3:16

I wake up in the middle of the night, blink open my eyes and look at the time 3:16am… My brain foggy, and my eyes closing, I faintly recall thinking to myself “For God so loved the World…”

Up again a couple hours later and I am in the truck while my husband drives me 10 hours to my dad’s funeral. Nothing seems real, the highway passes by in a blur, tears escape from my eyes and I can barely eat. I can’t think about it, I have to set my mind on other things just to function.

 A week later and I am home, back to work and back to school as though nothing has changed. I wish I could wear some sort of ceremonial ribbon, or veil so that the outside world could understand that I am broken… Instead, when acquaintances asks “how are you?” I struggle with how to be honest, without breaking down, or without sounding like I am looking for some sort of pity party. Sometime I can manage to say “I lost my dad recently”, some days I can’t say anything and just nod that I’m fine. I sit in my car preparing myself to walk into the bank and respond to those pleasantries, I look at the clock, 3:16 “…that he gave his only begotten son…”

A month has passed already, I have been an orphan for a month now, or at least that how it feels. Incomplete. Broken. I just can’t come to terms with the fact that I will NEVER get to talk to him again. WHY was I such a chicken, why didn’t I just come out and ask him… “Dad, are you going to heaven, you know we are all sinners, right? No one better or worse than anyone else” I lay awake at night praying for his eternal life, I have to believe that he was saved, I couldn’t bear to think otherwise. How long have I been awake? The time taunts me 3:16 “that who so ever shall believeth in me…”

Two months now have passed; I am defining time between before dad died and after dad died. Will I count time like this forever? Just one last chance to tell him I love him, that’s all I want. Just one last chance to tell him that Jesus loves him. I walk out to another office at work to ask a question, when I turn the corner displayed on dual screens in huge 10 inch letter reads 3:16 “…shall not perish but have everlasting life.” It hits me like a brick wall… All this time, he was trying to tell me, your dad is with me.

I sleep all night for the first time.

2 things

There are 2 things that even after 16 years of marriage my husband and I will never agree on: napping and the thermostat.
Napping: My husband is a napper, he like to nap from time to time... I am NOT a napper, but over the years have accepted the notion that an occasional nap is something that he enjoys. The problem is, location, location, location... He want to fall asleep and nap in the middle of the living room, ok fine, but then everyone else in the family (including the kids) are supposed to tiptoe and whisper during the napping process. Then, if we speak too loud, he grumbles... GO TO THE BEDROOM! lock your self in, noone will bother you, noone will talk too loud, noone gets ice from the freezer in there, we don't let the dogs in and out of the house from there... but for some reason, that ruins the napping experience...
Thermostat: That man is always COLD! Yes, I said it right, HE is always COLD. I am always hot, and miserable, he is cold and his bones hurt... so he says. Do you think I am exgagerating? In the winter, I have compromised in keeping the thermostat at 74 degrees... yes 74. Me?? I would like it at 70, hubby would prefer it at 78, and I have caught him inching it there from time to time.

I don't see this as a point of conflict, I see it as a balance... because this past sunday, he fell asleep in my lap, and I was forced to slow down. I tend to make the house so cold that peopel are uncomfortable, he would keep it bathing suit temp, so we balance...
On things I am strict, he is lax and vise versa... I am so thankful for him and all the things we don't agree on.

Blessing Gathering #1

This gathering was #1 for a couple reasons... It was officially my very first gathering ever and ONE peson showed up. I was a little bummed, but it actually ended up being a nice evening. My neighbor stopped over, I told her it seemed she would be the ONLY one, and we proceeded to visit, I went through my presentation, worked out a few bugs and feel ready for the BIG one on saturday morning.  Then, not only did she place an order, she offered to do a book show and take it to work where it will be exposed to 30+ woman. When she told her work friends where she was going they all said... Ohhh what's Blessings Unlimited???  She said " I have no idea, but will find out!
As for my Saturday pary, I expect about a dozen people to show... I know what bugs I need to work out and am excited.
Have you checked it out?
www.myblessingsunlimited.net/jordan

Blah

Sorry I haven't written in a while...
Last Friday, the flood gate opened and I cried for HOURS... It was the first time I let myself cry since my dad died. I spent the weekend catching up on all teh house work that had been neglected from having guests the past 2 weekends. It started raining Monday and hasn't stopped yet.
Now I am fighting off a cold... yuck.

My first Blessings Unlimied Gathering is tomorrow... wish me luck!

Blessings Unlimited Announcement

It is offical.
I am an independent consultant for Blessings Unlimited.
Blessings Unlimited was founded in 2006 by DaySpring© Inc., the world's leading producer of Christian greeting cards and gifts.
The name Blessings Unlimited is based on this Scripture from John:
From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another. John 1:16 NIV

Blessings Unlimited is still not widely known, which means, I am the only consultant in East Tennessee. Finally a new product on the market!!!!

Check out my personal Blessings website, look through the catalog, and email me to set up your own gathering (party) September's hostess incentive is double rewards!!! There isn't a better time to schedule! You could decorate your home, or use all your free and 1/2 product to start your Christmas shopping!

www.myblessingsunlimited.net/jordan

siblings - business - kids

Sooo... what's been happening? I am unsure of what i am gonna write about today so, bear with me as I babble along until I come up with something interesting...
My hubby's brother, his wife and 3 yr old boy are coming to visit today. I am surprised and excited. Surprised because I am always inviting them to come down and leave the inlaws behind, not that I don't love them, it would just be nice to hang out as siblings but never have in 6 yrs. Well, they called up and said "how about this weekend?" and we said "Great!"
I have about 15 different ideas on things we could do... I'll just have to wait until they get here to decide... my ideas are :
Take the whole family on a train ride through the mountians
Head out to Cade's Cove
Take the sister in law painting, or all 4 of us and let my girls babysit!
Have a cookout and invite a bunch of people...
Ok, so really 4 ideas...
Teen A is starting cheerleading which I think is great!
Preteen P (formally known as Little P) is going to play the flute in band... (I loved band, so excited)
And I am considering on venturing into a new business, I am fact gathering about a couple of them right now... soo no hints. But when I decide... it will be a grand anouncement.

BFF, Painting, MaryKay and no tears!

What an awesome weekend, and just what I needed.... Several weeks ago, my BFF planned to come from Ohio to Tenn to visit for a weekend... Due the the changing circumstances, we talked about postponing the weekend, I consuled hubby and he said "Have her come, you need it" He was SO right!
She has recently started selling Mary Kay, so first thing Saturday morning we had a MaryKay party which was alot of fun, and she did a fantasic job. I only wish I could've provided her with more sales!

Once that was finished we headed downtown to Knoxville's Market Square... It's a pedestrian area of entertainment, reasaurants and boutiques. It's also my favorite place in Knoxville.

Then we went to Sips and Strokes For a VERY reasonable price, you are given a 16 x 20 canvas, all the supplies possibly needed and a step by step walk through to creating a beautiful oil painting. It was an absolute blast! You can bring any beverage/snack of choice... the instructor was funny and every painting there looked different and beautiful all at the same time.

She left on Sunday morning and I spent the entire day in my nightgown watching movies and doing laundry. Hubby and I watched the movie Country Strong and I bawled at the end, I thought it was just heart wrenching.

I then realized that the day I spent with BFF on Saturday was the only day I haven't cried since dad died.