually Explodes

suspected Mother in Law is the cause

Today MIL called Lucky Wife to tell her that her preteen had forwarded her a creepy picture of a girl holding a knife, with a traditional scary Halloween story that implied "If you don't forward this to 10 people, you will find pictured scary girl at the foot of your bed" MIL's intentions were to "tattle" on the young girl but Lucky Wife - THE MOTHER - had already seen said item. Preteen had showed me the item herself. MIL then proceeded to try and figure out what the child's punishment was (if any) and she was dismayed to hear "it was handled" giving her NO satisfaction to her request. The MIL then told Lucky Wife that she "just feels better talking about it" to which Lucky Wife replied that she was at work and she would have to find someone else to talk to.

Unfortunately this conversation has NOT hindered her plans to visit us in 2 weeks.

Twlight zone

I entered a parallel universe yesterday...

Yesterday, hubby and I were having a small tiff, I guess. He's on edge, something seems "off" to him, but he's not sure what it is. Eh... so anyways...

Little P and I left for church, but at some point between leaving the house and returning, I somewhere entered a worm hole to a parallel universe... For when I arrived, my husbands mustache and goatee of 6+ years, the facial hair of which I love, the facial hair that made Little P remark that now he looked like a "REAL DADDY" the facial hair that binded us in a contract that while his hair remained on his face, my hair remained long... WAS GONE.

He's hoping that he just needed a change to take the uneasy feeling away.

I am frightened and confused (and scheduling a hair appt)...

that was the only close I could find on shot notice, since I really should be in the shower by now... I took that pic just as we hit a bump on the hayride...

News from the home front

1. No baby decision has been made, not that one was scheduled to be made yet... but in case you were wondering... no decision.
2. Hubby is back to work and has been transferred to the Engineering Dept. which is an awesome thing.
3. Today is my dad's birthday... He's 63, today is also my friend Penny's birthday she's 49, not that any of this matters to you. You may find it interesting that I dread this phone call... Why? Well, it is just such a painful call at times... I will post our dialogue later, you'll see.
4. I completely lost it on my daughter this morning...After I woke her 472 times, she finally dressed and went back to sleep, then I yelled and screamed and she brushed her teeth and hair and went to watch TV, I stomped, screamed, snarled and snorted and she finally put her shoes, coat and backpack on. When I went outside she was REFUSING to get in the back seat because Sissy was in the front (it's a 2 door) It was at that moment that I said:

Get in the car

Get in the car

Get in the car!!!

Which echoed off every hill, and down every hollow in the county...

Great start to the day...

just can't make any sense of my feelings

ok, blog sisters... I really need you here... I have previously mentioned the idea of having another baby... but it was really all talk and no action... Until recently.

Hubby took me out to lunch(that should have been my first clue) and toward the end of our meal he said "We need to talk" oh great, I'm thinking, what did I screw up now? "I've been thinking about this for a while now and I do want to have another baby, now I don't want you to make any decisions right away, just think about it" ok sure, I'll think about it...

Here's the problem, my decision changes with the wind. One day I feel all maternal and lovey and we took our girls to the library and hubby picked out a book "Preconception diet, Boy-Diet A, Girl-Diet B" which was fine until I saw that it was written in 1982,and it said "based on recent discoveries about the use of alcohol during pregnancy, we have omitted them from the diet" and the first day mentions Cow Tongue...Sorry sweet heart, I don't love you that much.

Then the wind blows and I remember that I have a (almost)12 yr old and 9 yr old. So that means when the new baby FINALLY starts kindergarten, the girls will be juniors and freshmen in HS. Seriously?

Then, directional wind change... we have 2 girls, and I would guess if we only had boys that I would long for a girl... Would I? Not June, do you ever wished your had gone one more time to get a girl? Stacy? any regrets ladies? I NEED TO KNOW!

Quite frankly, and I know this is might sound strange, but I am way more in love with my hubby now than when we had babies... we were still kids our selves... (I was 22 and 25 when they were born) I think experiencing having a child with this man would be exciting... and completely different from the first two, when he thought I had aliens in my belly and didn't even want to feel them kick...

And then I feel like Lynette from Desperate housewives after she found out she was pregnant... Here watch Hormones

I sometimes feel like I am too old to have more, and then realize that the reason I hang out with woman 10-15 years older than me is because we have the same ages kids and they all started at my age... Started... See I had my two girls at age 22 and age 25, I am now 34... Which I am having a hard time gripping with that I am not too old... I actually had convinced myself that it was too late... Door shut... seems it never got shut all the way...

How does anyone PLAN to have a child? I am a train wreck... My thoughts are scrambled, as is this post (sorry) One day I am ready to just let God bless me in what ever way he sees fit, and then the next I think... yeah right... have you not seen the sense of humor he has? He'll bless me alright, with twins and before you know it, I have have 3 more...

I just can't make any sense of my feelings, hormones, maternal desires... Do I want this, or do I want this for Hubby? Will I resent him? Will I flourish?

**Sigh**

I truly don't know what I want.