The everyday hills and valleys of life.

Tragedy & Sadness

2011-12-12T14:43:00.001-05:00

Tragedy - Sunday after Thanksgiving, I ventured to the Sunday night service... the youth pastor is speaking tonight about letting God's love shine through you. 5am the next morning, hubby calls to say our friend's son shot himself, he is alive. These friends are more like acquaintances... they are not always easy to love. As I race to the hospital I pray... "God, let them see your love through me, let them see your mercy and grace and use me to show them your unconditional love... God let them see your love through me..." The entire family goes to see him almost every night... They say, you've done enough, you don't have too, and I know that, but it's not me showing them this love, like I said, I find them difficult to love sometimes, but God doesn't. He has simply answered my prayer and so I go with a loving heart that I am not capable of. He is healing physically, I hope spiritually as well. 2 1/2 weeks later, he may get to come home Tuesday... Pray for him and his family.

Sadness - The sadness has been a bit overwhelming lately, I thought I was healing, I wasn't crying over the loss of my dad daily anymore... but then, it crept back in and took hold. Only it's not daily, it's multiple times a day... I can't explain it. Hubby doesn't understand it, or... or is the sadness more than grief? I can't tell... I feel "ok" when I deliberately set my mind on other things, but at the slightest memory, my eyes fill with tears and I began deep breathes to hold it in... Am I grieving loss? Regret? Guilt? Or is it just the first Holiday?

Who's Buying?

2011-11-28T14:17:00.001-05:00

Over Thanksgiving weekend we were decorating for Christmas and my Little P (Age 11) says to me:

P – Mommy you are just gonna have to tell me whether or not Santa Clause is real because one day I am going to have my own family and I need to know if I need to buy toys or if Santa is going to bring them.

I’ll give you a minute to roll on the floor cracking up

M- Is there something you need to tell me???

P – NO!

M- When you stop believing, Santa stops delivering.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T13:05:00.001-05:00

Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way!

Give thanks, even for the fleas. (The Hiding Place)

The very thing you are seeking deliverence from could be the same thing that is delivering you!

Christmas Sale!

2011-11-16T16:39:00.001-05:00

There is a HUGE sale going on at Blessings Unlimited... Check out the amazing deals and Christmas gift ideas... The Cake platters are 8" 10" & 12" all the pillows are Covers and the apron has the same pattern as the vase next to it. You can contact me on my website at:

www.myblessingsunlimited.net/jordan

or jnframpton@hotmail.com

Moms - could you weigh in here?

2011-11-14T13:48:00.001-05:00

Does anyone else randomly burst into tears at the memory of picking up your smiling, drooling, chubby baby even though she is 11 yrs old? Or cry the entire way back to the office after you pick up your 14 yr old from school and drop her off at home, only to here her say "pooey"when you have to leave?
Or when your teen plays "Mary had a little lamb" on her flute for the first time? Or cheers at her first game?

I burst into tears when my daughter got a Birthday Card from my step-mom and I saw that my dad's name was excluded. Not that I expected it to be there, but then at the same time, it's absence was overwhelming.

Is this residual grief from losing my dad?

I've always done this, but not to the extent I am experiencing it now.

Just trying to figure out if this is relativly "normal" or at a"seek counceling" phase...

3:16

2011-10-04T09:05:00.004-04:00

I wake up in the middle of the night, blink open my eyes and look at the time 3:16am… My brain foggy, and my eyes closing, I faintly recall thinking to myself “For God so loved the World…”

Up again a couple hours later and I am in the truck while my husband drives me 10 hours to my dad’s funeral. Nothing seems real, the highway passes by in a blur, tears escape from my eyes and I can barely eat. I can’t think about it, I have to set my mind on other things just to function.

A week later and I am home, back to work and back to school as though nothing has changed. I wish I could wear some sort of ceremonial ribbon, or veil so that the outside world could understand that I am broken… Instead, when acquaintances asks “how are you?” I struggle with how to be honest, without breaking down, or without sounding like I am looking for some sort of pity party. Sometime I can manage to say “I lost my dad recently”, some days I can’t say anything and just nod that I’m fine. I sit in my car preparing myself to walk into the bank and respond to those pleasantries, I look at the clock, 3:16 “…that he gave his only begotten son…”

A month has passed already, I have been an orphan for a month now, or at least that how it feels. Incomplete. Broken. I just can’t come to terms with the fact that I will NEVER get to talk to him again. WHY was I such a chicken, why didn’t I just come out and ask him… “Dad, are you going to heaven, you know we are all sinners, right? No one better or worse than anyone else” I lay awake at night praying for his eternal life, I have to believe that he was saved, I couldn’t bear to think otherwise. How long have I been awake? The time taunts me 3:16 “that who so ever shall believeth in me…”

Two months now have passed; I am defining time between before dad died and after dad died. Will I count time like this forever? Just one last chance to tell him I love him, that’s all I want. Just one last chance to tell him that Jesus loves him. I walk out to another office at work to ask a question, when I turn the corner displayed on dual screens in huge 10 inch letter reads 3:16 “…shall not perish but have everlasting life.” It hits me like a brick wall… All this time, he was trying to tell me, your dad is with me.

I sleep all night for the first time.

2 things

2011-09-15T11:01:00.001-04:00

There are 2 things that even after 16 years of marriage my husband and I will never agree on: napping and the thermostat.
Napping: My husband is a napper, he like to nap from time to time... I am NOT a napper, but over the years have accepted the notion that an occasional nap is something that he enjoys. The problem is, location, location, location... He want to fall asleep and nap in the middle of the living room, ok fine, but then everyone else in the family (including the kids) are supposed to tiptoe and whisper during the napping process. Then, if we speak too loud, he grumbles... GO TO THE BEDROOM! lock your self in, noone will bother you, noone will talk too loud, noone gets ice from the freezer in there, we don't let the dogs in and out of the house from there... but for some reason, that ruins the napping experience...
Thermostat: That man is always COLD! Yes, I said it right, HE is always COLD. I am always hot, and miserable, he is cold and his bones hurt... so he says. Do you think I am exgagerating? In the winter, I have compromised in keeping the thermostat at 74 degrees... yes 74. Me?? I would like it at 70, hubby would prefer it at 78, and I have caught him inching it there from time to time.

I don't see this as a point of conflict, I see it as a balance... because this past sunday, he fell asleep in my lap, and I was forced to slow down. I tend to make the house so cold that peopel are uncomfortable, he would keep it bathing suit temp, so we balance...
On things I am strict, he is lax and vise versa... I am so thankful for him and all the things we don't agree on.

Blessing Gathering #1

2011-09-09T06:01:00.003-04:00

This gathering was #1 for a couple reasons... It was officially my very first gathering ever and ONE peson showed up. I was a little bummed, but it actually ended up being a nice evening. My neighbor stopped over, I told her it seemed she would be the ONLY one, and we proceeded to visit, I went through my presentation, worked out a few bugs and feel ready for the BIG one on saturday morning. Then, not only did she place an order, she offered to do a book show and take it to work where it will be exposed to 30+ woman. When she told her work friends where she was going they all said... Ohhh what's Blessings Unlimited??? She said " I have no idea, but will find out!
As for my Saturday pary, I expect about a dozen people to show... I know what bugs I need to work out and am excited.
Have you checked it out?
www.myblessingsunlimited.net/jordan

Blah

2011-09-07T08:42:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't written in a while...
Last Friday, the flood gate opened and I cried for HOURS... It was the first time I let myself cry since my dad died. I spent the weekend catching up on all teh house work that had been neglected from having guests the past 2 weekends. It started raining Monday and hasn't stopped yet.
Now I am fighting off a cold... yuck.

My first Blessings Unlimied Gathering is tomorrow... wish me luck!

Blessings Unlimited Announcement

2011-09-01T05:39:00.003-04:00

It is offical.
I am an independent consultant for Blessings Unlimited.
Blessings Unlimited was founded in 2006 by DaySpring© Inc., the world's leading producer of Christian greeting cards and gifts.
The name Blessings Unlimited is based on this Scripture from John:
From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another. John 1:16 NIV

Blessings Unlimited is still not widely known, which means, I am the only consultant in East Tennessee. Finally a new product on the market!!!!

Check out my personal Blessings website, look through the catalog, and email me to set up your own gathering (party) September's hostess incentive is double rewards!!! There isn't a better time to schedule! You could decorate your home, or use all your free and 1/2 product to start your Christmas shopping!

www.myblessingsunlimited.net/jordan

siblings - business - kids

2011-08-25T05:51:00.003-04:00

Sooo... what's been happening? I am unsure of what i am gonna write about today so, bear with me as I babble along until I come up with something interesting...
My hubby's brother, his wife and 3 yr old boy are coming to visit today. I am surprised and excited. Surprised because I am always inviting them to come down and leave the inlaws behind, not that I don't love them, it would just be nice to hang out as siblings but never have in 6 yrs. Well, they called up and said "how about this weekend?" and we said "Great!"
I have about 15 different ideas on things we could do... I'll just have to wait until they get here to decide... my ideas are :
Take the whole family on a train ride through the mountians
Head out to Cade's Cove
Take the sister in law painting, or all 4 of us and let my girls babysit!
Have a cookout and invite a bunch of people...
Ok, so really 4 ideas...
Teen A is starting cheerleading which I think is great!
Preteen P (formally known as Little P) is going to play the flute in band... (I loved band, so excited)
And I am considering on venturing into a new business, I am fact gathering about a couple of them right now... soo no hints. But when I decide... it will be a grand anouncement.

BFF, Painting, MaryKay and no tears!

2011-08-22T05:45:00.004-04:00

What an awesome weekend, and just what I needed.... Several weeks ago, my BFF planned to come from Ohio to Tenn to visit for a weekend... Due the the changing circumstances, we talked about postponing the weekend, I consuled hubby and he said "Have her come, you need it" He was SO right!
She has recently started selling Mary Kay, so first thing Saturday morning we had a MaryKay party which was alot of fun, and she did a fantasic job. I only wish I could've provided her with more sales!

Once that was finished we headed downtown to Knoxville's Market Square... It's a pedestrian area of entertainment, reasaurants and boutiques. It's also my favorite place in Knoxville.

Then we went to Sips and Strokes For a VERY reasonable price, you are given a 16 x 20 canvas, all the supplies possibly needed and a step by step walk through to creating a beautiful oil painting. It was an absolute blast! You can bring any beverage/snack of choice... the instructor was funny and every painting there looked different and beautiful all at the same time.

She left on Sunday morning and I spent the entire day in my nightgown watching movies and doing laundry. Hubby and I watched the movie Country Strong and I bawled at the end, I thought it was just heart wrenching.

I then realized that the day I spent with BFF on Saturday was the only day I haven't cried since dad died.

Hubby

2011-08-19T15:14:00.002-04:00

Yet another reason why I love my husband:

The day we returned to work after my dad passed one of hubby's co-workers approached him and said "Sorry to hear about your father-in-law... Did he leave you anything?"

My husband looked at him square in the eye and said "Yes. His daughter"

I can't even type that without tearing up, don't worry dad, I'm in good hands.

2011-08-18T05:40:00.004-04:00

My dad.

I am back home, and back to work. Everything regarding my dad's funeral went really well. Everything was beautiful and all 6 of us kids/step & half got along beautifully.

I feel like there is a piece of my heart missing. I cry all the time. I miss him so much.

I am finding out things that I never knew, that I am sure he found insignificant, like the fact that once a week he went to the local F.I.S.H. food pantry and bagged groceries and carried them to people's cars.

I am sure many of you are OVER hearing me grieve my dad, but you are just gonna have to suffer for a while... One of these days, I be back to my silly, sarcastic self.

I will leave you with this... a letter written to us by someone who knew my dad:

Please pass my sympathy along to Joe Owen's daughter.
I cannot express enough my fond feelings and memories of Joe and the calmness that he was able to bring my busy life while I was at Hill International. Joe was a truly a man that I respect for his professionalism as well as his true concern for others. On very stressful days Joe was able to spot this and knew the right thing to say or do to assist me thru these times.
Once on a day where I thought I was near the end of my rope, Joe said to me "wait right there, I have something to help you". He then left my office for a few minutes and returned with a plaque that had the serenity prayer on it. Joe advised me to read it whenever I felt that the stress to go on was overwhelming.
Well, it now hangs in my home office a forever reminder of this great man whom passed thru my life's journey.....never to be forgotten. I am sure there are many stories of how this wonderful man touched lives that his family never knew and only kept alive in the hearts he touched.
With heartfelt respect,
Joe M

Couponing Class

2011-08-15T06:50:00.004-04:00

I am thinking of holding a little couponing class, get together... So far I've had 2 friends ask me to help them get organized and figure it all out.
So if you are in the S. Knoxville area, or within driving distance... would you want to come over and set up your coupon binder?
I am actually thinking about doing it tuesday night.
If you want to come, email me at jnframpton@hotmail.com... (i"ll give you my address)
Bring the family, the men can watch tv, the kids can play... and us women (or men) can get our savings on!

dad

2011-08-10T10:26:00.002-04:00

My dad lost his battle on earth yesterday. I am trying to rejoice in his arrival to the arms of our Lord, bu I really just want him here.

Prayer Request for my dad

2011-08-09T11:13:00.001-04:00

Last month my dad was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. His health has been spiraling downward at a rapid pace because he has continued his unhealthy lifestyle. If he would change, the disease’s progression could slow down or stop.

Wednesday, August 10th at 11:30 he has another Doctor’s appt. His Dr is planning on explaining that he is NOT a “Dead Man Walking” as he proclaims. He does have options, there is help, and there are programs available.

I feel like this is could be the last opportunity for my dad to be rescued from this addiction. He is going to need to overwhelmingly feel the spirit of the Lord, and together, with your help, I believe we can do that.

I am asking all my Brothers and Sisters in Christ to take just 1-5 minutes (on Wednesday Aug 10th at 11:30) and pray with me for my dad. We may not be united physically, but we can be united spiritually. Please pray for his salvation, for a friend for him, for his heart to soften and hear the doctor's plea, for courage and strength to fight, for respect for his own life...

Jordan

Back to school... and Dad

2011-08-07T21:56:00.004-04:00

EEK! My kids come home today! I know they had a blast in Florida the past 2 weeks with O'ma, and hubby and I had a great time reconnecting with each other, but oh I have missed them and and can't wait to have them home.

Went to a new church yesterday... we loved our old church, but it was so far away we couldn't get involved... So we started looking at the small community churches close to home. OF COURSE, there was a guest speaker there today... but I am looking forward to going back next Sunday.

It seems my dad is deteriorating quickly... He doesn't eat, he only drinks, he has lost a ton of weight and I am told he is very skinny, his belly is swollen, he sleeps 11-15 hrs a day and as of this past Thursday his eyes are showing signs of jaundice. He feels as though he is a "dead man walking" the damage is done and he has no options. He has a Doctor's appt on Thursday and the Dr. is once again going to try to explain that he DOES have an option, he HAS to stop drinking and there are programs and facilities to help him.

SO Thursday's post is going to be a prayer for my dad. For his salvation, for a friend for him, for his heart to soften and hear the doctor's plea, for courage and strength to fight, for respect for his own life...

What I am asking is for everyone who reads this, pray for my dad Thursday, email it to you prayer warriors, link it on your blog, call you best friend... He is going to need to overwhelmingly feel the spirit of the Lord, and together, with your help, I believe we can do that.

Juliet

2011-08-04T05:58:00.004-04:00

It's thursday...

I've been in real estate class for 2 days

I am officially a REALTOR.

I am not prepared to write Couponing: Lesson 3

So I am going to share some pictures of the German Shepard we adopted from the animal shelter, Juliet.

I had some pictures of her now, all 70lbs of her, trying to wrestle a 10ft stick, but the internet bleeped as I was trying to upload those pics this morning, and then I had to run to work...

Another Dad update

2011-08-02T05:42:00.004-04:00

My brother is in Ohio on a family visiting vacation. He is the first one of us 3 kids to see dad since he got sick, since Dad is in Ohio, My brother lives in Virginia, my sister is in Florida and me of course in TN.
He was shocked to see the deterioration of my dad's health, he said his arms and legs are very skinny but his belly large swollen to the point that it looked hard. When my brother arrived at 11am, my dad was just waking up from bed, ate a half a crab cake and nothing else the entire time he was there (4-5 hrs). My dad was very emotional, believes he is dying, believes that he has no options, and believes that he is to blame for his illness. He kept telling my brother he has Liver Cancer, when we all know that it's cirrhosis... i think he just can't bring himself to say it.
Yesterday I received a txt from my brother stating that us 3 kids needed to have a conference call. Obviously regarding my dad, but what part... no idea.
Then I received a txt stating that he was going to see dad's dr tomorrow at 9:30 and what question did we have? Honestly, my only two questions are: Can you help him with the pain? How long do I have left with him?
I went to Al-Anon last night. I managed to introduce myself, but that was it. "my name's Lucky" and they said "Hi Lucky" I had a huge lump on my throat the entire meeting, eyes brimming with tears, I didn't say a word and as soon as the meeting was over, I RAN for my car and bawled. A few minutes later, i heard a tap tap on my window, one of the people from inside said "My first 6 weeks, I came to meeting didn't utter a word, and cried in my car afterwards. Keep coming back" Funny, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Couponing: Lesson 2

2011-07-31T18:21:00.005-04:00

So... Did everyone have fun putting together your binder? Clipping your coupons, and organizing them? Well.... I DID!

The pencil pouch is a great place for scissers, calculator, and store coupons.

The pile is getting big!

Make sure you fold you coupons so that you can see the important information...

The next thing you need to know is... what IS a really good rock bottom price for something?

Click here for an excellent guideline... and put it in your binder.

Now if you heeded my warning, you didn't run to the store with your coupons yet...

If you DID, let me guess what happened....

Wisk laundry detergent for 6.99 with a 2.00 off coupon makes it $4.99 but the generic is only 3.99! ARGGHHHH Couponing is stupid!

Am I Right?

This is where patience comes in... and a change to your ways of shopping...

I had 2.00 off 1 bottle of Wisk laundry detergent coupons... and they sat in my binder, and sat and sat and sat until one fateful day when they were on sale for $3.35 per bottle less my 2.00 off coupon and wha-lah I paid 1.35 for a bottle of laundry detergent!

Now - THIS is when you do NOT buy one bottle, you buy as many as the store will allow with as many coupons as you possess, why? Because you USE laundry detergent, and in 2 weeks when you need another bottle, it will NOT be on sale and you WILL pay 5-7 dollars for it. If you buy several, then by the time your stock has gotten low, something else will be at a rock bottom price. Get it? I was able to buy 5 bottles of detergent for what someone would normally spend on one!

Your goal this week, do your regular shopping but find 3-5 totally amazing rock bottom deals and by enough of that product that will last you a few cycles. Then next week do the same, as time goes on and you start learning how and when to buy certian products... You will get more bang for your buck.

Helpful sources:

http://www.krazycouponlady.com/

http://www.southernsavers.com/

http://www.time2saveworkshop.com/

Couponing: Lesson 1

2011-07-29T16:34:00.003-04:00

Ok Folks... Do you really wanna learn how to coupon?

Things you MUST have to get started...

First:
One 3 ring binder
One set of baseball card holders, found at walmart with the pokemon/baseball cards.

Second:
There will be 4 coupon inserts in this Sunday's paper... Get MORE than ONE! If you are in a single house hold, at least buy 2, if you have a family of 4, buy 5.

Third:
Download these dividers to organize the coupons... You will spend the the MOST time setting up your binder the first time and then less and less there after. (if you happen to be of the Male persuasion, You can create something a little more masculine)

Sunday, right after church, and your belly is full, Cut clip and organize... One tip, take all the like coupons, (page one from each insert) Line then up and cut once... You follow me?

Ok, Once that is done, DO NOT run to the store yet... We will talk again on Monday. Have a great weekend!

Mom, Dad, Kids...

2011-07-28T05:49:00.004-04:00

Somethings going on right now...
Talked to my Dad, asked how he was doing... "not great, I hurt all over, and am in a lot of pain". At the same time he is elusive about the cirrhosis, almost as though if he admits to it, then we will find out he drinks too much. I really think he doesn't think we know.
So hubby's upbringing is that of a story book, so I sent him a text (yes a text) asking if he had ever heard of al-anon, he replied, "WHO'S that?" sigh... I explained that it was a support group for family members of alcholics, and that I was thinking about going... I'm not sure he quite understands.
Funny thing is, I wouldn't have even told him if I didn't need to explain where I was going... Telling him that I wanted to go, took me weeks to get the courage to mention it. I also realized if that was that hard for me, I can't imagine how hard it would be for my dad to try AA.

Enough of that for now...

I broke my pinky toe Sunday, I WILL spare you pictures. I was reaching for something on the back of the kitchen counter, pulled my arm forward and knocked my hubby's foot log, 37lb mag lite flashlight on my toe. It was swollen and purple in 60 seconds. I still can't get shoes on and have been wearing flip flops to work... Really wish I had a pedicure recently!

My girls are in Florida with O'ma (my mom) she took them to the mall for some school shopping and texted me and asked
O'Ma - "What happened to my princesses? They want ugly clunky shoes"
Me - "The princess spell was broken when they hit puberty"
O'Ma - "That's why they kept the Disney princess locked in the tower for so long"

Haha YES! I just want to lock mine in the tower 1 week a month... Good Grief!

Giveaway...

2011-07-27T08:18:00.001-04:00

Hey ladies... One of my fellow bloggers is having an amazing giveaway!

It's an entire set of thirtyone.com goodies... If you comment, or follow her (she is trying to reach 100) you will be entered to win. Hurry up, you only have a few days left!

Click here to enter.

Delivery

2011-07-26T10:07:00.004-04:00

I heart Snail Mail...

I'm Back!!!

2011-07-25T05:49:00.005-04:00

I was on vacation last week, I should have told you guys... but on top of getting ready for vacation, my in-laws blessed me with their presence up until the DAY WE LEFT! I was getting work stuff ready and still digesting the news about my dad's health.

Enjoy some vacation photos... It's Monday, my first day back and I am running behind...

Worthy enough?

2011-07-12T13:46:00.003-04:00

In January 1984, as my parents were tucking me into bed, they announced that they were getting a divorce. It was the first time I saw my dad cry. The next day it was the first time I realized that not all dad's drink.
In April 1984 my mom was remarried and we moved to a new town.
In July 1984, Not to be outdone by my mom, my dad remarried and moved his new family into my old house.
In Septemeber I entered the middle school, and on top of going through the normal pains of adolsence, I was the first person I ever heard of who's parents got divorced and remarried, and had step-parent, step-siblings, new grandparents and aunt and uncles... the whole thing was quite confusing.
I received a flyer to sign up for big brother/big sister... OH how I wanted someone to talk to, other than my m - o - m. I mean really, what could she POSSIBLY understand??? Unfornatually, it required a parents permission to sign up. When I mentioned it, my mom was appalled! I was told my life was not SO BAD... there are alot of people out there with it much worse than you... I can't say that I disagreed, but it didn't make the hurt I was going through any less. I believed that I could be taking the place of someone who "really" needed it.
Fast Forward 7 yrs...
My step dad was drinking and driving and killed in a car accident.
Fast Forward 20 yrs...
I have looked up alanon many times over the years, but could never get myself to actually go... The same feelings from 1984 emerged, that i didn't have it AS bad as some, and my grief/saddness wasn't worthy of attending.
The desire to connect and attend is stronger then it's ever been. I have looked up meetings, mapquested the locations, checked my schedule... but, what if I show up, share my story/grief/experience and the others, the ones who REALLY need it look at me and say... "That's it? That's all you got? Please sister, you don't know HOW good you had it" and once again my feelings are dismissed as invalid.

Dad

2011-07-11T05:45:00.003-04:00

Just to let you know, I finally heard from my friend in Qatar... She has had no technology access, and when she finally got email access, she had a million to go through... So she is there, safe and sound...

Just when I though I could breathe easier about that... I got a sucker punch to the gut.
Juy 1st - May dad called, he wanted to tell me that he had a bunch of tests and surgery/procedure done the week before. He wasn't going to tell me anything until he got the results of the test, but my step-mom slipped and mentioned something to my brother. He knew I'd be upset if I heard second-hand (and he was right) so he wanted to let me know that it took place, but he was not going to tell me what he had done, not until the results came back in another week. Since he's 64, I'm thinking prostate...
July 8th - I waited all day for his call, at 5pm on my wayto show a house I decide to call. He won't tell me, and hands the phone off to my step-mom. He has cirrhosis of the liver. He is already coughing up blood, and...
...and unless he makes and extreme lifestyle change, the disease will progress very quickly.
I can assure you he has no plans to make any changes, and more than anything in the world, what breaks my heart more than anything...I just wish he valued his life as much as I value his life.

Uhhh

2011-07-07T05:54:00.004-04:00

I'm not really prepared for 2 posts in a row...

Since yesterday's post was "reflective" today will be not so deep.

My friend moved to Doha, Qatar, her flight left on July 4th, and I have yet to hear from her. All I want is a simple "Yes we landed" "yes we arrived safely" SOMETHING!

We haven't lived near each other in years, but we have always had the same schedule, so we talked in the morning during our commute to work at least 3 times a week.

Now she is 7 hours ahead of us, so at 7am, when I am driving to work, it is 2pm there and she'll be working, at 5pm when I am driving home it will be midnight her time.

I miss her more than she knows. Sigh.

Ok ok ok, I'm whining...

My babies come home from Ohio on Sunday, I am excited to see them... In fact, they even made me laugh today...
It seems Little P left her facebook open, so Teen A updated her status to " I like poop" Several hours and tons of strange comments later Little P Wrote "Sister, Im a gonna kill you!"
Bahahahaaaaa

Long weekends...

2011-07-06T06:03:00.003-04:00

I completely missed my monday post, and then let tuesday slip through my fingers as well. So you get to hear from me today and (hopefully) again tomorrow! Yipee!

So... I only had ONE person respond to my "What's the most amazing thing you ever saw?" question. Wow... Did you read what she wrote in the comments? You should.

I have seen some amazing sights in my life, historic buildings, natural wonders, and the birth of my babies. But while I was thinking about my own question, it came to this... What have I had an opportunity to see that most others have not. The answer then became clear.

2003, I worked at Kennedy Space Center, I watched my first Shuttle Launch from work, the closest you can get... It was spectacular. Unfornatually that same shuttle never returned. Months and months after the recovery and investigation, employees were given an opportunity few people could imagine. You see, each piece of the shuttle was returned to KSC and placed in a warehouse where a grid was taped out on the floor, each piece was retured to it's original location within the grid. We got to tour the wreckage. It was very emotional.

As you are walking around the grid of wreckage, there are notes to explain what you are looking at, and then as I came around a corner, I saw something that I will never forget, and brought me to tears. They displayed the whiteboard where the children and spouses wrote notes to their loved ones. I can't remember the specific words, but there was adult handwriting to "Be Safe" and childrens handwriting "I'll miss you daddy"

The sight of the Shuttle Columbia left me speechless, the haunting words of the surviving family members brought me to tears.

- Rick D. Husband - Commander
- William C. McCool - Pilot
- Michael P. Anderson
- David M. Brown
- Kalpana Chawla
- Laurel Clark
- Ilan Ramon - first Israeli in space

Question

2011-06-30T05:53:00.007-04:00

What is the most amazing thing you ever saw?

Was it one of nature?

Was it of the miracle of life?

Was it a historical event?

Share with me your stories... I want to know, What is the most amazing thing you ever saw?

P.S. Irrational fear #4 - I have crazy wicked allergies and often can NOT breathe even the slightest bit through my nose. So, my crazy fear... is that some crazy maniac, will gag me, assuming that I'd be able to breathe through my nose and then I'll suffocate accidentaly. Yea, I'm nuts, I know.

A Neeewwww Car!

2011-06-27T05:55:00.004-04:00

Well, new to me anyways...
If you've been reading a while, you'll know that I have had a love/hate relationship with my car for some time. On the love side, it's paid off. On the hate side, it's a 2 door and a whole laundry list of cosmetic and mechanicial "hick-ups" and 170K miles.
So one of my very best friends is moving to Qatar, yes, quite literally half way around the world. She had to sell her car, and since I really needed one, she offered it to me at an incredible price. She currently lives 5.5 hrs away, so this weekend we both drove 2.5 hrs and met half way to pick up the car... I probably won't see her again for at least 3 yrs.
Oh ohohohh... Sorry, it's a 2005 Kia Sorento, silver, less than 100K miles and less than 5K dollars...

Yesterday I went to another friends house to help her organize... she has a cat, which I am allergic too, I took a claritan and headed over... 3 hrs later, I am an absolute allergic mess. Turns out I am NOT allergic to cats, I am HIGHLY allergic to cats... (my nose is still running 12 hrs later)

Aaaagh!

2011-06-23T05:54:00.002-04:00

It's thursday already???

Well Tuesday night we had a major wind storm come through, knocked our power out at 8:30pm, we set our cell phone alarms, plugged them in and wished for the best.
When we awoke the next morning, still no power.
Hubby and I went off to work when hubby's friend called to say that his salt water fish were dying. Hubby has a salt water tank as well, and he was honestly having a panic attack about his tank. For a moment, I was worried about the fridge and freezer, but really... there is more $ in the tank than in food.
Luckily Hubby's dad was in town, he went to Home Depot and rented a generator. We lost 2 fish and a shrimp... Could've been worse.

I have been working on remodeling a house... which means... I have a valid excuse to wear my hot pink tool belt!!!!!

My babies leave today for Ohio, going to visit grandparents and cousins and hopefully have an absolute blast.

Gotta get ready for work... Have a fantastic day!

Contract writing

2011-06-19T21:58:00.004-04:00

It is Sunday night, and I thought of roughly 437 interesting things to write about and share with you monday morning... I currently can remember zero of them...

Why? Probably because I made a deadline for myself, from invisible to visible contract to you... If I don't have something for you Monday morning, you won't come back on thursday.
So I found out today/yesterday that my MIL is coming tuesday and taking the kids back to Ohio for a couple weeks, as she does every summer...

Why is this one stressing me out? For one, the girls just returned from camp and I have roughly 37 loads of laundry to do, I have been working like crazy, saturdays too which means my own house has been neglected, and after the Ohio visit my MIL wants to fly the kids to florida and meet hubby and I there when we take our family vacation. She keeps pushing and pushing to fly there verse home here in TN, hubby is too polite to explain that we are taking a family vacation, just the 4 of us. Even my mom, who lives in Florida, will be out of town. I think it would be easier to just tell her the truth...

Ok I have a question for you...
When company is coming... not company but say, your best friend, does that mean you have to spring clean, to an excessive dregree to make them feel special?
Or if you are the BFF do you expect your BFF to do that? Do you want to feel like that is necessary for you to come visit?
Yes... of course this stems from an event.

It would seem that a couple summers ago when my cousin came through there was a ramdom apple core that one of my kids left somewhere... Well, this "random" example has been used to explain to me how a guest should feel special.
I look at this completely different, if my cousin feels as though every thing needs to be perfect, then I feel like a "company" or a guest... an unwanted guest.

I like my house tidy and clean, but there is just gonna be an apple core around once in a while, we live here. The sheets are clean, rugs swept, and toilets scrubbed... but there is also a dish in the sink, shoes in the living room floor, and a hamper full of clothes.

So do you forgo having a friend over if the house isn't perfect or do you invite them in despite the condition?

Invisible contract

2011-06-16T06:17:00.000-04:00

I was reading a blog about successful blogging... tee hee.. Anyways, the point of the article was the "invisible contract". That you may or may not know it, but as you develop a pattern of posting, your readers begin to depend on that pattern, or invisible contract. You may not even know you have a contract until you break it.
This past year, has been an adventure, my posting sporatic and my readers vanished... I am going to make a visable contract with you to post every Monday and Thursday. Yea, I know it's only twice a week, but I need to get back in the rythmn... It very well could increase in time, who knows.
Well there you have it, come back on Monday.

I'll leave you with this:
Irrational fear #3 - Dehydration. I have roughly 3 glasses of water around the house, in my car and at my office at all times... I'm like the little girl from the movie "Signs"

Anyone else have a ridiculous fear/quirk they want to share? Please, so I don't feel SO silly alone!

Have a fantastic weekend!

Lucky Wife

Time - Irrational Fears - Other randomness

2011-06-14T08:35:00.002-04:00

Let's start with something ridiculous...
My irrational fears.
The biggest one is that I will be wearing the wrong shoes for a tragic event... example: My car breaks down on a dark county road and a hooked killer comes to the door and I need to RUN! I can assure you I will have on flip flops, and they will the the source of my demise.
The next one? That I will undoubtly have on the most uncorfortable/elastic lacking/wedgie giving panties I own when I am shipwrecked/airplane crashes on a deserted island.

Time:
I consider my time to be valuable, if not to you, it is certainly valuable to me. SO. When we make plans to do something at 7:30, and you find at 5:30 your propane tank is empty, and then go to the store to swap it, and then decide to get groceries while you are there, and only then start cooking dinner for your family at 7:15... Don't wait until 8:30 to finally call me and say you can't go. You knew by 6 o'clock you weren't coming. Grrrrr.....

Other randomness - My babies are at church camp and hubby and I are paralyzed with excitement to have a couple nights to ourselves!
Also, I just bought a Colgate 360 toothbrush and LOVE IT! The tongue cleaner tickles my mouth while I brush my teeth. It's totally awesome.

feeling a little lost

2011-06-08T12:10:00.003-04:00

Do you ever feel like a lamb that's wondered so far from the flock, that you just aren't sure how to work your way back in?

Hubby and I are struggling with our church/attendance/functions... We LOVE LOVE LOVE our pastor, he is absolutely incredible, straight forward, like it or not, humorous... all around fantastic.

The problem? That accessability of any functions other than sunday morning service. Children's/Teens/Small Group starts at 5:45 on Wednesdays. I work until 5pm, then drive 40 minutes to home, and then another 25 Minutes back to the church. Assuming that traffic is a dream, that I don't need to eat, and my children are standing on the porch ready to jump in the car, we will be, at a BARE minimum 20 minutes late.

This was all FINE when I worked part time, but since I began full time work, I have had to quit small group and the kids had to quit wednesday church... then that small wedge has been driven even deeper by interferring with sunday service attendance...

Blah...

I don't like feeling disconnected like this... It just seems that everyone waits around for me to make a stand/decision but then once i do, it's challenged as well.

Grrrrrr

Finally June!

2011-06-07T11:50:00.003-04:00

The inlaws are gone, the parties are over and school is out!

Can I get a A-Men!

On the other hand, now that I have finally had a chance to breathe, I have noticed that my garden is a joke, the weeds have out numbered the flowers and I never even got around to planting some pretty annuals this year...

The north side of the house looks grungy, I want to paint my shutters and front door, and I def need to clean out my closet! Yikes.

My oldest daughter is becoming a total drama queen which difficult, I want her to share with me, but the over exaggerated extreame-ness of each situation is challenging.

My baby is not much of a baby anymore, heading to middle school in the fall. I am noticing quite a difference in her maturity lately (for the better)

That's about all, other than, did I tell you hubby and I celebrated 16 years of marriage the other day? I am proud of that accomplishment, being all the mountian tops we have climbed and valleys we have drudged through...

til next time...

Are you out of Gravy????

2011-06-01T11:16:00.003-04:00

So as you may or not know I have been couponing... I feel like it has been hugely successful being that currently I am spending a hair less then normal, but have WAY more supplies than normal.

So I was telling my in-laws about my success, to which they were all "ohh" and "ahhh", "clever girl"!

Then yesterday, while I was at work, my MIL kindly prepared dinner for the family. When I unsuspectingly arrived home, I was surprise attacked by the MILwith "ARE YOU OUT OF GRAVY? I looked and looked for gravy, in the pantry and in your stash, and I couldn't find GRAVY anywhere!" when FIL piped in "She didn't have a coupon for gravy! If there is no coupon you don't get to eat GRAVY!"

Seriously?

You would think I forgot to buy a supply of oxygen to keep the children alive for the next week.

Haiku

2011-05-17T15:00:00.000-04:00

Japanese Birthday
that is my daughter's request
let the stress begin

Wake me up when May ends...

2011-05-16T13:40:00.003-04:00

I have been meaning to get back here and share my couponing tips and successes... but May totally blows. I should love this month because so many special things happen in May, but for that same reason, I am totally exhausted. Let me show you..

May
1 - Hubby birthday
2 - Girl Scouts
3 - Essay Award Dinner
4 - Claim adjuster to fix truck
5 - Cook desserts to Teachers
6 - Teacher appreciation Lunch
7 - PTO Yardsale
8 - Mother's Day
9 - Girl Scouts/My Birthday
10 - Choir Concert
11 - Shop for dress for "big meeting"
12 - Big meeting - Middle School open house
13 - Wash Clothes and pack for over night trip
14 - Leave for Georgia 5.5 hr drive
15 - Return home 5.5 hr drive
16 - Girl Scouts
17 - Band Concert
18 - Clean house
19 - In Laws arrive
20 - Little P's birthday
21 - Friends Birthday party
22 - Little P's Birthday party
23 - ??? Free day? Can't be...
24 - 5th grade party, awards ceremony
25 - last day of school
26-27 - Free
28 - 16th wedding anniversary
29 - ?
30 - Memoral Day
31 - Dr appt.

Whew I am exhausted!!!

Couponing...

2011-05-05T10:30:00.002-04:00

I am sure you have all heard of the Extreme Couponing show by now... I am NOT an extreme couponer, as I do have a full time job but with and hour or two spent on sunday afternoon clipping and organizing, I am saving on average 25% of my cost, and buying extra at the same time.
My first shopping trip total was 337.00 - 87.00 coupons = 250.00 total
My second shopping trip (2 1/2 weeks later) total was 223.00 - 52.00 coupons = 171.00 total

I carry around my reciepts and coupon binder like trophies! Bahaha

I mention how much time span there was to show you that I didn't buy all razors and deodrant. Also, not everything I bought was on sale. I stocked up on good deals, and bought the minimun of full price items as possible...

My goal? I'd like to be able to create a nice "stock pile" and then be able to start helping others, women's shelters, homeless shelters, diaster relief...

Anyone else staring to coupon? I can reccommed some good sites for beginners

I'm just gonna say it...

2011-05-02T14:46:00.004-04:00

Regardless of how evil someone may be, I still don't feel comfortable in rejoicing over their death.

Open Mouth...

2011-04-25T13:51:00.003-04:00

Insert Foot.

Hubby's birthday is coming up... His birthday ALWAYS catches us off guard because it's on the 1st of the month, so by the time you flip your calendar... you're too late.

Hubby is feeling a little distraught about his birthday this year, as he will be turning 39, in preperation of that, I texted his mom and said "Not that I think you'd forget, but Hubby's b-day is Sunday"

She replied that she had NOT forgotten, and...

Wait, let me interject that we had just received a box of easter goodies with cute lunch sacks for me and the girls, some chocolate for hubby... He was joking about ALWAY getting the shaft when it came to gifts...

... the even though his sister made the chocolate egg, it was really from her! That she isn't mad the we didn't send her anything...

At this point, i told her that I had no idea what she was talking about, and would talk to her later...

This is exactaly why I don't call.

No Space

2011-04-14T10:53:00.002-04:00

This is only a test.... If it were a real emergency, instructions would follow... Please forgive my last couple posts... For some reason all of my spacing is removed at publishing, making it unbearable to read... I do not know how to corect this problem, but will try. Bleeeppp - This is only a test....

Friendship formula

2011-04-13T14:41:00.003-04:00

Does friensdship require a certain number of calls/texts/emails/stupid forwards per month to mantain it's defination? I never thought it did... I have BFF's that I can go months with out talking to and then pick up the phone and chat as though not a moment has passed. I have friends that I email, some that I call, some that I text and some are simply sustained by playing "Words with Friends" and talking smack to each other. Of course those friendships weren't forced, nor did they happen over night, they took years of give and take. Oh there were lots of other people that came acroos my path, but not everyone is destined to be a lifer, you know? I have "phased out" friendships just as I am sure someone has phased me out too. The difficult thing I am facing now, is someone who after a short period of time, and of an odd circumstance (the new girlfriend of our favorite couple who are now divorcing) wants not only to be my BFF, but without any effort on her part and assuming I will choose between the ex-wife and her. (that may not be entirely true, but I do feel pulled) She sent me a CRAZY long email the other day of 95% rambling and 5% wanting to know exactally where she stood in my "friends" line... How do you answer a question like that? Let me rephrase, how do you answer a question like that without hurting their feeling AND without lying? I told her that it wasn't awkard that our favorite couple has a new girlfriend, what is awkard is that it's as though he brought in a new quarterback and we are all just suppoed to pretend we didn't notice and nothing changed. The reality is, it's a new team, with a whole new dynamic... and even if the quarterbacks are equally skilled that doesn't mean that the team will be equally successful. Only I was super sick, with a fever and was a bit more abrupt... she never responded.

Fear is the path to the dark side.

2011-03-29T08:33:00.003-04:00

In 5th grade students are required to write an essay. They are allowed to choose a "maxim" which is a list of 70 different quotes, or words of wisdom. Included are everything from Abe Lincoln to Confucious to Homer Simpson. Here is my 10 yr old, Little P's maxim and essay... Prepare to be blown away, it's deep. Maxim: "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." Yoda, in Star Wars: the Phantom Menace When I heard the phrase “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” I thought how my own fear has lead to hate. Fear is the path to the dark side. When I think of this, I thought of when we have free time and I sit in the dark room and just think about how my friends life is way more exciting, while I am afraid to try something new, get it wrong and then teased. At least they always have something to do all the time while I just sit on a computer. Fear leads to anger. When I feel afraid I take it out on everyone because I don’t want people to know I’m afraid, so I become angry. I use my anger to hide my fear. I’ve always been the toughest girl and I don’t want that to change. Anger leads to hate. I remember when I am really mad at someone I say that I hate them and I know at least everyone, at least once has said they hate their parents. Hate leads to suffering. Now that my fear as lead to hate, I am suffering alone because no one wants to be around someone who hates everything. This makes me realize that if I keep living my life like this I will end up with no friends and no one will like me. My fear is keeping me away from reality. I really want to change my life and it’s gonna happen soon. I just hope that I don’t get too far into my sadness and stop.

Insurance, can't live with it, can't live with out it

2011-03-28T14:47:00.003-04:00

So... I may have mentioned once or twice or 3,482 times that we were robbed last year THREE times... No, I haven't mentioned it? Hmmm, Could have sworn that came up in a conversation or two... Anyways... friday, when I can come from work and was going through the mail, I noticed that our annual home owners renewal envelope seemed a little, shall we say, thin. Thin as a college rejection letter... you know the one, thick package means they want you, thin envelope means "We regret to inform you..." Sorry, got a little side tracked there... I open the letter and it says they are not renewing out policy due to "Risk Characteristics and increased exposure to Loss" Well ain't that a kick in the ribs!

for who's glorification?

2011-03-16T09:23:00.003-04:00

I read something today... Something profound. It was from a Christian Fiction book I was reading... character A was commenting on Character B's huge home and abundant blessing...
Character B said, all their blessings were for God's glory, not their own. The home was used by youth fellowship, church gathering... all to glorify God.

So I asked myself... that ridiculous prayer I prayed to __________ (win the lottery, get a raise, get a new car, magically lose weight, make my children succeed...) all of which were not answered, I wondered to myself...

Did I ask for these things as a mean to glorify God, or myself?

Well, that question was simple to answer, it was for myself, I shamefully confess. I didn't ask for a better vehicle so that I could pick up extra kids for youth group. I want a nicer car than the one I have.

I didn't ask to lose weight to be healthier and more fit to participate in more activities, I simply wanted to be prettier.

I didn't ask to win the lottery to build an orphanage for children, I just didn't want to have to worry about finances anymore.

It's time to make over my prayers...

how was your day?

2010-12-08T06:00:00.003-05:00

As seen on Teen A's facebook status:
Dear father time, today waz AWZME for me, I waz wondering if we could go back in time nd repeat today, PLZ PLZ....... but rely today waz awzme nd 1 of mii favorite dayz

Lucky to Teen A: I see you had had an awesome day today, what happened?

Teen A: Nothing

Lucky: I am so glad we have these talks.

Teen A: *smirk*

Busy days ahead

2010-12-06T05:57:00.005-05:00

I was doing so well there for a while, but then...

We got a new puppy!

She's a German Shepard, and is supposed to be our big scary watch dog so we don't get broken into any more!

Her big bad scary dog name is... Juliet.

"You brought WHAT home?!!!???!!!"

Pepper's not really pleased with this decision.

And then the holidays... and tree buying and gift buying, cookies baking and party planning.

Then to top all that off, I sliced off a small piece of my thumb on my brand new, really sharp mandolin slicer.

Ok now ask me WHY I bought a new mandolin slicer when I already had one, go ahead... ask...

"hey Lucky why did you buy a new one?"

Oh that's easy, this one had a cool safety handle or "hand guard", which I forgot to use because I am So used to not having one.

Now let me explain which part of my thumb I sliced off, put your hands on the keyboard, hit the space bar with your right thumb, the entire section that touched the keyboard, I sliced off...

Ouch.

I can be such a jerk...

2010-11-22T15:27:00.004-05:00

So, as I mentioned, although you may have missed it, since it was lumped in with a pregnancy scare, my in laws broke the bank this time for us...

Keep in mind, the river is experiencing a slight drought from this, and when I say "river" I mean my bank account, when I say "drought" I mean... You know what I mean!

So last week I e-mailed hubby direct links to 4 things that I have been pining for. Four things to choose from to give me a Merry Christmas... Any one of those 4 things....
They included:
Down Comforter
Throw pillows
Curtains
Freezer
Two things you need to know, 1) I am a practical gifter; 2) I gave him exact color, size, qty etc in the list.

So Friday hubby texts and asks "How much money do we have in the account?"
Me "Not much, I need to pay bills"
Hubby "I need 100 dollars"
Me "For?"
Hubby "It's a surprise"

I am now thinking, that the family either going out to dinner, or possibly to the movies...
Against my better judgement, I succumb to his whim...

A couple hours later I get the surprise... A cell phone for me.

A Cell phone that I mentioned 64 yrs ago that I thought was cool, a cell phone that I don't need, a cell phone that now guarentees that I won't get any of the four things on my list.

I was SO PISSED, and a total jerk to him, I feel bad that I was so mean about it but geesh.

I off handly mention a cell phone is cool and I get it.
I give him a list of 4 things I want with specific links and nothing.

Update - I love my phone :-)

Christmas snob

2010-11-19T09:24:00.002-05:00

Last night we had a PTA meeting, we are considering a fundraiser in which you sell gift cards and the school gets to keep 2%-15% (depending on the store)
We decided to try it, being it comes at NO COST to us... So I suggested that we announce it and explain it to the parents at the Christmas program, December 4th...

One woman thought it was too late to get a good Christmas sale...

TOO LATE, on December 4th...

She then announced that all, yea you heard me, ALL her christmas shopping is done AND wrapped!!!!

I am pretty sure she must be from outer space... I haven't even figured out what I am getting anyone yet!

What a snob...

We have a NO go for launch

2010-11-18T09:01:00.000-05:00

It seems Mother Nature experienced flight delays... as her "gift" arrived today...

In laymans terms, we will NOT be expanding our family.

The end

For the record...

2010-11-17T08:31:00.003-05:00

I am NOT convienced that any miracle had indeed taken place... Even though I believe in the motto, If it quacks like a duck and looks like a duck... I don't FEEL like a duck,

Wait, did that make any sense?

If it has, I am ok with that because I have learned that God definatly has a way better plan for me than I could EVER dream up... (not that I am always that accepting of his plan)

Can you even BELIEVE that Thanksgiving is next weekend?

Thanksgiving makes me sad... Why? Because I love to cook a HUGE meal and feed the mulitudes, but the multitudes only seems to include the 4 of us... I feel a little lonely on Thanksgiving. My memories of Thanksgiving usually includes adding card tables all through the house so that everyone can sit. Our Thanksgiving includes the removal of the table leaves to that we aren't too spread out.

Anyone wanna come over for Thanksgiving???? I'll do all the cooking and cleaning...

I have a secret...

2010-11-16T14:32:00.002-05:00

And since most of you are don't actually know me in person...

Here goes...

I missed my period.

It's TWO weeks past due. My boobs are tender. I am sensitive to smells. I am peeing constantally.

BUT, no really, I mean BUT, I have FAILED 2 home pee sticks... they both said negative...

I'm gonna wait a couple weeks and try again... different brand.

Signed,
A Clueless lucky

Teen A

2010-11-10T11:10:00.002-05:00

Did you catch that? "TEEN A" no more pre-teen A???
Now your with me, my precious little pre-teen A is now officially 13 and no longer a pre-teen...
Excuse me while I go cry for a minute...

tick, tock....

*sniffle* Ok I am back and somewhat composed... As composed as a mother of a real live teenage girl can be at least!

Anyways... the in laws came, broke a camp chair, and my bank account and then left on their merry way... I mean seriously, you KNOW that hubby won't accept your money for groceries... So you wait until he is home and in your path of conversation to offer me a few bucks for groceries? I on the other hand will say "thank you" and then go to the store... to shop.

Teen A had a roller skating party, which a few of her girl friends showed up for and her boyfriend! Brave boys to show up, in her daddy's presence and roller skate for 4 hours with his daughter... nice boy though, as nice as a hormonal boy that likes my well developed daughter can be.

Sunday the in-laws drug me out shopping, I say drug me because I was having an allergy attack, felt like poop, bought nothing and then got stuck with the tab for dinner...

Monday, I actually called off work, that's how poopy I felt... althought in between moments of feeling better and poopyness I did manage to clean/dust the living room (yikes! has that been neglected!)
Tuesday, I called off work again! YEA! I has a fever of 100.6! I only dragged my hiney off the couch long enough to go pee and heat water for tea...
Wednesday I am at work, actually working? not so much, but I am here in presence trying to recoup... If I talk for more than 20 seconds it strains my throat and I have a coughing fit, so I can't talk, and hubby thinks it's Christmas.

Well, that should catch everyone up... Talk to you soon!

In -Laws

2010-11-03T08:37:00.001-04:00

Need I say more?

Mail Defiency

2010-11-01T11:33:00.005-04:00

Well, in true self absorbed, total schmuck form, I forgot to mail my BFF's birthday card. I also forgot to mail my dad's and step-mom's birthday cards, as well as my in-laws 40th wedding anniversary card. While I'm on the subject, I forgot to mail my mom's mother's day card, which resulted in a horribly nasty e-mail from her.

So if you recall, BFF and I had a squirmish of sorts for the first time ever... It totally sucks, and thought I would have heard from her by now. I don't know, maybe she waiting for me to get my head outta my @ss?? I was planning on extending an olive branch with a birthday card and then a text message, but.. yep! You guessed it, totally forgot. *facepalm*

It's hard to argue that it's not all about me, and that I am not self absorbed when I take an honest look at my track record and how it must appear to her.

I guess someone (me) needs to work on her listening skills.

So... any ideas? How do I tell her I am sorry, and happy birthday with out digging my "total schmuck" hole even deeper?

Signed,
Un-Lucky

PS: BFF, if you still read this... Miss you, Love you, I'm Sorry and Happy Birthday.

Wardrobe Malfunction

2010-10-27T08:48:00.003-04:00

Ever have one of those days?

Yesterday morning as I was attempting to dress for work, I came to the horrifying realization that I actually had nothing to wear... I haven't done laundry in.. uh.. forever and a half... leaving me with that one pair of crumpled panties in the back corner of your underware drawer... You know the ones, the ones that you pull out, think *gee, these are cute, wonder why they are shoved clear back in the corner of my drawer* So, like an unsuspecting victim of a horror film, you walk outside to find the noise, I mean you decide to wear the panties, instead of... what do girls call it when they go with out panties? We don't exactaly "freeball" it... Anyways, you get my drift...
Then the LAST pair of dress pant you own are hanging there, laughing because they know you are about to be forced to wear them. Why is this so bad? These are the pants that Preteen A put in the dryer, shrunk up, and now I roll up to create the illusion of cuffed capris. Not that I think I am fooling anyone... which is why they were the last pair of pants hanging there.

So as it is pouring down rain, I throw on my heals and run off to work.

About an hour after I arrive, I realize the errors of my ways... The reason the panties are clear in the back of the drawer... NO ELASTIC! Every step I take, every move it make, they are falling down around my hips, which is leaving the oddest bunched up ring around my body. Oh and lucky me, guess what else, the zipper of my pants seems to be faulty and has a new phobia of heights! Yes, I was in a constant XYZ situation ALL DAY!

But, I have a moment of light... I have to go to the store to get water, and tape for work. While I am in there, I am gonna buy a pair of panties and little sock peds to wear with my heels, as my feet are freezing!

I bought the wrong size panties, in a thong, and the socks were too big.

I COULD NOT WAIT to get home and strip! My nightgowns was on at 6:15pm

Once a cheerleader always a cheerleader...

2010-10-25T05:41:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we were in the car going out to buy halloween costumes... I asked preteen A use her phone to find the halloween store "Spirit"

Preteen A: Mom, how do you spell spirit?
Me: S-P-I-R-I-T *clap clap*
Preteen A: Wait, what? How do you spell it?
Me: S-P-I-R-I-T *clap clap*
Hubby: Stop cheering....

Busted

2010-10-19T09:01:00.003-04:00

So, I recently found out that my daughter had a secret facebook account...
She called herself "Billy" based on a character in her favorite book....

Her "About me" said... "Aren't I SO smart, I'm not allowed to have a facebook account so I made one up. My mom doesn't know about it, I'm so kewl"

So I started randomly calling her "billy" it would make her jump a little, but no confession and she kept posting on her fb account...

One day, I had had it and sent her a friend request that said "busted" in the message... She grounded, we were the worst parents ever... blah blah blah... but the bust part?

The best part was this on her fb wall:

Taylor(her bff)-Yea so smart, just like when she walked by and said Hey Billy, hahahahaa
Billy(my daughter) - ik :(

That was funny...

Out of Commission

2010-10-19T06:06:00.002-04:00

I have been out of commission for a few days, corn maze, work followed by an allergy attack...
Will bring you up to speed soon.
Tootles!

Dr appts...

2010-10-14T05:48:00.003-04:00

Today is Dr Appt day... Preteen A has to get anouther round of vaccines, no biggie.
Little P however is another story... My sweet Little P has had bowel problems since she was born... It has been a LONG frustrating journey, and I wish I could say I feel hopeful, and maybe I do, a little... but history tells me not to get too excited. I will spare you details since most of you are reading this during your morning coffee, but I did write about out plight a few years ago here. Well since then, she's been tested for diabeties at least once more to come back negative, I was asked to read a book called "Sugar Busters" which I have, and changed about 75% of our eating habits... Nothing has changed.
When I try to discuss the problem with a peditrician... they assume I have her on a McD's/BK diet. Reality is we eat fast food maybe once every couple weeks.
Or they will yell at me to "give her some fresh vegatables!" before they ever thought to ask about her current diet.

What's different about today??? We are going to a Pediatric Gastroenterolgist. So a little prayer that they may do more than make assumptions and discard us.

what a week so far...

2010-10-13T05:56:00.002-04:00

Monday, had to cater and do a huge presestation to about 20 people... and then we completely tore down the office aquarium. Then Little P had her "crossing over"ceremony from a Junior Girl Scout, to a Cadet.
Tuesday, At 7am (5 minutes before I leave the house) I realized that I never washed the cleaning ladys rags and towels. Yes, I know it's odd, but one of my assumed duties... In my feeble attempt to wash them, then throw them in the dryer, drop the kids off at thier schools, then swing back around to get the dried towels... well they weren't dry at all and the ONLY thing i accomplished was being late for work. That day was crazy, only to rush home to go straight to PTO fall festival planning meeting...
Today, I am driving hubby's truck because I am buying 2 more hens today... Which means I need to get ready, get a container for food and water, grab some straw... Stop by a friends to borrow a dog crate... and I have NO obligation after work!!!!!

ps. Hubby found the battery charger for the camera... which means pictures for you!

Mondays...

2010-10-11T08:49:00.003-04:00

Well, I had to work this weekend, another open house... That is quickly losing it's charm...

I didn't allocate much blog time this morning, actually I didn't allocate any at all, (I'm at work)

So all I have time to say is "Good morning, may your Monday not suck"

Til Later...

Lucky

FRIDAY at last, oh how I've missed you...

2010-10-08T05:46:00.002-04:00

To all of you out there fretting about my hygiene.... The water is back on...

hello....??

anyone?

Well anyways, it's Friday, and that means I get to spend 5 hours hosting an Open house, that also means "bring a good book".

Is it just me or do you sleep better getting in to a well made bed? I mean, I know I sleep better when the bed has been made and everything is tucked in and smoothed out just right... what I can't figure out is if it's a mind over matter kinda thing...

Oh, my boss recently revealed that he majored in psychology in college... If he was ever trying to figure out a way to shut me up... he found it!

I'm excited that it is Friday and can't compose more than 2 sentences that are related... Hence the randomness...

I took a sign language class last winter and loved it, loved it SO much, that I mentioned to the boss man we should make that our real estate "niche" and cater to the Huge deaf community in our area.

ok, that is most of the crap on my mind today...

Have a Fabulous Weekend!

desert land

2010-10-07T05:51:00.002-04:00

Well... like a total bone head... I forgot to pay the water bill. Not that it would be a big deal, but around these parts... 5 days after your late notice they shut the water off while you are at work, only to come home to hear your hubby say "Are there any other bills you didn't pay I need to know about?" Noooo. The Preteen A, " I have a fieldtrip tomorrow and "you know who" is in my group... I have to wash my hair, I need to look goood" We'll wash your hair, don't worry. Little P rejoiced "Yes! I don't have to take a shower today" Me? I ordered a pizza and tried not to play with my hair and make it greasy...
Well I am off to take my "slut" bath...
Have a good day..

Unrulely kids and parents

2010-10-06T05:44:00.003-04:00

Last night was preteen A's choir concert. They did an excellent job. What surprises me is the blatent disregard the parents display toward the teachers and students.

1. First off, as the chorus director is trying to tell us how great our kids are, all the parents and talking among themselves... It's actually embarrassing to be sitting among them.

2. The family behind us... It would seem that grandma was holding the 3-4 yr old child and she wanted down! I know this because they were directly behind hubby, and the child, in her attempt to get down squirmed, kick and cried. If you can't control the kid take them out of the room, there are other people there too.

3. In between songs, another 3-4 year old girl finally spotted her sister on stage... To which she cried out "Sissy, you having fun?" the audience giggled, the director raised her arms to start the song and... She yelled to her sister again, and again... all in all about 9 times, it stopped the concert, and it wasn't until then the mother actually thought to do anything about her antics.

I've had toddlers, I know sometimes they can get a little... unruley... but really? Parents, step up! If your kids want to act like that at home, fine. when other people are there trying to watch their children as well, get a grip on your kids or take them outside.

Deadly Women

2010-10-05T11:19:00.002-04:00

There are three things you need to know for this story to be funny...

1. My husband has a barely receding hairline and a thinning crown.
2. My husband bought his first pair of reading glasses.
3. My husband's arm is bruised from elbow to sholder.

Ok, with those facts in mind, my hubby was watching a show called "Deadly Woman" about murderous women, duh. So there was this granny lady that was slowing killing her husband with rat poison... His symptoms? Thinning hair, vision loss, arm pain.

My hubby is starting to wonder if I am poisoning him. I reminded him that I am NOT a patient woman, and if I were so inclinded, if I ever decided to "off" him, it would be quick.

I bet that makes him sleep a lot better at night.

Hoarder next door

2010-10-05T05:51:00.002-04:00

I think I may have an unhealthy addiction the the two shows on TLC and A&E, Hoarders and Hoarding: Buried Alive. That show is like a car accident... It completely grosses me out, but I can NOT stop watching. The kids run in fear when ever I watch, because they know things are about to be thrown away... So the benefit is their rooms seem to stay a little neater...

From watching this show, and putting a name to this... chaos. I noticed that there is a hoarder that lives down the road from me... We first made fun of the fact that they mowed (once a month) around the scooter in the front yard... then we noticed things appearing on the front porch. Then one day as we drove past, someone was walking out of the house and 1-they couldn't open the front door all the way and 2-We could see a nano second of a glimpse inside.

A am dying to get in that house... I know it's gotta be disturbing, but the organization nut in me is fascinated by it. If you or anyone you know want am amateur organizer/therapist to help them clean up a hoarder home... Look me up!

Real bonafide fresh eggs

2010-10-04T05:46:00.003-04:00

This past spring I finally talked my husband into letting me get a couple chickens... I know you all probably think I am completely nuts, but I live in the country, on several acres, amd I thought chickens would be a good beginner live stock to own...

Aren't the adorable?

Well, now they are big, the rooster scares me sometimes and black and white was killed by a neighborhood dog. So that leaves me with "Rudy" the rooster and what I like to call "the twins".

Yesterday, one of the twins, laid her first egg!!!! I am SO excited! They are finally giving back...

Meanest mom ever... That's ME!

2010-10-01T08:20:00.002-04:00

So this morning, after I dropped off Little P and after I dropped off preteen A at her bus stop, 5-10 min later she sends a text saying "Stop at the school and drop of 14 bucks for field trip"
I reply "I can't" (why can't I, you ask? It's called the drop off line and then momma is 45 min late for work) and then call her...

At that moment I was in a place that I could turn and possibly intercept the bus, I asked her where the next stop was after hers, she got snotty and said "you've never been on this road" I assure her I know where she is going if she would just tell me... She says "forget it, I have my own money" I said 'GREAT!" she said "FINE!" I know, I know, I fine example of maturity...

So I turn back around and start heading to work... 5-10 minutes later I receive this text "Never mind, I don't have enough money" I said"Sorry, I am too far away now" She "whatever'd me and will be losing her phone and party privilege this weekend...

Can I Scream now?

Lousy Day..

2010-09-30T05:38:00.002-04:00

I am SO glad yesterday is over! My BFF got mad at me, My mom was randomly lecturing me, my cousin seemed to kinda doing the same thing, the drive through lady at chick-fil-a got snotty with me and my boss, in not so many words, indicated that I am taking advantage of him.

I'll explain the last one... This summer I went from a part time, 1099 employee to a full blown salary employee. With the understanding that (in his mind) that I'd usually work 40-50 hours and the occasional 35 a week. SOOO making me salary would benefit him, and it did during the summer because my kids were at grandma's and I worked all kinds of hours.

Now that school is in session... My hours are not so flexible... the kids get on the bus at 7:20, then I make my 0 min journey to work and start by 8am... Then, I never take more than 30 minutes for lunch ( not that the boss man would notice because he is hardly ever there) but I do that so if we miss the bus one day, or we have a dr appt there is no problem. Then keep in mind the 40-45 min drive and the daycare closes at 6pm... I have to be out the door by 5:10. So yesterday I volunteered to work a couple open houses during our parade of homes on the weekends so that in 3 weeks, when the kids have 2 days off for fall break, I could comfortably ask for those days off. Well when I mentioned this to him yesterday, he stated that the hour scale (50-35) has been one sided and I am always off on an emergency...

I am BEYOND pissed... He quickly forgets that I stayed until 5:45 last week when his sales contract came in at 4:59pm, and I needed to scan and convert and blah blah blah... Or the time he needed me at work by 7:30, so I took Preteen A to a friends at 6:15 in the morning and Little P to morning daycare. Being a single guy his whole life, he has NO idea what coordination it takes to make those kinds of adjustments.

Oh and might I add, I am DEAD IN THE WATER at work right now... yesterday, I cleaned out the fridge... Just for something to do... I not exactly leaving him in a bind...
I would really like to go back to hourly, so if I need to take my kids to the Dr, I can, with out guilt. Just don't pay me for 2 hours! AND if we aren't doing ANYTHING anyways, let me take a day off with my kids? GRRRRrrrrrrr.

Short and Sweet

2010-09-29T05:56:00.004-04:00

I only have 4 minutes before i have to get in the shower and start the day, but as I mentioned, I miss my blog life. So I am still in the process of cutting back on facebook, which has been surprisingly easy and instead of the usual mad dash for the shower 10 min past schedule. Today I was left with 4 minutes to spare...

With now only two minutes remaining I can't get into a long story about my liar liar pants on fire children. I will save that for another time, but right now, I am just working on getting back in the habit of blogging...

We'll talk again soon

Lucky

I miss my blog life...

2010-09-28T14:47:00.003-04:00

I do, I really miss it, yet as I went from part time employement to full time, and became the treasurer of the PTO, and run a kid to Girl Scouts once a week... That thing I once took for granted, free-time, is now greatly missed.

I miss my outlet of story telling, I have no outlet for this at work because my office consists of me and my boss... Who is male and doesn't care about my totally awesome new hot pink purse.

He doesn't care about my crafty paint project, or manicures, or the stupid things my kids do.

This leaves me with a pent up over abundence of words that I can't get out on a daily basis...

I may need to tweek my schedule, which would mostly consist of limiting facebook...

Then maybe there would be time to resume blogging...

I mean, my oldest daughter is about to turn 13, I need reinforcements, I just discovered TWO secret facebook accounts... and can I just say... it is gonna sound horribly inappropiate but... the girl has passed me up, in ahh... her... oh heck, she has bigger boobs than me!!!!

Oh and did I tell you??? We were robbed a 3rd time this year!

You've you la

2010-05-03T15:56:00.003-04:00

Saturday morning, hubby and I took little P to Home depot to do her monthly kid craft... Then hubby did a little shopping since it was his birthday and he had all his tools stolen... This is only only relevent to the conversation you are about to hear, because of it's completely unrelated topic. We checked out and were heading home when little P, from the back seat, said:

Little P: Would we be able to talk if we didn't have a uvula?

Me/Hubby: (Busted a gut laughing)

ok fine, you didn't miss me... so what. But I have a FUNNY!!!

2010-04-21T13:04:00.002-04:00

P: Mommy?
Me: Yea?
P: I think the star closest to the earth is about 5 mega pixels away.
Me: You think (snickering)
P: Yea, that sounds about right.
Me: Something like that.

Little P walks out of the room...
Preteen A: What are you laughing about?
Me: Something Little P said..
Preteen A: I heard but don't know what's funny about it.
Me: (full blown, side splitting laughter)

Umm, hi... Remember me?

2010-04-08T20:41:00.002-04:00

Ok, so the good news is... I am still alive and kicking... I know, some of you were worried... I realized my last post was like 5 months ago! Crazy, huh?
Since then, what's happened you ask? Well...
School was canceled several times for a dusting of snow
I started taking sign language classes
I went to a fancy schmancy meeting
My daughter LIKED the shirt I bought
I watched Ohio State kick Michigan hiney
My husband and daughter went to WWE wrestling
Saw Avatar... wow.
Fell of the sled trying to "surf"
Fought with my kids about clothes
Volunteered to dice 12 onions for Chili cook off
Started creating a family cookbook
Got angry with postal workers
Sold 200 boxes of Girl Scout cookies
Had my home broken into
Began classes to get my real estate license
had my mom come to visit
Little P fractured her ankle
My car broke down
Had someone on speaker phone call me a moron to my boss
Had my car fixed and then it broken down again
Had my car fixed
Had the tool shed broken into...

That about sums it up... at least brings you up to date... Questions?

Have you missed me?

A Love /Hate relationship with my car

2009-12-21T05:50:00.002-05:00

As most of you know, during an all time low point, my car was repossessed last October. It was completely humiliating and an answered prayer at the same time. Upon the loss of my transportation, and had to gather what was left of my pride, wad it up in a ball and chuck it out the window to accept a gift of pity and failure (or so it felt)

Now over the past year, I have grown fond of of car, considering it is paid for, starts every day, it's all one color, has a V8 engine... but, it is an old lady car (no offense) It's a 1998 Lincoln Mark VIII. It's a 2 door, and creme colored.

A few days ago, I picked up a scratch off lottery ticket, after we lost we speculated on what we would spend 10,000 on had we one... I said "Momma's getting a new car!" and hence planted the seed into hubby's brain.

I was just playing, it was total speculation. Yes, the cup holder broke, and the space filler around the gear shift cracked, the seat warmer doesn't work it has 140K miles on it... So what! IT WAS A FREE CAR!

So hubby decided he wants to take a loan out of his 401K to purchase me a new vehicle... I said NO! I will drive that car until it dies, and then we can consider our options. There is no need to replace something that works and have a loan we don't want or can't afford.

SO yesterday, we took my car to go to "The Living Christmas Tree" and when we left, just as we got on the long stinking bridge, we heard a horrible noise... It was a flat tire. We pull over, it was cold, hubby was slightly irritated, and mumbled something like, I sure am glad we are keeping this &*&^*&%#$ car...

Sigh... Pray that I can calm hubby down and he doesn't do anything irrational...

Sigh.

Series of unfornatuate events...

2009-12-09T15:40:00.006-05:00

This morning I was to drop off a handful of information packets to some VERY important people as part of my job... Simple enough, right? Not so much.

I retrieved the GPS out of hubby's truck at 5:30 am this morning so that I could travel all over the county making deliveries with out worry... Even removed all the empty cups, discarded lunch sacks, lost school papers and 5 jackets belong to either me Preteen A or Little P. I plugged in the GPS on our way to school and realized... it wasn't working. We twisted and turned, plugged and unplugged and then realized that a penny had fallen into the cigerette lighter... We tried gun on the end of a pencil, a key, and any other object we could find in the car to remove it, until I remembered seeing a paper clip. Preteen straightened the paperclip and retrieved the foul penny. We re-plugged the GPS and no go. We figure the penny shorted the fuse. So I tell Preteen to grab the owners manual and see which fuse needs replaced to the lighter... The owners manual is missing! MISSING! I mean, who, wants to read an owners manual for entertainment? Now that option is out the window.

After Little P was at school and Preteen A had gotten the bus I decided to go home and map quest all my destinations... No problem right? You'd think, except, I had given Preteen my keychain with the house key minus the car key, since I knew I would be working late and she would arrive home before me. Now I am completely defeated... I don't know what to do... Then I think... I'll trade vehicles with hubby! So I call his cell, then I text him, and I call again, because, well lets face it, I'm desperate! He finally answers "WHAT!" So I quickly as possible explain the situation and he says, fine, come get it. But babe, I say, I need you to bring out a key because the spare that I keep at all times is on the key ring that I gave Preteen this morning.

Can you believe this? All before 8am. Yeah, BEFORE 8 AM. I was then lead to two yes 1, 2 closed roads via the GPS that works in my hubby's truck/dumpster.

Girls go to college to get more knowledge

2009-12-08T13:49:00.002-05:00

So... Hubby came home from work, we had a civilized conversation, I told him that I hadn't done his laundry and felt like a total bad @ss because of that little act of rebellion...

Then I came after him with a golf club, and he ran out of the house and jumped in the car and ran into a tree to I smashed in the REAR window to get in and pull him out... oh wait, that wasn't me... lol just kidding there tiger...

So we are all good, and I took little P to girl scouts and when I returned home...

The dog had been washed
The living room cleaned and vacuumed
Dinner put away
dishes done
laundry (mine) put away
shower scrubbed...

I would like to declare that little act of rebellion...

VICTORY!!!!

Boys go to Jupiter to get more Stupid-er.

2009-12-07T10:11:00.003-05:00

My hubby is being an idiot, so I didn't do his laundry... snicker...
He should run out of clothes any day now... tee hee
I also didn't make his side of the bed
or take his coffee mug to the sink.

Since I don't do ANYTHING to please him. I'm not.

I feel so empowered.

Christmas friendly retail???

2009-12-03T11:53:00.004-05:00

My small group leader and I were talking on the phone last night and almost got into a fight...

She was telling me that James Dobson has in his website a list of "Christmas Friendly" stores... You can view them here. I said that i thought that was ridiculous... I don't understand why we are constantly surprised that non-Christians don't portray christian like behavior. These stores are not Christian-based stores, why would we expect them to to solely say "Merry Christmas" and not happy holidays etc...Hanukkah, or winter solace... I thought that this web site was very irresponsible, if there were facts there, as far as store policy's ect... ok, but it is all hear say and no filter... One person was upset because one store only played non religious Christmas songs, and one store didn't offer baby Jesus wrapping paper. She said "what does red/green or snowmen have to do with Christmas? My question, what does a $34 t-shirt from the GAP have to do with Christmas?

People are able to rate the stores as Christmas: Friendly. Negligent or Offensive...

One person's rated a store offensive because there web site only contained the phrase "holiday gifts" not "Christmas gifts" Really, you found that offensive? I am thinking Jesus would find it offensive that we, as Christians, save money for an entire year to splurge and spoil our family in an effort to measure our love for them in material things. What exactly does purchasing gifts of any kind have to do with the TRUE meaning of Christmas?

If anyone is going to take these "suggestions" to heart, then they should do their own research. Find out what the corporate policy is... and stick with it YEAR ROUND...

Signed,
A Born again
Baptized in the Spirit
Sinner saved by Grace

I should write...

2009-11-24T11:10:00.004-05:00

Last week I received an e-mail from a new member in our Small Group at church. She is new to the area, (I know how that feels) a new Christian (again, I can totally relate) and feeling really inadequate in our group (totally know that feeling too). So I composed a nice e-mail, which I will share in a moment, but before I sent it I called my SG leader to make sure what I wrote was "ok". This person seems fragile right now, and my honesty can come off harsh at times... Some people love me for this, others, not so much.

Ok here is the initial e-mail I received all names have been removed to protect the innocent. It's long so I am going to edit it a bit..k?

I have something that I have attached to my desk that is good for me to read each morning, night or whatever. I am going to send it to you, Anyway, it is this...

Good Morning
I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems.
Please remember that I do not need your help.
If the devil happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle,
DO NOT attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFJTD (something for Jesus to do) box.
It will be addressed in MY time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, DO NOT hold on to it or attempt to remove it. Holding on or removal will delay the resolution of your problem.

LuckyWife, it's me again, we have a SFJTD box and it may sound silly but my whole family uses it, even my children, and sometimes just having it reminds us that God is in control and we just have to give it to Him. anyway, I know that I am not near where the rest of you are, and this may seem imature to the rest of you, but I just thought I would share some of what I am learning, I am really sorry I don't have the guts to speak in group. I am not sure I will stay, I think I may be in a whole different place than the rest of you, but anyway, thanks for listening to me at times and I think you are a really neat and sweet person. I will still read the next book and I will make sure to pay you for it, but please keep me in your prayer, I thought is was kind of neat, you got my card this week, I was actually thinking about you when I wrote it, I knew if anyone understood some of what I am going through it would be you. Just think though, mine are living with me permanently until, who knows, please pray. and thanks again.

So my reply:

Hi Small Group Friend,
I love that letter, I OFTEN need reminded of just that, I am not in control, and I need to let go of things so that Jesus can take care of it. The only problem with a SFJTD box at my house is that I would be tempted to read everything my kids write and then try and "help" Jesus by taking care of them myself, lol.

Wether you speak up or not, I would hate to see you leave the group, what makes our group so special is the very fact that everyone there is in a different place in their walk with the Lord. Imagine, a group of woman, in the same place, with the same knowledge... How would they grow? If they strayed, there would be no one with more experience, to guide them. And as they grow, they then woudl be given the opportunity to help someone else grow.

THink of it like this... Six woman all standing on a ledge of a mountian. Do you all reach for the next step at the exact same time? What if that next step was a tricky one? You all would slip and fall together.
Or six woman all standing on a ledge together, one person has been there before, and knows where the best step is... She can guide you and then you can help the next person to come along.

If you aren't comfortable in our group, I understand and take no offense, but consider that you might be exactally where you are meant to be.

Love Lucky Wife

Ok, yes, this is getting long, but the POINT of this story, YES I have one, was that my SG leader, the person I read this too before I hit the send button, she said, I should "write or something, like one of those on-line things" A blog? I asked, yeah, she said, I think that's what they are called...

The Ugly Truth

2009-11-17T08:46:00.002-05:00

Height 5'9"
Weight 194 lbs
BMI 28.6 (over 25 is overweight, over 30 is obese)

:-(

So this morning I drug my sorry (extra large) hiney outta bed and walked up and down my drive way twice... Yeah, I know whoop de doo, but it's a long driveway, at least 2/10 of a mile, and it's up a hill. It was 5:30 am, pitch black, and surrounded by scary creepy forest trees and my sorry excuse for a guard dog had to be bribed to go with me... So I walked down the hill, when I got to the bottom , my dog took off and left me in the dark, I jogged up the hill, I looked up and saw a shooting star. Woo hoo... That was cool. Then, feeling slightly empowered, I went another go, walked down the hill, got totally creeped out and ran back up. Then sucked air for at least 4-5 minutes before I could compose myself and get in the shower...

It's a start... BTW- Due to last years illness, and possible depression I am about 22 pounds heavier than my 15 yr average at 172... I just want to see 172 again... That's all.

Full Pout Mode.

2009-11-16T12:12:00.002-05:00

I am feeling pouty today… I believe this could be HIGHLY induced by ~~the roller coasters of hormones raging through my body~~ my "cycle". If you don't care to read along and listen to me whine like a spoiled snot nosed snob, then here is your warning to get out.

So Hubby and I cleaned out our closet Saturday, we have a huge closet that also doubles as the "catch all". In this cleaning out process, I also ditched any clothing that I hadn't worn in the past year (ok I maybe kept 3 things that I couldn't part with yet, but you get the picture) So there is currently a pile about 4x4 ft square and at least 4 ft high of clothes and shoes that were discarded by me and hubby.

On to the pouty part, I own exactly 3 pairs of dress pants (I work in an office 5 days a week, do the math) Only one dress shirt does not have either a stain or hole in it. The holes are from my ~~idiot dog~~ precious canine greeting me when I come home, poking an unnoticeable claw through my shirt only to be fully exposed after it has been washed and dried. Yes I scolded, the dog for jumping up on me only to have hubby come home 30 min later in his grungy work clothes and encourage the dog to jump up on him. Ugh.

Then I found the offer letter to Hubby from the company that he works for, the one offering him a nice comfortable salary to up and move to Tennessee… the same one that they retracted 10 minutes after we pulled into the driveway of our new home (IN TENNESSEE). It makes me angry that hubby feels like he isn't providing, when at the same time out of 1000 employees only 120 are left, 120 that include him. I am grateful for employment, period. So I guess I should quit pouting, huh.

What else? Well my 12 yr old car needs fixed, shocking, right? There is NO money for that, but instead I spend a few dollars every couple days putting more oil in… yea, oil leak. And I leaky tire, and I broke the cup holder this morning, my seat doesn't move forward anymore.

Have I mentioned lately that I'm fat? Fatter? More plump than my body has been used to other than two pregnancies, 10 and 12 years ago? Every night I lie in bed and think, Tomorrow I am just gonna get dressed and go outside and walk up and down the drive way a couple times. (It's really long and down a hill…) Then the next morning I wake, and drag my lifeless (fat) body to the kitchen for that cup of joe and then the thought of lugging my body outside, in the cold… well that thought just dissipates into thin air.

I will have the exact same thought tonight when I am lying in bed.

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A Family Gift...

2009-11-13T09:03:00.003-05:00

Hubby pulled me aside last night and said that he'd been thinking... Maybe this year instead of buying each other a gift for christmas, we could purchase something together and we want.

We have done this in that past and I thought it was a grand idea... I was dreaming of :

New Couches!

New Bedroom Suit!

New Dishes!

He was dreaming of :

A laptop :-(

This may be harder than I thought.

It doesn't fit!!!

2009-11-10T08:39:00.007-05:00

Preteen A asked me to make her an icecream cake... I found a way to make it on line that looked super duper easy...

First bake two round cakes (from a box mix, duh!) like normal and then put a 1/2 gallon of softened ice cream in a spring form pan (perferably the same size) and let the ice cream harden overnight
When you are ready to assemble, flatten your cake, unless you are betty crocker herself and it doesn't have a big dome on top. (I use thread or dental floss)

Pull out the flapjack of ice cream from the freezer and it will magically pop off the base of the pan, seriously I promise.

Put the second cake on top and...

I did use 2 jars of icing to seal in the ice cream...

It was completely iced and i had 3 hrs until the party, I turned to place the cake in the freezer and .... Clunk. The plate hit the sides of my side by side fridge/freezer.

I screamed... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So I called my neighbor who wasn't home but her husband was, she said I could place the cake in her freezer and she'd call the husband... So I ran to the car and drove down the driveway with my left hand, cell phone in my lap, and cake in my right hand balanced like a waitress bringing drinks to a table. When all of a sudden I hear "Hello, hello.. Are you there" It's my MOM! I butt dialed her!

What my mom doesn't realize is that I had lost my voice for being sick that whole week, so when I picked up the phone and cradeled is under my chin I replied with a voice of a 90 yr old chain smoker, who had all their teeth pulled and had a sore throat...

Lucky - Mom, I can't talk, I gotta go.

Mom - Are you ok, What's wrong.

Lucky - I lost my voice I gotta go mom!

Mom - Are you sure your ok?

Lucky - Yes, I butt dialed, I'll call you back, I gotta go.

When I arrived at my neighbors, the fence across the drive was still locked (I live in the country remember?) So I parked my car at the end of the drive and walked up the quarter mile drive cake in hand... all the while praying that he asks first who is there before he shoots. This was a serious, valid concern!

I bang on the door, yelling "It's me, Lucky! You there, It's just me, Lucky! Don't shoot!"

Relief, his wife JUST got ahold of him and he opened the door.

When I called my mom back she was so worried that I was in the mist of a crying fit, or something, I'm lucky she hadn't dialed 911!

This was all that was left, it was really good and everyone loved it. Just make sure you have freezer room BEFORE you make it.

So lately...

2009-11-06T12:36:00.001-05:00

I have noticed that when my mom has been sending me e-mails, she is using a huge font. They appear and I almost feel as though she is yelling at me, but I think it is just so that she can see what she wrote without using her glasses. I am an evil child at times so I do the opposite... our e-mails look like this:

Mom - Did Pre-teen get the birthday package I sent her?
Me - Yes, got it in the mail today.

I wonder if she is running off to CVS to grab the higher voltage reading glasses yet? Tee Hee

Preteen A turns Twelve

2009-11-05T06:00:00.006-05:00

Look at that face...

And this one on vacation?

When did it become this face?

Happy Birthday Preteen A...

Gosh you are georgous...

Better load the shotgun.

A Pain in the Arse...

2009-11-02T09:32:00.002-05:00

Figuratively and Literally.

My husband's brother and wife came to visit... And hubby's mom and dad as well... Why do you care? Well you probably don't really except that my sister in law and mother in law are in a bit of a tiff with each other... They each claim not to be mad at the other but before our meal, MIL began to eat and I asked "Did you pray for everyone?" She replied "I prayed for myself the rest of you can die" Wow, Great example MIL, what a good Christian spirit there... And you wonder why Sister in law wants NOTHING to do it (Chistianity that is)
Sister in law locked her self in a bedroom to hide... don't really blame her there...
We went trick or treating, in the rain, and on a hay ride, in the POURING rain, and now my body aches, I have a sore throat... and for the literal part of my title, I think I have Hemmroids... Sorry was that TMI? I am dying here! Preperation H works alot better on my puffy eyes than it seems to be doing on its intended purpose.

Insert pouting face and tears.

ps - No my MIL does not live with us or even near us, it's just that she flies for free and "visits" WAY TO OFTEN!

Sigh...

Happy Birthday BFF

2009-10-30T09:46:00.003-04:00

Today is a very important day for me... No it's not my birthday, but it is the birthday of my oldest friend (Not her age, the time WE have been friends) See the way I look at it is like this...
God knew me before he formed me. Right? So after he had figured that all out... he got busy making me just the right person to be my best friend. That could not have been an easy task, as I am not always sensible. I mean... he had to make someone that he knew, would...
1. Not give up when I was (a smidge) self centered.
2. Not desert me when time and paths stretched long apart.
3. Let me ramble on about things that she has NO interest in.
4. Laugh at my silliness.
5. Share their love of Jesus, and have awesome conversations with.
6. Relate to the baggage I carry.
7. Force me to speak truth, when I want to cover things up with half truths.
8. Let me ask hard questions, because I trust her with everything.
9. Love me...

Anyways... I just hope she knows that I feel truly blessed to have her as my friend, and that only the work of God could have created such perfection. She isn't everyone perfect friend, She's my perfect friend.

Happy Birthday... I hope you have an incredible day... I love you.

Change...

2009-10-28T05:35:00.002-04:00

Do you ever run into someone, someone that knew you but haven't seen in YEARS and find that they are in shock over how you've changed? This summer, and old friend from school whom I lost touch with almost 18 years ago, moved back to my small home town and we got in touch... with some urging from my BFF, since we used to be 3 amigos. When I was 16, I was a model, my family was wealthy, we traveled constantly, I had expensive clothes, handbags... I was a city girl. Flash forward 18 years, I have acerage, a garden, ugly black walmart wellies (rubber boots)a snazzy hand bags from Penny's that's 3 yrs old, dreams of owning chickens and possibly a goat, and the most expensive article of clothing I own? My Levi's. Of course this transformation didn't happen over night... But for her it did. When I mention something about an apron... she howls, when she sees I sewed a bonnet for my daughter... she wants a DNA tests to make sure I'm not as robotic clone...
The best part of this new friendship... Material! I have just been dried out here in blogland.

Upcoming Topics:
Friends my own age
Babies again
The adventures of preteen eye makeup

So what big change would put an old friend in shock? Do tell!

News Article - Must Read - Woman's Head actually Explodes

2009-10-23T10:30:00.003-04:00

Woman's Head actually Explodes

suspected Mother in Law is the cause

Today MIL called Lucky Wife to tell her that her preteen had forwarded her a creepy picture of a girl holding a knife, with a traditional scary Halloween story that implied "If you don't forward this to 10 people, you will find pictured scary girl at the foot of your bed" MIL's intentions were to "tattle" on the young girl but Lucky Wife - THE MOTHER - had already seen said item. Preteen had showed me the item herself. MIL then proceeded to try and figure out what the child's punishment was (if any) and she was dismayed to hear "it was handled" giving her NO satisfaction to her request. The MIL then told Lucky Wife that she "just feels better talking about it" to which Lucky Wife replied that she was at work and she would have to find someone else to talk to.

Unfortunately this conversation has NOT hindered her plans to visit us in 2 weeks.

Twlight zone

2009-10-22T05:56:00.005-04:00

I entered a parallel universe yesterday...

Yesterday, hubby and I were having a small tiff, I guess. He's on edge, something seems "off" to him, but he's not sure what it is. Eh... so anyways...

Little P and I left for church, but at some point between leaving the house and returning, I somewhere entered a worm hole to a parallel universe... For when I arrived, my husbands mustache and goatee of 6+ years, the facial hair of which I love, the facial hair that made Little P remark that now he looked like a "REAL DADDY" the facial hair that binded us in a contract that while his hair remained on his face, my hair remained long... WAS GONE.

He's hoping that he just needed a change to take the uneasy feeling away.

I am frightened and confused (and scheduling a hair appt)...

that was the only close I could find on shot notice, since I really should be in the shower by now... I took that pic just as we hit a bump on the hayride...

News from the home front

2009-10-20T07:48:00.002-04:00

1. No baby decision has been made, not that one was scheduled to be made yet... but in case you were wondering... no decision.
2. Hubby is back to work and has been transferred to the Engineering Dept. which is an awesome thing.
3. Today is my dad's birthday... He's 63, today is also my friend Penny's birthday she's 49, not that any of this matters to you. You may find it interesting that I dread this phone call... Why? Well, it is just such a painful call at times... I will post our dialogue later, you'll see.
4. I completely lost it on my daughter this morning...After I woke her 472 times, she finally dressed and went back to sleep, then I yelled and screamed and she brushed her teeth and hair and went to watch TV, I stomped, screamed, snarled and snorted and she finally put her shoes, coat and backpack on. When I went outside she was REFUSING to get in the back seat because Sissy was in the front (it's a 2 door) It was at that moment that I said:

Get in the car

Get in the car!!!

Which echoed off every hill, and down every hollow in the county...

Great start to the day...

just can't make any sense of my feelings

2009-10-05T07:29:00.002-04:00

ok, blog sisters... I really need you here... I have previously mentioned the idea of having another baby... but it was really all talk and no action... Until recently.

Hubby took me out to lunch(that should have been my first clue) and toward the end of our meal he said "We need to talk" oh great, I'm thinking, what did I screw up now? "I've been thinking about this for a while now and I do want to have another baby, now I don't want you to make any decisions right away, just think about it" ok sure, I'll think about it...

Here's the problem, my decision changes with the wind. One day I feel all maternal and lovey and we took our girls to the library and hubby picked out a book "Preconception diet, Boy-Diet A, Girl-Diet B" which was fine until I saw that it was written in 1982,and it said "based on recent discoveries about the use of alcohol during pregnancy, we have omitted them from the diet" and the first day mentions Cow Tongue...Sorry sweet heart, I don't love you that much.

Then the wind blows and I remember that I have a (almost)12 yr old and 9 yr old. So that means when the new baby FINALLY starts kindergarten, the girls will be juniors and freshmen in HS. Seriously?

Then, directional wind change... we have 2 girls, and I would guess if we only had boys that I would long for a girl... Would I? Not June, do you ever wished your had gone one more time to get a girl? Stacy? any regrets ladies? I NEED TO KNOW!

Quite frankly, and I know this is might sound strange, but I am way more in love with my hubby now than when we had babies... we were still kids our selves... (I was 22 and 25 when they were born) I think experiencing having a child with this man would be exciting... and completely different from the first two, when he thought I had aliens in my belly and didn't even want to feel them kick...

And then I feel like Lynette from Desperate housewives after she found out she was pregnant... Here watch Hormones

I sometimes feel like I am too old to have more, and then realize that the reason I hang out with woman 10-15 years older than me is because we have the same ages kids and they all started at my age... Started... See I had my two girls at age 22 and age 25, I am now 34... Which I am having a hard time gripping with that I am not too old... I actually had convinced myself that it was too late... Door shut... seems it never got shut all the way...

How does anyone PLAN to have a child? I am a train wreck... My thoughts are scrambled, as is this post (sorry) One day I am ready to just let God bless me in what ever way he sees fit, and then the next I think... yeah right... have you not seen the sense of humor he has? He'll bless me alright, with twins and before you know it, I have have 3 more...

I just can't make any sense of my feelings, hormones, maternal desires... Do I want this, or do I want this for Hubby? Will I resent him? Will I flourish?

**Sigh**

I truly don't know what I want.

Hello God, Can we talk?

2009-09-21T13:44:00.004-04:00

See I am having trouble figuring out how I can be a godly woman, and my MIL can be a godly woman, and how she makes my head want to explode and all the non-godly things that I struggle to overcome all the time come out?

Hmmm?

See, in a rational sense, I love her, but quite frankly I am tired of her ... gee I'm just a naive christian woman excuse... I mean, if she SERIOUSLY thought I was watching my weight, and on a diet, and proclaim that she desperatly needed to loose weight, then why did she buy 3 boxes of klondike bars, 3 half gallons of ice cream, 1 jumbo bag of hershey's chocolate, nacho cheese and chips?

If she really was "just about to empty the garbage", how come she never actually does?

Quite frankly, I don't care if she doesn't... it's the constant "I was just about to do that" comment, and the grand gesture she makes of everything... She actually said to my mom, "Don't worry about mopping the floor, I did that yesterday"

Then, when we are turned around in an unfamiliar part of town, and she is screaming or I mean talking on the phone and hubby askes her to be quite... and then I tell her to be quiet, and she continues SQUACK SQUACK SQUACK... and I say "Let it GO! He can't hear the GPS"

I have to apologize because I hurt her feelings...

God, I am angry and having trouble letting this go...

How come...

2009-09-16T13:11:00.004-04:00

How come...

...my MIL can assume that I am earnestly attempting to watch my weight, but I can not assume her current hair color wasn't a freak accident?

...the television is hooked up to subwoofers so that they can hear but when I get up at 5 am and step on that one squeaky board, they wake up and invade my quiet time?

...noone offers to unload the dishwasher/fold clothes/cook dinner until I am 75% done doing it myself?

Just wondering...